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I wanted to step outside of the dating conversation for this week’s new video.
Relationship or no relationship, the quality of our lives is the quality of our emotions. And many of us feel plagued by our emotions. Whether it’s depression, anxiety, sadness, shame, guilt, fear… we can find ourselves living in a constant state of suffering.
If you can relate to this, please watch this before you do anything else today…
I’ve had moments in my life where I was scared I’d never feel better, especially if there was a certain negative emotion that I kept returning to no matter what I tried.
It can make us feel hopeless, like we’ll never be happy no matter what we do. If you feel stuck in a place like this, please take a few minutes to hear what I have to say in this video. It’s not some magic pill, it’s a real approach that will relieve the tension you feel inside right now.
Don’t lose hope. We’ve got this. I promise you.
I love you, friend.
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:00
hey guys uh something a bit different
00:02
this week we
00:03
actually took a clip from a live session
00:06
that i did where someone asked me about
00:07
dealing with
00:08
depression and i think this is going to
00:10
be really helpful to a lot of you
00:12
whether you associate with being
00:13
depressed
00:14
or just some kind of chronic pain some
00:16
kind of
00:17
anxiety or even just any kind of
00:19
negative emotion that you feel is
00:21
dominant in your life right now
00:23
and you want to have some mindsets
00:27
that can help you deal with that not
00:29
just overcome but live
00:31
with those feelings i think you’re going
00:34
to take a lot from this so
00:36
check it out leave me a comment let me
00:37
know what you think and i’ll see you
00:38
back here at the end
00:39
well my my says any advice for people
00:42
having
00:43
depression um
00:47
you know depression is an interesting
00:48
word because it has
00:50
it’s a very loaded term right there’s
00:53
people who are feeling depressed uh
00:56
and there’s people that are suffering
00:59
from a
01:00
chronic depression and um
01:05
we have to you know i’m a big believer
01:08
in
01:08
whatever whether you are depressed right
01:11
now or suffering from chronic
01:13
depression which are different right
01:16
because
01:16
chronic depression not only has the
01:20
uh not only has the weight of feeling
01:23
depressed
01:24
but the the exhaustion
01:28
of constantly having been depressed and
01:31
the catastrophic thinking
01:35
that comes from the feeling that i will
01:39
always be depressed
01:40
and that this is something i’m always
01:42
going to
01:43
suffer with and that’s a that’s a really
01:46
scary thing you know it’s one thing to
01:49
it’s one thing to be having a bad day
01:51
and to think oh god i can’t wait till
01:53
this
01:54
day’s over is another thing to think
01:57
this is who i am and therefore i will
02:01
still be feeling this six months from
02:03
now or a year from now
02:04
but i do think that either either way
02:08
we have to recognize that essentially
02:12
the idea that feelings are temporary
02:14
applies on both levels if you’re
02:15
suffering
02:16
from feeling depressed right now because
02:18
of something circumstantial
02:20
in your life then you
02:23
have to at least stand back from that
02:26
and say this is temporary i am depressed
02:28
right now because i’m going through a
02:29
terrible breakup
02:30
this is a this is caused by what i’m
02:34
going through right now and i’m in a
02:35
season and
02:36
and it’s going to get better if we
02:39
suffer from a kind of chronic depression
02:41
in the same way that we can suffer from
02:43
a chronic physical pain
02:45
we have to remind ourselves both with
02:48
chronic emotional pain and chronic
02:50
physical pain that
02:52
this pain does modulate it does change
02:55
right it doesn’t stay the same all the
02:56
time sometimes
02:58
i’m more depressed and sometimes i’m
03:00
less depressed sometimes
03:02
my you know whatever it is that hurts my
03:04
head my shoulder
03:06
you know sometimes it hurts more other
03:09
times it hurts less
03:10
and just in that is a realization
03:15
that if it modulates if it does change
03:19
then we that there’s a level of power in
03:22
that because in my worst moments in my
03:24
catastrophic moments i can still remind
03:26
myself that there are better hours in
03:27
the day
03:28
and i can focus on making more of those
03:31
maybe i make peace with the fact that
03:33
this is something i deal with and it’s
03:34
and it’s going to reoccur but i can if
03:38
i felt better for an hour yesterday then
03:40
my focus should be making more of those
03:42
there’s hope
03:43
in one good hour isn’t there there’s
03:46
hope in
03:47
five good minutes and if i can take that
03:49
and work on expanding that out
03:51
and and pay attention to
03:54
what’s what happened in those five
03:57
minutes where i felt better
03:58
did i exercise did i have a beautiful
04:01
conversation with someone i love
04:03
did i look to the future at something
04:04
i’m excited about
04:06
did i work and spend some meaningful
04:08
time on a
04:09
project that was important to me did i
04:12
just do something for myself or for
04:14
somebody else that made me like myself
04:15
more
04:16
um those things can make us feel very
04:19
empowered
04:20
and can change not they may not make
04:23
the depression go away they may change
04:25
our relationship with it
04:27
and in changing our relationship with it
04:30
uh
04:30
the paradox is that it starts to lessen
04:33
the impact of it um i’m not speaking
04:37
you know i know that there are people
04:39
for whom chemical
04:41
imbalances play a role but that doesn’t
04:43
mean we have no power over those
04:45
situations
04:46
we may be uh fighting a different battle
04:49
than other people but i do believe that
04:51
there are always things that we can do
04:53
to to manage our relationship with
04:56
something and i think in managing our
04:57
relationship effectively with something
04:59
we can
04:59
really develop an incredible amount of
05:02
personal power in that
05:03
and by the way like think about that if
05:05
you’ve got something
05:06
whether it’s depression anxiety whether
05:08
it’s physical pain whether it’s
05:10
a trauma you’re going through in your
05:12
life whether it’s losing your job this
05:14
year whether it’s going through a
05:15
breakup
05:17
think about your difficulty in your
05:19
struggle
05:20
and sometimes we go very insular with
05:22
that i’ve
05:23
done this my god i’ve done this you go
05:25
insular with your pain and
05:27
and you sort of go into that mindset of
05:29
you you isolate
05:31
but i do think that our pain is the key
05:34
to connecting with other people because
05:36
there are other people going through
05:37
tremendously difficult things at the
05:39
same time as us or
05:40
perhaps not right now but they will be
05:42
in a year and all the learning we do now
05:45
all of the strength we build all of the
05:46
muscle we build in dealing with our
05:48
challenge now
05:49
will absolutely benefit someone in our
05:51
lives someone we cross paths with
05:53
at a certain point so um you’re oh
05:57
you you get to be heroic in overcoming
06:00
or not even overcoming just
06:02
managing your pain or what you’re
06:04
dealing with you get to be heroic in
06:06
doing that because then
06:07
the benefit of you managing that will
06:10
could save somebody else
06:11
i’m really glad we got to do something
06:13
like this this week
06:14
because i think in general we’re at this
06:17
stage in the year where
06:19
you know most of the year is over we’ve
06:22
been through so much we’re dealing with
06:24
all sorts of fallout in our lives from
06:26
this year both
06:28
external and internal and i want to just
06:31
make sure that we as a community are
06:33
staying strong
06:35
together i hope that you’ll come back
06:37
and do you know i hope that you come
06:38
back to these videos every week just as
06:40
a
06:41
a shot of good feeling
06:44
practical advice things that could help
06:46
you or just a sense of community and
06:48
that
06:49
you know i love you when you leave
06:50
comments i hope you’re subscribed right
06:52
now to youtube because
06:53
a lot of you watch these videos by
06:55
chance because something pops up on your
06:57
screen but you’re not subscribed so
06:58
please take the opportunity right now to
07:00
subscribe and for those of you that want
07:02
to be
07:03
part of a more intimate community i have
07:06
i
07:06
also have a private community called my
07:09
love life
07:10
membership and there i’m with people
07:12
every month not just helping them with
07:14
their love lives but
07:15
answering questions about life in
07:17
general uh
07:18
creating a real solid sense of community
07:21
every month
07:22
and just giving people coaching you know
07:24
these are videos but there is
07:26
coaching so i if you want to come join
07:28
us on that you can come and
07:30
join for a free trial at askmh.com we’ll
07:34
put a link up here
07:36
and other than that thanks for watching
07:37
i really hope that you feel strong right
07:40
now and if you don’t feel strong know
07:41
that it’s okay
07:42
to not feel strong we’ll work through
07:44
those feelings together
07:45
i love you guys i appreciate you and i
07:47
will see you next week
08:05
you
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This post was previously published on YouTube.
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Photo credit: Screenshot from video