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Contrary to what you might think, it doesn’t take much to become an everyday hero. At the most basic level, being a hero is about doing something to uplift the people around you.
Sadly, due to self-limiting beliefs, many of us never discover or unleash the heroic version of ourselves. We all have aspects of ourselves we don’t think we can overcome. But with willpower and work, it is possible to strive for—and eventually reach—the “best version” of us we seek within.
When you decide to reach for your best self, whoever that may be, the world around you will notice the change. Some people may be suspicious of the transformation process. But rest assured there will also be those who support and encourage your growth.
Self-improvement is never just about your personal advancement. Becoming the best version of yourself can have a significant positive impact on other people’s lives. Ultimately, self-support is “other-support.”
Now that we’ve established the importance of positive personal development let’s consider four steps you can take to become your authentic self.
First Step: Confront Your “Worst Thing”
The first step on the path to redefining yourself is usually the most difficult. So make the most of it. This is an opportunity for you to do some real soul-searching, and being totally honest with yourself when it comes to your habits, both good and bad.
Note that you don’t necessarily have to be brutally honest with yourself. You don’t have to beat yourself up during this process. Don’t punish yourself for your past. We’ve all got skeletons in our closets. It’s part of the human experience to make mistakes. Therefore, show yourself some grace and kindness during your self-exploration.
But you must dig deep, take a long look at yourself, and think about what may be the “worst” thing about you from the standpoint of your beliefs and behaviors. Perhaps you don’t respect people like you should, or maybe you have a habit of cheating others. Maybe there are goals you want to accomplish, and you tend to avoid challenging yourself.
Whatever it is, tackle your biggest “worst thing” first! It’s like being on a ship with a hole in the bottom and an engine that won’t work. Which problem do you fix first? The hole!
Ultimately, you must identify those aspects of yourself that are holding you back with regret and negative self-talk. Prioritize the big issues causing you the most strife. Then, work on replacing the underlying thoughts, beliefs, and emotions fueling your self-imposed punishment.
Second Step: Walk Toward Your Challenges
We all have things in life we find challenging. For many of us, fear of failure is a huge obstacle. Even though failure is necessary for success, we may have been convinced otherwise during our lives. Due to this, we may never take risks, avoiding the possibility of “losing.” This can lead to an incredibly unfulfilling, empty life.
Other people might find social interactions difficult. Instead of working on this issue, they hide away from society. They may, for instance, choose careers that allow them to work in isolation, and always find excuses to avoid gatherings.
The best way to loosen the grip of a chronic fear is by exposing yourself more often to that fear. For the socially awkward, that means purposely putting yourself into group situations whenever possible. Eventually, you’ll get used to it, and you might even start to enjoy it.
The same can be true for those who fear failure. If you’re scared of failing, then you need to keep trying until it doesn’t debilitate you anymore when you don’t succeed. Eventually, you will overcome and find the success you want, but perhaps in a much different way than you ever imagined. This is why you will often see it best to detach from expectations and avoid fixating on “one true path” to achieving your goals.
Remember: if you don’t try at all, you’ll miss the possibility of success completely.
Third Step: Don’t Worry About What Others Think
We often worry about how people see us, and how they judge us. We’re social creatures, and one of our greatest fears is that of rejection by others of our species.
However, you can overcome this hardwired fear when you examine your issues rationally. Those people you’re worried about judging you? In most cases, they probably haven’t given you a second thought. We often overestimate how much people think about us.
Once you stop worrying about what people think, you’ll have a taste of true freedom. As Teddy Roosevelt said, comparison is the thief of joy. Once you disengage from the comparison game many people like to play, you will release yourself from the heavy chains of judgment.
Of course, your happiness shouldn’t come at the expense of others. This brings us to the final step.
Fourth Step: Give Back
Finally, you should make sure you’re giving something back to the world. This planet gave you life, and the chance to experience hope, joy, and love. It’s time to pay it forward and define who you are through good deeds. If you do this, you may well have reached the best version of yourself.
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The truth is that the four steps discussed in this article will take some persistence and practice to incorporate them into your daily habits. But it is nowhere near the challenge you may think.
Be unlike the majority of people around you. Strive to take on these four steps to a more authentic you, and you’ll tap into the heroism inherent to the human condition.
A version of this article was originally published at Live The Hero.
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