How emotionally intelligent are you?
Emotional intelligence is a trait that’s important in building relationships with other people, and even more important in building a relationship with yourself. Put simply—the more emotionally intelligent you are, you’ll have better and more productive relationships with people, and you’ll also be happier, more efficient, and more at peace. It’s a win-win deal.
So again—how emotionally intelligent are you? Here are six of the most common signs of high emotional intelligence: See how many you have.
Sign #1: Not Harboring Grudges
Think of the people who have hurt you in the last few years. Do you still harbor ill feelings towards them today? If so, then you tend to hold grudges… and it’s probably affecting your relationships with other people, as well as subjecting yourself to tons of unnecessary stress.
Here’s why: Whenever you think back about the time someone hurt you, your mind basically re-enacts the event – like it was happening all over again. And your body reacts accordingly, triggering feelings of anger, resentment, and stress. Multiply this by dozens of times over the years, and that’s a lot of self-inflicted pain—all of which could be avoided.
Don’t do that to yourself—instead, do whatever it takes to free yourself from your grudges.
Sign #2: Not a People-Pleaser
Do you find it hard to say “no” to other people? Do you tend to make too many promises than you can keep? If so, then you may have people-pleasing habits—which is a sign that you secretly need other people’s approval and acceptance to be happy.
Not good! If you can’t say “no” to other people, then some people may start taking advantage of you. And that’s a one-way ticket to resentment, cynicism, and grudges.
So if you’re a people-pleaser, I have two pieces of advice for you:
- Learn to say “no” to people who ask you for more time, money, or energy than you can give
- Learn to say “no” to yourself, especially when it comes to knee-jerk decisions that will affect your life negatively (e.g. binge eating, staying in bed on a workday, trolling people on the Internet, etc.)
Sign #3: Not Being Offended Easily
Being easily offended is a clear sign of emotional weakness. On the other hand, emotionally intelligent men are confident enough to make fun of themselves, even in front of other people.
In case you want to stop being offended so easily, here’s a fast and slow way to get there:
- The fastest way to stop being offended is to stop taking anything personally. That includes personal attacks and insults – learn to dismiss them as trivial, unimportant, and untrue.
- The long-term way to stop being offended is to rid yourself of the “Me first” mindset. While it’s good to know you’re important, it’s NOT good to expect strangers to accord you the same importance.
Sign #4: Curiosity About Others
When you don’t care about other people and their lives, it’s a sign of low empathy… which in turn is a sign of low emotional intelligence. It can result in fewer friends and fewer people who want anything to do with you.
On the other hand, when you have high emotional intelligence, you tend to care about other people more, and often wonder what their lives are like.
Sign #5: Accepting Change
As you might guess, resisting change is a sign of low emotional intelligence… but that’s not even the worst thing. If you’re a man who resists change, you’re probably subjecting yourself to a world of hurt, inviting pain and frustration into your life needlessly.
Here’s why: Change is inevitable. Men with high emotional intelligence understand this, and as a result establish systems and redundancies in their lives in order to weather (and even benefit from) unexpected changes.
Sign #6: High Self-Awareness
Last question: Do you know your strengths and admit your weaknesses? Or are you still not sure, and still in the process of finding out?
Men with high emotional intelligence are well-aware of their strengths and core gifts, and at the same time are not ashamed to admit their flaws, especially to themselves. These men end up building their lives around their gifts, and working with other people who cover their weaknesses.
How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?
So how many signs of high emotional intelligence do you have? Hopefully, you have most of the six signs enumerated in this article. But even if you don’t, that’s still a good thing—now you know which areas of your life to work on.
Remember, EQ has been proven to be a much better predictor of success than IQ is. So build emotional intelligence now, and you’ll reap the rewards throughout your lifetime … and so will the people in your life.
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Photo: Getty Images