Australian Super Rugby sensation and cult hero Nick Cummins, aka The Honey Badger, has completely stolen the show this week. Read on as “The Badge” takes over “Say What?” for the week of April 16-22.
Cummins, who is renowned for his colourful vocabulary, strung together a post-match interview for the ages last weekend after his Super Rugby team, the Western Force, who hail from Perth, Western Australia, lost a close one to the Stormers from Capetown, South Africa. In his incomparable “strine” — Aussie slang — Cummins took us on a veritable verbal safari which even made USA Today’s For The Win. This week, we decided to decipher the most confounding parts of the interview for Say What?
First things first, here is the interview in all its glory…
…and so to the translation.
“I sound like I’ve been bloody whacked in the Niagara Falls.”
“The loss really affected me deeply. I feel like I’ve been hit in the testicles.”
“It was quite an emotional loss, but jeez there’s a bee’s wanger in it and we’re not far off.”
“Losing was tough, but we’re close to where we have to be. The competition is so close the difference can only be measured by the size of a bee’s penis.”
“Like bloody Burke and Wills, you know, just get up the guts, press forward and wait until some bastard rescues you.”
“In 1860, Robert O’Hara Burke and William John Wills attempted to become the first Europeans to cross Australia right through the centre, a distance of approximately 2,000 miles. In a similar fashion, our tactics today were to attack the opposition through the middle of the ground, stopping at nothing, and knowing that our teammates would support each other when required.”*
*While Burke and Wills are remembered for their courage, the expedition itself was ill-feted, with both men losing their lives on the return journey, due to a combination of bad luck and poor leadership.
*Not to be confused with “burkin’ wheels” as this quote was originally transcribed on Irish sports website, Balls.
“We’re going to bloody kick the tires and light the fires.”
“We will play with the utmost passion and energy and do our best to win each game.”
“Get your jacksie down, bang it on a seat and we’ll shake hands, tell a few stories after the game.”
“I suggest you come along, sit down, and afterwards perhaps we’ll meet to discuss the match.”
If there are any other parts of the interview which you are still unable to comprehend, please comment below and we will be sure to provide you with further translation as required.
Photo Credit: AP/File