When Gregory first met his husband, their first date conversation quickly turned to raising a family and their mutual desire to have kids. Before long, they were living together and exploring the various avenues to starting their family. Eventually, through patience and perseverance, they were able to grow their family of two to a family of five.
00:03
I’m Gregory orga Gerty I’m from Victoria Texas I moved to Philadelphia to attend
00:10
law school once I got here I met my husband Paul when I met Paul one of the
00:17
things that attracted me to him is the fact that he was very family-oriented he
00:21
comes from a huge family one of the first things that we talked about was
00:25
just raising a family or if we could raise a family we moved in with each
00:31
other probably six months after we met and then we wanted to have kids one day
00:37
Paul came home with a flyer that said something about LGBTQ potential parents
00:46
and if you’re interested in possibly adopting on foster adopt kids to attend
00:51
I attended what we attended one of the things that we liked about it is that we
00:58
found a path to possibly create my family we did meet someone there with an
01:04
adoption agency and we did all the paperwork one of the things that they
01:07
gave us was something what they call Swan where you look up to see what kid
01:15
you want that didn’t work out so we waited we did find someone within that
01:21
agency that understood who we were as to game in and figured out that that’s the
01:27
problem probably why we weren’t getting kids and so when she took over as the
01:32
foster manager we did get a call and that’s where Bella came in when we did
01:38
get that call they said described her and when she would come over so we
01:44
prepared the room everything was done then the next day we got a call saying
01:47
that it may be a problem so we got a call that it may be a problem since
01:51
Bella was currently with another foster parent that had intended to adopt her
01:55
and Bella’s birth mom really liked this lady they had a history together and she
02:02
didn’t know us Paul and I and personally I think the fact that we were two dads I
02:07
think they gave her pause so the person we knew at the adoption agency decided
02:14
to like maybe have a meeting between her and Paulin myself and we met her and
02:20
when we met her soon she came into the room I knew there was a connection she
02:26
looked exactly like Paul’s sister and I think she had that same connection with
02:30
us and I remember at the end of that meeting she gave us a picture of Belet
02:34
that was the only picture she had and she gave it to us and she thanked us for
02:39
stepping up and it continued on the option you know became final and it was
02:45
pretty much a good thing but one of the things that that bothered me is the fact
02:49
that that lady that once was gonna die Bella she never had that opportunity and
02:57
Bella’s a great kid a really good kid so not one of the things I used to tell a
03:00
good friend of mine is that we through through someone else’s pain we gained
03:08
that’s just something we talked about but it is what it is so raising Bella
03:14
was easy she was a great kid she took her naps she loved broccoli I mean she
03:20
was just a good kid beautiful kid so we decided we wanted another kid we we got
03:25
another kid his name is Xander we got a call that he was being born he was born
03:29
and that to come to the hospital and pick him up and so I was excited we
03:33
didn’t even have a chance to make a room or anything like that so on our way we
03:37
got a call from the hospital said don’t come he’s gonna die I mean it was just
03:41
like that I said we were still on our way he apparently they thought had fluid
03:46
on his his lungs he didn’t there was a misdiagnosis so when we got
03:51
there the nurse came out or the doctor came out rather and said that he had all
03:57
these problems all these things I think the doctor
04:00
I told whispered to Xander at Susanna you have to fight I asked her to give me
04:05
his medical records we grabbed him and we left
04:07
Xander comes home from the hospital as a newborn and we bring him home Bella’s
04:13
going crazy because it’s a new baby in the house Xander gets adjusted Paul
04:18
decides to stay home with Xander because I stayed home with
04:21
Bella for a while have a really close relationship with Bella so he wanted to
04:26
stay on to be with Xander we got a call from the same contact we had at the
04:32
adoption agency and said you know you guys we have another kid that you may be
04:39
interested in and that’s Trevor and that fact Paul wasn’t even here when the
04:43
adoption agency calls us they give us a description and you have a little bit of
04:47
time to decide at that point we had 15 minutes so I try to call Paul he didn’t
04:52
answer the phone so I said yes Xander and Trevor even though we got him
04:56
at different times they were adopted at the same time they came to the same
05:00
agency so that was a nice little event that we had with them those two but when
05:05
I look at it we started off as a couple who are totally different Oh an
05:09
interracial relationship with me being 15 years older than Paul but we all have
05:14
one thing we both have one thing in common the love of family and we created
05:18
our own family we did marry five years ago and we married just before we
05:22
finally adopted Bella because we felt like we wanted to give them our name
05:27
which is a very unique name and it’s a long name but we all have the same name
05:34
and I think that’s important as a family unit I’m very proud of my family and we
05:38
we have it’s a picture of Xander and I think I mentioned this earlier that he
05:42
plays football and I have a picture of him in his
05:45
Jersey and on the back it says you’re he Gertie and I’ve looked at that when I
05:51
saw that it it brought that all those memories of when Paul and I met and I
05:56
said when he brought to me he said do you do you want kids and I’m like yeah I
06:00
want kids and I thought it was really it weird that a 20 year old boy well I
06:05
could he was a boy but would ask me on the first day do I want kids and I saw
06:14
that photo and I thought wow now we have three kids with our name on it so I
06:19
thought that was pretty cool and I think that kind of summarizes our family oh
06:23
who we are one of the things that we are moving towards who Paul and I is not to
06:29
focus on our kids being adopted they’re our kids
06:32
period no matter how they were conceived or where they came from if our kids ever
06:36
come back and read maybe our blog or watch this one of the things that I want
06:42
them to know is that they were they are our kids and they were purposely chosen
06:47
they loved truly loved
07:09
you
◊♦◊
Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
◊♦◊
Talk to you soon.
If you believe in the work we are doing here at The Good Men Project and want to join our calls on a regular basis, please join us as a Premium Member, today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all-access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class, and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group, and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
