hi I’m John Paul Braemar aka hola papi
and my eyes can’t perceive the color
orange I don’t know why it’s a problem
I’m going to be telling you a little bit
about how to date in this video first of
all I have like sexually induced sneeze
syndrome whenever you feel aroused you
uncontrollably feel like you have to
sneeze one time I was like in the middle
of hooking up with someone and it was
just like we’re using up from like my
toes up to my body and it just I just
sneeze all over him and then he went
home the other thing about minutes
really funny is like you does never know
where they’re gonna come from you’re on
Grindr and you’re ready and you’re
available it’s like there’s no one but
when you’re like alone in the Chili’s
parking lot at like 2:00 a.m. one will
just like appear from behind a bush and
make eye contact eye contact with you
for like a really uncomfortable amount
of time and he’ll be holding this like
cooler thing and you’re gonna want to
know what’s in the box but if you open
the box like don’t look at it
that’s what coming out is like kids it’s
just men emerging from the shadows
holding weird objects and you feeling
like you need to look at it and you do
and then you’re gay and it’s beautiful
so the other thing about dating where to
take your man on a date and that’s a
really really important thing to keep in
mind this one guy he invited me to play
catch with him in a park we started
throwing the ball back and forth and it
was really beautiful and I was like oh
my god what an amazing date this is and
then he was like I’m your biological
father
avoid parks another really important
thing about dating you want to choose
the right one so like even if you really
really really like this one guy you know
date his brother date his best friend
date that best friend’s dad just keep
dating until you know everything and
once you know everything the gag is you
won’t want anyone I don’t know people
ask me for advice this is crazy it was
going to ruin my entire career and stay
safe always have safe sex practice
self-care Robert Denney’s just be queer
I think that that’s the moral of the
story here I’m hola papi adios
I can’t wait
—
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