Home is a weird word. For the past eighteen months, I’ve lived in the Ozarks, 1,500 miles away from my family. My twenty-one-year-old daughter moved back in over the summer, but as she’s either working or locked away in her room, I barely see her.
Home is also where I grew up. In the house my parents bought in 1969 and that my mom still lives in. It’s on the border of LA and the OC (on the OC side), so it’s what I’ve known since I was four. It’s also right next door to where I lived a large part of my life, Long Beach.
Home is also supposedly where the heart is. I think that’s some sort of love thing and as I’m currently very single, that doesn’t apply to me.
This year I spent the holidays holed up in my log cabin, with my family back on the west coast. My daughter worked a lot, including Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, so I was pretty much just chillin’ with my autism service dog, Tye.
There are probably a lot of you that are thinking I’m crazy. That home is always where your family is, but that’s not always the case.
I love my family and my family loves me but they don’t have a great grasp of autism. Of what it is and what it isn’t. There are times we have trouble understanding each other and it generally doesn’t end favorably for me.
I’m told to, “stop it.” As if I can stop and start my Asperger’s at will. After a bit of what I consider to be regular family squabble, it’s generally dropped, but not until I feel smaller than Ant-Man for simply being the way I am.
Again I love my family and my family loves me, but especially with the added stresses of the holidays, family in short bursts may be a good idea.
I think the ultimate answer to what is home for the holidays, is you being happy. Are you happy with where you are and what’s going on around you? If so, then you’re home for the holidays.
Do you enjoy the hustle and bustle of large family gatherings and the ensuing drama? Great. Welcome home.
Prefer to keep it simple, with just those closest to you? That sounds like home to me.
Would you rather make it a more cozy gathering? Say just you and a pet, perhaps? If you’re not depressed that you’re alone, then that sounds like home as well.
Home is really wherever you want it to be. Home isn’t a physical location,. It’s an idea. A feeling. Home is wherever you make it. During the holidays or anytime.
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Photo credit: Photo courtesy Unslpash
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