23 Best Dad Tweets of This Week

Patiently explaining to my 6 year old about the ‘gh’ in ‘tough’ and the ‘gh’ in ‘through’ and I guess my point is ‘Fuck you, English.”

— John Ross Bowie (@JohnRossBowie) 16 Février 2014

My 3-year-old’s official review of the Olympics: “I like it when they throw the girl.” #FigureSkating #Sochi2014 #WrongMessage

— Potter (@potterradio) 13 Février 2014

While I was in the shower my 3YO retweeted driving conditions for the Twin Cities. #safetyfirst #hecantread

— Luke Stordahl (@LukeStordahl) 21 Février 2014

WANTED: 2 tickets to see prince in Manchester 2nite. I will swap my 3yo son blond very cute can count up to 8 and know shapes.

— John (@sosayweall1) 21 Février 2014

My 3 yo, joyfully: “You look like Bob.” Me: “Bob?” Fear creeps in, “Bob the Tomato?” 3yo: “Yes!” Me: “Time to hit the treadmill.”

— Ben Levendusky (@benlevendusky) 21 Février 2014

3yo: Daddy you have to find rabbit. He’s in there but don’t find him just don’t pretend you’ve not seen him when you find him. It begins.

— Steve Crane/Hansell (@sometallactor) 21 Février 2014

#tbt Driving home 3yo says “shhhh everbody, my foot is sleeping”

— Chad Mandrell (@ChadMandrell) 21 Février 2014

3yo is not feeling well today. Not only does it ruin plans but it breaks your heart also.

— Boss Hoggatt (@hoggatt76) 21 Février 2014

My 3yo daughter is quite possibly the funniest person I know.

— Jordan D (@jordandewald) 21 Février 2014

I just taught my 3yo to say “You’re in Carcosa now!”, so I couldn’t even object if the authorities came to take him from me. #TrueDetective

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) 21 Février 2014

3yo refuses point blank to join in Mini Disco unless I’m completely involved in all songs too I must love her very much that’s all I can say

— Nick King (@Nickking) 20 Février 2014

In toilets adults trying to release trapped child Meanwhile 3yo looking under each locked cubicle door:”Oli not here!” she shouts after each

— Nick King (@Nickking) 20 Février 2014

I’m giving my 3yo a haircut next week. So excited. He says he wants “The Clooney” – anyone know what that is?

— Daddy’sLittleMiracle (@daddyslilmiracl) 20 Février 2014

My 3yo just asked “When can I have a Sky Horse”? Anyone else think expectations are set a little high these days?

— Steven Hamer (@shamer11) 20 Février 2014

Me: “Well, you can’t unpoop a poop.” 4yo (shaking head solemnly): “And you can’t eat it either.” This was our dinner time conversation.

— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) 17 Février 2014

*4yo sitting in Spider-Man costume* Me: You look upset, what’s wrong? 4yo: I’m thinking about bad guys Look out bad guys, he’s in the zone

— Hunter Steele (@FatherWithTwins) 16 Février 2014

4yo “dad, why are you glowing?” Me “must be the plutonium I ate” 4yo “you ate Pluto!” Incase you wondered how random my kids are.

— @tomic (@tomw1984) 16 Février 2014

4yo (running into room, trips, falls onto floor, and then pops back up): “I’m ok!” Me: “That’s good.” 4yo: “The floor high-fived me!”

— Stevan Knapp (@boundiali) 14 Février 2014

So what’s the daily recommended amount of hot & spicy pork rinds to put in a 6yo’s lunch? I can never remember.

— Babies Daddy (@dshack8) 19 Février 2014

My 6yo daughter recently told me that she thought only boys could be superheroes. I got her a present today. @Marvel pic.twitter.com/ZGLh1dTfik

— Ben Plopper (@BenPlopper) 15 Février 2014

I’m pretty sure the key to infinite sustainable energy can be found within the vocal chords of a 6yo.

— Tom the Wicked (@TomTheWicked) 14 Février 2014

6yo has done a picture to hang beside my bed. I look forward to waking up to that in the night. pic.twitter.com/Lws1DpiwbY

— Mark Blackmore (@MrMarkBlackmore) 7 Février 2014

MISSING: Approximately 27 Hot Wheels cars. If found, please call my 2yo. pic.twitter.com/VORF8QKvCS

— ReasonsMySonIsCrying (@ReasonsMySonCry) 10 Février 2014