He was, and is, and forever will be: Butters.
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Matt Stone and Trey Parker are the creators of the long-running adult cartoon South Park, and Matt Stone and Trey Parker are also assholes. I have never met either of them, but to understand why I am so certain of their asshole status you have to go back to July 1999.
Back in the 90s, South Park was huge. Their fan base ranged from naïve pre-teens, rebellious teenagers, college pranksters, to full-fledged “grown-ups.” By July 14, 1999 (episode 38, “Cat Orgy”), there had been a South Park album, a South Park full-length feature film, and a seemingly endless run of merchandising. The show’s cast of characters had been solidified with Stan, Kyle, Eric, and Kenny in the forefront for each episode.
Then, on July 21, 1999, the 39th episode aired and “Two Guy Naked in a Hot Tub” became the first to feature the character Leopold “Butters” Scotch in a major role.
Assholes.
Late in 1999, I was out of school and had been working for a couple years. My South Park days were behind me as I matured and entered the 9-to-5 rat race working for The Man. I was still sociable, however, and quite immature despite having a job title, a wife, and car payments. As such, when I would go out I would meet friends of friends and they would introduce me. It usually went like this:
My friend would say, “Oh hey, So-and-so, I’d like you to meet my friend Andrew Butters” and So-and-so, six times out of ten, would extend their hand to shake mine and say, “Butters? You know there’s a character on South Park named Butters?” Two of the remaining four times out of ten So-and-so would say, “Butters! Like the South Park character! Do you watch South Park?” For a long time, I mean close to two decades, my response was the same. “Yeah, just like the South Park character, except it’s his nickname and it’s my actual last name.” On the inside, however, I was losing my mind.
Then, sometime around 2010, it occurred to me that this was total bullshit and I had every reason to be pissed. Whenever anyone would hear my name and make a comment or ask me a question about South Park I would respond with the same thing:
“Fuck you.”
Invariably some of these people on the receiving end of my profanity would think out loud about me being a jerk for telling them off, but they don’t understand. They will never understand.
Imagine your name was Bruce Wayne. How long would you last before completely snapping at someone because they made a Batman reference? I’m guessing not long.
Here’s the thing: I was Butters a quarter of a century before South Park Butters was even a glint in Matt Stone or Trey Parker’s eye.
What’s worse, if you look at the character traits of South Park Butters there are some eerie parallels between the cartoon and me in my youth.
I, too, was generally perceived as a bit of a nerd and the subject of torment from other kids, especially classmates and kids at summer camp who were considered “cool.” The thing is, I have been known almost universally as Butters for as long as I can remember. Hell, even those kids at summer camp would call me Butters. By the time I was seventeen and a counselor, I had campers who didn’t even know my first name!
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I went to summer camp with a guy named Paul Stone. In fact, he and I were co-counselors for two weeks in 1991. He was a year older than I and always a cabin ahead and his brother was a year younger than I and was always a cabin behind. I was going over the whole South Park thing in my head one day, thinking about my legacy as Butters at summer camp, absolutely fuming of course, and it hit me. Paul Stone’s brother’s name was Matt.
Matt Stone.
Matt fucking Stone.
Well, I snapped. That’s the only way I can describe it. I went completely batshit crazy. Before you knew it I was on a mission. I had to prove that this was not the same Matt Stone. If that was not the case and it turned out that summer camp Matt Stone was the creator of South Park then I was getting a lawyer. Well, thank god for Wikipedia because after some frantic Google searches I was not coming up with anything useful. Wikipedia, however, had one piece of information that was the key to my investigation: his birth date. It turns out that South Park Matt Stone was a full four years older than summer camp Matt Stone and born in Houston, Texas and not Toronto, Canada.
All was not lost though, as anyone who knows me knows my paranoia runs deep and my imagination runs wild.
I’ve Googled myself to see what comes up (don’t judge, I know you have too). As a result, I’ve had contact with a few people around the world named Andrew Butters. It’s entirely possible that summer camp Paul Stone reached out to South Park Matt Stone at some point and the two exchanged some pleasantries and summer camp Matt Stone planted the seed of the idea for South Park Butters in the head of South Park Matt Stone.
Ugh, I’m starting to sound like one of those whacked out chem-trail believers.
So, it may be purely a coincidence that South Park Matt Stone and Trey Parker co-opted my youth, and I may not be able to prove they modeled him after me, but that doesn’t mean the unmistakable similarities and the years-long annoyances caused by this unfortunate “coincidence” can go ignored.
You, sirs, are assholes and every person who brings up South Park Butters in my presence will continue to receive the same response.
Source: 30dB.com – South Park and Butters
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Photo: Joel Ormsby/Flickr
And thank you for sharing this.