The Good Men Project

The Secret To a Successful Longterm Relationship – Why Love is So Hard


Falling in love is easy. Staying in love, however, is a very different beast to tame. Maintaining true love within a relationship requires effort and attention, and we must not forget this if we wish to truly experience its wonder.


Although it is true that we fall in love, that does not mean that once we fall, we just
simply lie there.
The infatuating sense of love that we feel when we first fall for someone cannot last
forever.
This sensation is merely the brain’s way of attempting to motivate reproduction.
It comes, works to do its job, and then leaves.
But the relationship formed from it does not have to.
If the relationship is honest and worthy, the true love underneath can live on.
True love can perpetuate when one understands that, like everything in life, love goes through
various stages and conditions.
It molds to our unique and changing life, and we must adapt and react accordingly.
The unconscious and lustful love that we experience during the honeymoon-phase of relationships
is often easy and carefree.
But this phase will eventually fade, and you must ensure that the individuals that you
choose to engage in relationships with for the purpose of love are individuals of whom
you will still want and enjoy love with when the roses die.
True love requires effort.
And you must work to ensure that such effort is worthwhile.
Like everything in life, you get what you put in.
And things that are worth a lot, require a lot.
By being aware of and embracing the effort that must come after the initial surge of
love flees, you can work to facilitate love beyond just lust and romance.
You can merge your life with another persons and experience the wonder of genuine connection.
We must constantly check our pride and ego within a relationship and prevent any sense
of comfort, selfishness, or routine within it.
You must be mindful and consider what differences you and your partner have.
What is it that they like that you do not, and vice versa?
We must not let our selfishness prevent us from providing a balanced and mutual exchange
of love according to each partners’ needs and preferences.
We must constantly make sacrifices and be willing to give up portions of our life that
help balance out our partners, trusting that they will do the same for us.
As scary as this may be, it is one of the only risks worth taking in life.
A life experienced without connection and love is a life unfulfilled.
It is an incomplete work of art.
If we wish to earn the experience of true love and fulfill the work of art that is our
life, we must realize the balance between the unconscious, infatuating acquisition of
love, and the conscious conservation of it.


This post was previously published on YouTube.

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