One thing we’ve talked about on this blog a lot is that there’s different approaches to and ideas of masculinity. I thought our readers would have some interesting experiences to share. What makes you personally feel masculine, folks? Or if not you personally, what do you perceive or experience as masculine?
Me, I confess, some of it is just straight-up gender performativity. Lifting something heavy? Totally feels masculine. Shaving with a straight razor? Manly as fuck, yo. Hoisting a wolf over my head? …Christ, that looks weird typed out, but I do it and it’s definitely a manly feeling. Next up, punching a grizzly bear! With my dick!
There’s a subtler thing as well, though. I feel masculine when I can take care of someone, when they have a problem or a crisis and I’m able to resolve it and make it better. When I’m able to handle things and deal with stuff while maintaining a cool head, I feel like a man. There’s part of my definition of masculinity that involves being a reliable, capable person that other people can count on to get shit done.
Now, I do worry that this means that, via binary thinking, I on some level perceive women as unreliable, incapable, and unable to get shit done. We all have a lot of our own stuff to unpack, after all. It is frustrating to me, however, that most pop-culture perceptions of the concept of masculinity focus more on the grizzly dick-punching, if you will, and less on the getting shit done.
But, as I say, that’s strictly my personal feeling of masculinity. What are some of yours?