Joanna d’Arc. You probably heard about that gal. A woman with ambitions and sword in hand. Also a woman without a braid and a pretty dress. Exceptional, breaking all the schematics and conventions, a hero even!
Still the same stereotypes, handcuffs and blinkers allowing us to see only one way.
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All right, now let’s watch our streets six centuries later. The number of female bodies fitted into pants and garnished with man-like haircuts is really striking. And again, that’s all right too. It’s called progress; everything changes. After all, fashion is just an aftermath of societal change and emancipation of the better sex. So, to the point—I’m writing about this because after almost 600 years, nothing has changed for men. Still the same stereotypes, handcuffs and blinkers allowing us to see only one way.
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Recently, I analyzed some perfume commercials for my studies. Though there were some unavoidable similarities in all the many commercials meant for women, I could easily identify at least five different ways of understanding feminity through these advertisements. And guess what I saw in the ones for men? Dull, boring, close-minded and repetitive ideas. Every single one was practically identical; it would be enough to watch one or two to know them all. Basically, they looked like this: Smokin’ hot fella, slightly mysterious, being arrogant. And that’s all. Obviously money, luxurious cars, and objectified, beautiful women remain nice additions.
Ask them if the douche with Dom Perignon in one hand and a wad of dollars in the other is sexier than a guy holding a baby or playing with his dog.
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That’s the only desired model of masculinity that the media keeps pumping into our heads. Ask your wives, girlfriends, etc. if that’s how they imagine their ideal man to be. Is that the Romeo they want? Ask them if the douche with Dom Perignon in one hand and a wad of dollars in the other is sexier than a guy holding a baby or playing with his dog. Seriously. And being the little gambler that I am, I will bet you that I know the answer; it’s not the first one.
But if that’s so, I wonder why we keep forcing on ourselves a model of behavior that’s doomed from the start. Why are we unable to understand a woman’s needs regarding masculinity, and embrace proper lifestyles and ideals? Nowadays, it is very cool to say that the real woman is whoever she wants to be. Nice, I envy women. We don’t have that freedom; we have stripped ourselves off it. Men are the most oppressive group for other men. Driven with the constant need for rivalry, we have run ourselves into a prison of closed minds.
So seriously, chill the hell out for a minute. Stop wondering what the guys from work, gym or elsewhere will think about you. Buy that fancy latte with whipped cream and syrup. Wear that t-shirt she bought you. Play some of your guilty pleasure music. Because if there is one thing that is 100% manly, it’s confidence. Also, if you didn’t like what you just read—don’t follow it. Obviously, you don’t have to listen to some dude on the internet, right?
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
But if that’s so, I wonder why we keep forcing on ourselves a model of behavior that’s doomed from the start. Here’s something I’ve learned over the years. Men limit themselves to models of masculinity that work. And by work I mean they lead to success in work, with women, and life in general. Sure its easy to say that men self inflict these models but I’ve learned its not that simple. I can say its been extremely rare that I’ve done something that goes outside the boring bland model of masculinity you mention and a man complained about it.… Read more »
AMEN!