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Perhaps you’ve felt it after someone ghosted you following what you thought was a perfect date . . .
Or after pouring your heart and creativity into a project only to have it ripped to shreds by those you admire most . . .
Or getting laid off from the job you thought you’d retire from . . .
Rejection can come in many forms, but the gut punch feels the same as it shatters your ego.
Ultimately, the history of your rejection has been written, but the legacy of it is for you to decide
The way you craft this legacy can result in some of the most meaningful wins of your life, and in this week’s video, you’ll learn how to make that happen. (Plus I’ll also share an embarrassing story of a lesson I learned whilst recording in Beverly Hills 10 years ago . . .)
P.S. Our final Virtual Retreat of the year is coming up September 24-26. The feedback from our last Virtual Retreat has been nothing short of amazing. And this month only, we’re offering an incredible $100 discount and throwing in three priceless bonuses with your ticket. Don’t wait, head to https://MHVirtualRetreat.com and claim your May special offer.
Transcript provided by YouTube:
00:00
rejection is awful
00:03
it is an incredibly painful experience
00:07
i was a few years ago i think it was
00:10
about 10 years ago now
00:12
making a video i was in the middle of
00:14
beverly hills i remember this very well
00:16
on the little patch of grass in front of
00:18
the beverly hills sign
00:19
and i was shooting a video that was
00:21
about how to get over heartbreak
00:23
i’ve rattled off these three tips for
00:25
getting over your heartbreak
00:27
and at the end of it i noticed that
00:29
there had been a guy
00:30
standing and watching me the entire time
00:33
i made the video
00:35
as soon as it finished he sort of
00:37
sauntered over to me
00:38
and this older gentleman said
00:42
you’ve never had your heart broken have
00:43
you my initial reaction
00:46
firstly was i hate this guy
00:49
anytime you know someone just really
00:51
calls you out on something
00:52
i hated him but the funny thing was he
00:55
called it
00:57
this wasn’t a video made by somebody
01:00
who had truly had their heart crushed
01:03
because anyone who has truly had their
01:06
heart
01:07
crushed doesn’t talk in that tone
01:10
about heartbreak they don’t go hey guys
01:13
it’s matthew hussey here i’m going to
01:14
give you
01:15
three tips to getting over your
01:17
heartbreak
01:18
what happens when you’ve been through
01:20
that is you have a respect
01:23
for just how difficult
01:27
it is to be heartbroken rejection
01:30
has a lot in common with heartbreak
01:34
rejection is the crushing of an ego
01:38
our identity and it can come from many
01:40
different things in our life
01:42
it might come from the end of a
01:43
relationship that wasn’t our choice it
01:45
might come from being terminated from a
01:47
job
01:48
it might come because we’re an artist
01:50
and we created something and poured
01:52
ourselves into that thing
01:54
and then didn’t get the reaction we
01:55
wanted maybe you’re someone who aspires
01:57
to make youtube videos or make content
02:00
online and
02:00
you put out that piece of content that
02:02
you’re really proud of that you thought
02:04
was going to be your way to launch
02:05
yourself
02:06
and then you got comments that made you
02:08
feel really rejected
02:10
and not seen maybe you went on a dating
02:13
app and somebody ghosted you that you
02:15
were talking to
02:16
or maybe you put out your opinion in a
02:19
big way and someone rejected that
02:20
opinion and that felt
02:22
like a much deeper rejection there are
02:24
so many different ways we get rejected
02:25
in life
02:26
but when we truly feel the pain of a
02:29
rejection
02:31
at our core it can feel like a
02:33
fracturing
02:34
of our confidence of what we believe
02:37
we’re worth
02:38
of who we think we are in this life
02:41
because
02:42
at the end of rejection through the
02:46
catastrophizing
02:47
that our minds do we arrive at this
02:50
terrible destination of i
02:53
am worthless so this video
02:57
is not going to be three tips
03:00
for getting over your rejection in this
03:03
video
03:04
i want to talk to you about two crucial
03:07
phases in your rejection and in the life
03:11
cycle
03:12
of the emotions you feel when you get
03:15
rejected
03:16
and how you can use them wisely
03:20
the first phase deep unbearable
03:23
pain now this is a phase where it feels
03:26
like
03:27
you can’t get anything done where it
03:29
feels like other parts of your life are
03:31
slipping because you can’t
03:32
focus you can’t get it together it’s a
03:35
phase where you’re prone to acting
03:37
out because you’re in heightened states
03:39
of emotion
03:40
so you’re liable to say the wrong thing
03:43
to do the wrong thing
03:44
to make erratic irrational decisions
03:47
burn relationships burn bridges this is
03:50
a time
03:51
where the potential for the negative
03:54
externalities of your rejection
03:57
are incredibly high so i’m not gonna
04:00
tell you
04:01
how to transform your life in phase one
04:04
phase one is survival let me please god
04:07
let me get through this
04:09
and when we’re feeling that we wanna
04:12
limit the damage we could do when we’re
04:15
in that place because
04:16
when we begin to heal we don’t want to
04:18
wake up
04:20
to a life with a whole bunch of problems
04:23
created by our reaction to our pain
04:25
when it was at its worst so i think of
04:28
this as
04:28
limiting the downside of the rejection
04:30
anytime you find yourself about to send
04:32
a text or make a phone call
04:34
or make a decision in this moment that
04:38
could be damaging
04:39
say to yourself i’m gonna delay my
04:42
reaction
04:43
until i can trust the person who’s
04:46
reacting to make the right decision
04:49
if i still want to do that thing in a
04:51
month or send that text in a month or in
04:53
a week or whenever
04:55
if i still want to do that thing if it
04:56
still feels like a good idea
04:58
fine i can do it but i’m not gonna do it
05:02
now and i guarantee nine times out of
05:05
ten
05:05
with a little thought and a little
05:07
clarity you will thank yourself
05:10
that you didn’t act out in the ways that
05:12
your emotions told you to
05:14
when they were at their most despairing
05:17
the second
05:18
phase is when you actually are able to
05:21
create
05:22
a little space between you and the
05:25
rejection
05:25
doesn’t mean it’s not hurting at that
05:27
point doesn’t mean it doesn’t still feel
05:29
like a deep wound
05:31
that you’re over it rejection is a kind
05:32
of trauma at its worst
05:34
but you can get to a point
05:38
where it’s a little less raw and there’s
05:41
just
05:41
enough space to create
05:45
some perception around it
05:48
to decide what the meaning of the
05:52
rejection
05:53
is and i think of this as finding your
05:55
leverage my dad taught me this you know
05:58
every time something terrible would
05:59
happen in my life
06:00
any time there would be something that
06:02
was so
06:05
unbelievably disappointing or
06:07
devastating
06:08
my dad would tell me matt there’s
06:11
leverage
06:12
in everything that happens there are
06:14
things that have happened in my life
06:16
whether they’ve happened to me or their
06:18
self-imposed mistakes and pain
06:20
those moments have created incredible
06:23
leverage for me
06:24
in the form of my coaching because
06:27
the reason that you’re hearing from me
06:31
with a different tone on this subject
06:34
than the me from 10 years ago who gave
06:36
three tips to overcome your pain and
06:38
heartbreak
06:40
is because of the pain that i’ve
06:41
actually experienced since
06:44
so you get a different me now i get to
06:47
be a more
06:48
powerful me i get to be a bme that
06:50
connects more that inspires more that’s
06:52
able to reach more people
06:54
truly reach their hearts because of that
06:56
pain
06:57
that’s leverage if you worked really
07:00
hard on something for your work
07:03
or for a passion project and it didn’t
07:05
go well
07:06
you got rejected you didn’t get the
07:08
response that you’d hoped
07:10
what’s the leverage think about it for a
07:13
moment what’s the leverage sometimes the
07:14
leverage is i’ll show them
07:17
you know someone points out a weakness
07:19
in it and someone pointing out the
07:21
weakness
07:22
makes you develop a strength in that
07:24
area that’s 10
07:25
times better and more resilient than it
07:28
otherwise would have been i’ve been on
07:30
tv shows before where someone has
07:32
exposed a lack of knowledge i have in an
07:33
area and that exposure
07:36
made me go home and read three books on
07:38
that subject so i was never in that
07:40
situation again
07:41
so now i have a well of knowledge that’s
07:43
a result of being exposed
07:46
right but i never would have read those
07:48
three books if i didn’t get exposed in
07:50
that way we can call it rejection
07:52
but it was this amazing light that got
07:55
shot on something that could be better
07:57
you could be on a dating app and
07:58
experience the rejection of someone
07:59
ghosting you
08:00
and that rejection can be the thing that
08:02
makes you say you know what i’m going to
08:03
speak to five more people on here
08:05
so that this person becomes irrelevant
08:07
that’s the leverage
08:09
this is going to give me a fire in my
08:10
belly to go and find someone who’s
08:12
actually what i want
08:14
see rejection is just energy that’s all
08:16
it is rejection is energy
08:18
and that energy can be parlayed into
08:21
anything that’s important to us in life
08:23
we have to find the leverage and the
08:27
leverage becomes the legacy
08:29
all right the history of your rejection
08:32
has already been written
08:34
right you it happened that’s the history
08:36
that’s the historic part it whatever it
08:38
was
08:38
it happened but the legacy of it
08:43
is for us to decide we get to decide
08:47
where the energy of that rejection goes
08:49
and what it creates in our life
08:51
than never would have existed if it
08:53
wasn’t for that rejection
08:55
whether it’s a standard a new standard
08:58
whether it’s a resilience whether it’s
09:01
an actual thing that we create in our
09:03
life as a result of that rejection
09:04
whether it’s time spent on something
09:06
more important than the thing we were
09:08
spending time on
09:09
or whether it’s just getting better at
09:10
that very thing getting rejected and
09:12
saying to yourself you know what
09:15
i’m gonna get a fire in my belly and i’m
09:17
gonna show whoever this
09:19
is or whatever this is that i can do
09:21
this thing and i’m going to get 10 times
09:22
better at it
09:23
because of this rejection not in spite
09:25
of it
09:27
the leverage becomes the legacy and it’s
09:30
in
09:30
crafting the legacy of our rejections
09:33
that our life
09:34
becomes really really interesting to me
09:38
that’s where the opportunities are
09:41
if by the way you’d like to do this with
09:43
me
09:44
in september i have a virtual retreat
09:46
coming up from the 24th to the 26th
09:48
it’s the final virtual retreat of the
09:50
year for the
09:51
unacquainted among you this is my
09:54
flagship event it’s three days of
09:56
immersive coaching
09:57
where i walk people through the
09:59
blueprint for creating the life they
10:01
want and part of that of course
10:03
is rewriting the legacy of your pain
10:05
your rejections the things that
10:07
you’ve struggled with in your life and
10:09
turning them into the treasures
10:11
of your future we’re going to be doing
10:13
that together so if you’re watching this
10:14
video and you’re fired up and you want
10:16
to do this
10:17
the virtual retreat is the practical
10:19
application of this
10:21
i’m going to leave a link here it’s at
10:23
mhvirtualretreat.com
10:25
it’s in september but get your ticket
10:27
now why because it’s 100
10:29
off until the end of the month but only
10:31
until the end of the month and that’s
10:32
the best price it’s going to be for the
10:33
rest of the year so you may as well take
10:35
advantage now
10:36
and then it’s in the diary and it’s
10:38
booked so you know your growth is taken
10:40
care of this year
10:41
you’ll also find out when you get to
10:42
that page mhvirtualretreat.com that
10:45
there’s a couple of other bonuses
10:46
that are only available until the end of
10:48
the month so go check that out
10:50
i sincerely hope you come and join me
10:52
there it’s the best work that we do in
10:53
my company
10:54
and it’s transformative beyond anything
10:57
else i do with people
10:59
other than that leave me a comment on
11:01
this video let me know here’s
11:02
here’s the comment i’d love you to leave
11:04
me what is
11:06
the thing that you feel is holding you
11:09
back
11:09
from being the most confident version of
11:11
yourself maybe it’s an inadequacy you
11:13
feel
11:14
maybe it’s something you feel you’re
11:15
lacking maybe it’s uh trauma something
11:17
that happened to you
11:19
something you’ve experienced in your
11:20
life or something you never had
11:22
but you feel it’s preventing you from
11:24
being as confident as you can be in life
11:27
let me know what that is in the comments
11:28
because next week i want to talk about
11:30
those comments i will see you then
11:49
you
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This post was previously published on YouTube.
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Photo credit: Screenshot from video