Did you just click on this post about men and spirituality only because the title included the word skeptical? If you did you are not alone. Women are more likely than men to be religious or spiritual, then are men and there is a good evolutionary theory base as to why this might be.
Alan S. Miller and Satoshi Kanazawa, in their book, Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters, write, “A worldwide survey asked more than one hundred thousand people from seventy different countries and regions the following two questions: ‘Do you believe in God’ and ‘Independent of whether you go to church or not, would you say you are a religious person, not a religious person, or a convinced atheist?’ By these measures, with only a couple of minor exceptions, women in all nations and regions are more religious than men.”
Men tend to be less religious than women, because they are more prone to risk taking.
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Miller and Kanazawa theorize that men tend to be less religious than women, because they are more prone to risk taking. They give the example of prehistoric homo sapiens noticing an unusual movement in the grass. Such an event may be evidence of a life threatening predator, life sustaining prey or nothing to get excited about. Men typically have more muscle mass, speed and a louder voice then do women. Men charging into the bush to find diner or to vocalize sounds that are signals to “run away,” seems like a good match between Y chromosome attributes and the situation.
Women might be better suited to attribute the movement in the grass to be evidence of a passing spirit, a good thing, nothing to worry about. If you live on the savannah you can’t go charging into the weeds every time the wind blows, this would burn too many calories. Even if there is a hungry saber tooth tiger near by, sometime staying put favors survival.
Could it be that men who fought and ran lived to transmit their genetic material, women who did so might not have done it so much. Could a good deal of male muscle have been wasted trusting in the supernatural too?
Men may have evolved to want to be ghost busters, more than true believers.
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I used to give lectures and lead discussions for men who were in treatment for substance abuse disorders on the uses of spiritual beliefs to manage mood. Of the behavioral health conditions, substance abuse is the one that is much more prevalent in men than in women. (It is interesting that attention deficit disorders are another. “What ripples in the grass do I pay attention to?”). One of the theories as to why this is so, is that male risk taking lands men in court rooms more often then women. Men are more likely to risk that evidence of their drunk driving will go unnoticed. They are more likely to risk that they can get away with problem solving through violence, with alcohol and other drugs being abused to augment male courage and keep guilt avoidance thoughts silenced. Men sometimes abuse substances to go into coal mines and combat and dangerous construction sites and sometimes abuse them to recover from dangerous and/or disgusting missions.
Talking about religion is often too risky to attempt at diner parties or anywhere were cool conversation is valued…I let it be none that I wasn’t in the mood for any such arguments.
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Men typically didn’t volunteer to attend my lectures. They were a part of treatment programs, that kept them out of jail or from their wife leaving them, or their children disowning them.
Talking about religion is often too risky to attempt at diner parties or anywhere were cool conversation is valued. I tried to keep the peace by starting lectures with a statement that I realized many horrific wars have been fought and continue to be fought in place of kind conversations as to what runs the Universe. I let it be none that I wasn’t in the mood for any such arguments.
I would tell men that I was not interested in converting anybody to anything. I calmed my nerves when addressing this topic by pretending I was addressing a room full of devote atheists. I would give high praise to the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, for their conceptualization of a “Higher Power,” as being any representation of a man not being the sole captain of his fate, that a man would like to have. I let on that I thought that for some men believing that a Higher Power was bullshit, was a good way to go too.
I did this not because I was a complete coward, but because I believe in the value of a man choosing his own spiritual path. ( I admit I struggled when I worked individually with a man who identified as a Satanist).
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Religion is a subset of spirituality. Certain beliefs and rituals, over time, have become so popular that they define membership in well known groups. What than is spirituality?
One way of looking at spirituality is that there are influences to the outcome of human plans that are beyond the control of the planners. Another way of looking at is that their are situations that human beings experience that are exalted, appreciated, sought after, for the rarified emotional experiences they can create. Some people believe that everything is sacred. Others believe that nothing is sacred. Some are in-between.
I used to lecture that human beings like to get high and to cope well with being low. Mood altering substances do the trick, but sometimes with disastrous side effects. I suggested that men in treatment for substance abuse disorders often have the motivation to try out spirituality, as a substitute for drug abuse.
“Spirit” comes from the Latin word for breath. The breath that goes in and out of people can’t be seen, but it sure seems more important to sustaining life than many things that can be seen. There are beliefs that unseen benevolent forces influence human destiny . Some believe that benevolence is a given, others believe it must be earned. Some believe that life is an absurd joke no matter what you do.
I would suggest to the group that many of the mood altering tricks of spirituality could be had without calling it that. Some men are more comfortable with the probability function based belief system of science and its associated empirical based approach to counseling, known as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. In brief, this is an approach based on the theory that what you tell yourself in the form of thoughts effects how you feel. So do behaviors that you engage in.
Men who think about life’s hassles and accidents, as opportunities for personal growth generate different moods then men who think that such effects are evidence of life sucking big time. Men who linger on thoughts of gratitude when things go their way, have differing moods from men who wish that the good times were better still and would last longer.
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Believing that a “Higher Power” of some kind delivers life’s goodies and knows what life lessons a man needs to learn the hard way and expects a thank you in return for both, is perfectly fine, but not necessary to get the mood altering benefits of changed thinking.
Behaviors such as seeking solitude, getting down on one’s knees, obtaining an object to remind one of the power of certain thoughts, can be done in keeping with certain religious or spiritual traditions, or scientific theory.
Interestingly highly distilled alcoholic beverages are referred to as “spirits.” This comes from the accidental discovery of brandy, when filtered water was drained from casks of wine to reduce shipping weight. The discovery made when somebody sampled the result, before it was rehydrated, was so praised, that word spread quickly that the very essence of the mood altering capacity of fermented juices had been isolated.
Many men believe that there is an essence to life, often surrounded by chaotic motion and clammer. They often find this essence in Nature.
Too many men believe that they must have great wealth to travel long distances to exotic locals to have a sublime experience. They forget about the calm of watching the drift of a dandelion seed, the glint of light from a city park pond.
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Wandering through desserts, arduous pilgrimages, and path seeking are classic spiritual practices. The wonder of the woods is often discovered in boyhood and often neglected in manhood.
Men often take the lead in chopping wood for shelter and warmth. They clear land and set boundaries. They drill and they mine. They hunt and trap for food and clothing. They measure their strength and resolve fighting the full force of the Natural. Sometimes they just walk. Sometimes they just sit. Sit and watch light filtering through trees and dancing on waters flowing and still. They listen not for prey, but for the sacred call of bird song and wind. They prospect not for minerals, but for the visual gold of the wild’s many hues.
Too many men believe that they must have great wealth to travel long distances to exotic locals to have a sublime experience. They forget about the calm of watching the drift of a dandelion seed, the glint of light from a city park pond.
For many men the voice of God or the Gods is most distinct on mountain tops and hillsides. Some go to canyon cathedrals to pray.
Some men have no Supernatural in their natural and find just as much awe and wonder dwelling there.
As a man, what unseen forces influence the fate of your plans? Does your life have an essence? Where do you find it? Where might it be discovered?
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