A random Flickr search led to an important insight for one of the Executive Editors of the Good Men Project.
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I was on Flicker Creative Commons the other day, searching for an image for another post I was working on when I came across this, obviously quite old, photo strip of a father and his son. In the first three images, they are highly engaged with each other—playing around the same way we see modern day fathers playing and loving on their children on social media like Facebook and Instagram. In the last image, it is as if the father has suddenly snapped into the way he is “supposed” to be portrayed—chin up, eyes at the camera, stern expression. Seeing this series of photos gave me a flash of insight. Fathers have ALWAYS loved their children—which of course is what I have always believed. Yet the disconnect for me has been that virtually all of the photos we see from this era mirror the image on the far right. The stoic father holding his child firmly in place, no smile, no indication he is enjoying their time together. Seeing the three photos leading up to the last one caught my attention and helped this piece of the puzzle fall into place. Of course it is not some new phenomenon, this love of fathers for their children. Fathers are not suddenly joining mothers with their all-consuming love. That has always been there. The difference is that fathers are now able to openly express that love, without—or at least, with less—ridicule. Whereas before it was something private—and certainly not something captured by images and photos of those times—fathers can now openly share their personal love and joy in being a parent.Progress. We are making progress.
And let’s not forget, just because someone doesn’t share their love and joy with the rest of the world every day, does not mean the love for their children is not there.
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Photo: simpleinsomnia/Flickr