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What do you do if the person you are with comes to you telling you he wants a break?
You’re devastated, you’re scared, and every instinct in you tells you to fight for this person you care about so much.
What would you say to him?
In these moments we often do exactly the opposite of what we need to. If you’re in this situation, or you ever want to know what to do if someone says this to you again, please check out my new video. It’s going to give you the only response you’ll ever need…
I’d really appreciate it if you would share this video with as many women you care about as possible. I believe that if a video like this was given to all of us at the beginning of adulthood, it would save us all years of unnecessary suffering.
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:00
has someone you love and care about
00:01
recently told you that they are
00:03
considering
00:04
or want a break what do you do when this
00:07
happens
00:08
now naturally when this happens there is
00:10
going to be this flood of devastation
00:12
of panic of heartbreak
00:15
of feeling like we did something wrong
00:17
of looking for a way to solve it
00:20
what we have to do is for a moment quiet
00:22
our emotions as much as we can we’re
00:24
human we’re gonna let them out but
00:26
we have to quiet them enough to have a
00:28
reasoned conversation with this person
00:31
and this conversation is absolutely
00:33
vital because it can
00:34
literally mean the difference between
00:36
you wasting months or years of your life
00:39
and finding something or someone that is
00:41
right for you the conversation is in
00:43
three parts
00:44
number one you ask them why
00:48
they want to go on a break and you do
00:51
this as calmly and as reasonably as
00:53
possible because what you want is an
00:55
honest answer the reason you want an
00:57
honest answer is because
00:58
you’re gonna have to use that to
01:00
evaluate what you do next now they’re
01:02
gonna give reasons
01:03
you have to ask yourself are these
01:04
reasons to do with them are they to do
01:06
with me
01:07
are they inside my control or are they
01:10
outside of my control all of these
01:12
things are very important things to ask
01:14
once he’s told you all of this
01:16
your next step is to ascertain whether
01:18
these problems that are necessitating a
01:21
break for him
01:23
are things that have to be solved from
01:26
without
01:26
the relationship or whether they can be
01:29
solved
01:30
from within the relationship as a team
01:34
as things should if a relationship is
01:36
truly strong
01:37
if it’s truly that relationship that
01:39
we’re going to be in for our lives
01:41
it should be able to withstand difficult
01:43
times it shouldn’t
01:44
require the team to break up for it to
01:47
work
01:47
then you ask do you think that we can
01:50
solve these things by being a team
01:51
together because i am willing to do the
01:53
work
01:54
to make that happen you would have to be
01:57
too but if the both of us commit
01:59
i believe we can get through this do you
02:01
if the answer to that question
02:03
is no i need a break
02:06
part three comes in you say i understand
02:10
you want to break
02:11
but my definition of a break is a
02:13
breakup
02:15
i believe that in a relationship we can
02:16
get through anything together but
02:18
not if your version of getting through
02:20
something means without me in the
02:22
picture that’s not the teammate that i
02:24
want
02:24
and deserve so i understand what you
02:27
feel you need to do and that you’re
02:29
going to go and do that
02:31
but i need to now move on and of course
02:34
the gamble you’re taking which you must
02:36
already know about because otherwise you
02:38
wouldn’t be doing this
02:39
is that i won’t be there when you decide
02:42
you want me but i can’t allow your
02:45
gamble to become my gamble
02:48
my gamble would be staking my time and
02:51
my energy and my life and my future
02:53
on the possibility the hope the fantasy
02:56
that maybe one day
02:58
you’ll come back i’m not prepared to do
03:01
that my life is too precious i love you
03:04
but i love myself and my life more and i
03:06
have to move on now if you want to break
03:08
so
03:09
i understand you want a break but i’m
03:11
going to treat this as a break up
03:13
and move on accordingly f scott
03:16
fitzgerald once wrote
03:17
the girl worth having won’t wait for
03:20
anybody
03:21
make no mistake people will come and go
03:23
in life but your time
03:25
can never be replaced
03:28
guard it like the precious jewel that it
03:32
is
03:32
and if you’re watching this and you
03:33
realize that now that you’re about to
03:36
have this conversation there is real
03:37
heartache
03:38
coming for you i have a free guide on
03:40
how to overcome
03:42
heartbreak you can find it below i’ll
03:44
link it up here
03:45
know that you will be okay know that you
03:48
are enough
03:49
and know that you are loved
03:52
we’ll see you next week
04:13
you
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This post was previously published on YouTube and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.
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Photo credit: Screenshot from video