The Good Men Project

Good Comment of the Day: Cheating in the Genes

You guys like talking about sex.

On Friday, Lu Fong wrote a post about a new study that found a correlation between infidelity and the DNA of those who cheat. The scientists didn’t say whether or not genetics were actually a cause for infidelity, which raises the question of how responsible we actually are for our decisions. Unsurprisingly, it was a question you guys were more than willing to answer.

We got a number of comments, but the best one came from Ingrid Nevin. A former escort, she says infidelity isn’t the problem—the social constraints are. She doesn’t condone cheating—or widespread monogamy:

I agree with the first commenter. I don’t like cheating. But looking at the rates of infidelity, I also don’t believe monogamy is a reasonable choice for the majority of people.

I would like to figure out how we can promote sufficient communication to improve monogamous relationships, and manage expectations and jealousy to promote open relationships when they are needed.

I worked as an escort, and many of my married clients came to me as the last resort after their attempts to improve their relationships weren’t working. … They came to me when the misery of cheating became smaller than the misery of status quo. I think we’d live in a much happier and a peaceful world if sexual release on the side was viewed as a last but normal step, rather than an inconceivable alternative by all participants.

Cheers to Ingrid for contributing to the conversation. And don’t forget to comment. You could be next.

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