The Good Men Project

How to Keep the Flame Alive in Quarantine (Matthew Hussey)

Matthew Hussey

 

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I’ve lost count of what week of social distancing we’re in. But I do know that if you’ve been living with someone since quarantine started then you’ve had your ups and downs.

We need space in our relationship for desire to thrive. But how do you create space with someone who is always there?

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, how do you stay exciting to your partner if you’re never absent?

We’ve just made a beautiful new video with some simple, practical ways to approach this situation and avoid making the mistakes that are hurting good relationships…

If space isn’t coming naturally in your relationship, there are ways to engineer it. And this video isn’t just about getting space, it’s about bringing back the moments of magic, and romance, and love.

Even if you’re not living with someone right now, you can use these ideas to make sure your long-distance situation stays vibrant and alive. Your situation may be different, but the psychology is the same.

Thinking of you, friend.

 

Transcript provided by YouTube:

00:00
Matthew did you ever think you would be
00:02
giving relationship advice during a
00:04
global Penta as a number of coronavirus
00:08
cases soars above 3000 elected officials
00:11
taking unprecedented measures to keep
00:13
people safe cafes pubs bars and
00:16
restaurants to close we direct a
00:19
statewide order for people to stay at
00:22
home with people who are in
00:44
relationships who some of whom are being
00:46
driven crazy right now being in the
00:48
house all the time was someone normally
00:50
would go apart and have all these
00:51
different activities apart now they’re
00:54
together if you’re stuck under the same
00:56
roof with someone right now there are
00:57
gonna be times in the middle of the day
00:59
where you’re gonna get sick of them or
01:01
you’re gonna be like oh my god I need my
01:03
space now in order to create desire you
01:06
need to create space and if you live
01:07
under the same roof as someone 24/7
01:09
you’re gonna have to find ways to
01:10
engineer space in the middle of the day
01:12
you can have your day to go and focus on
01:14
the projects that are important to you
01:16
and they can go and focus on the
01:17
projects that are important to them
01:19
your space could be you put in your
01:21
headphones and going into your own world
01:23
now the the flip side to that is you
01:26
also have to go to your partner and
01:29
arrange mindful time together
01:31
dating shouldn’t go out of the window
01:34
just because you’re in the same house
01:35
the whole time be really intentional
01:37
about saying to your partner hey what
01:39
about why don’t we do like a proper
01:41
movie night tonight
01:42
I’m gonna cook you dinner tonight make
01:45
it a beautiful themed movie night turn
01:48
the living room into a theater go get
01:50
groomed go like put on your nice clothes
01:52
like do get dolled up like feel good for
01:55
that date and make an effort go hard on
01:58
the detail details romantic detail shows
02:00
you care detail shows that you have an
02:02
imagination well you could take your
02:04
partner into a world that’s magic you’re
02:06
creating magic
02:07
[Music]
02:15
that’s really important you can’t allow
02:18
working and doing chores and cleaning
02:21
out cupboards and whatever the hell else
02:22
you plant passing your time with you
02:24
can’t allow that to essentially blind
02:27
you to the fact that you’re living under
02:29
the same roof but not actually having
02:31
mind conscious climb together
02:34
[Music]

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This post was previously published on YouTube and is republished here under a Creative Commons license.

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Photo credit: Screenshot from video

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