Proof You’re Simply Too Iconic

Showing a guy you’re interested can feel really hard sometimes. After all, you don’t want to be vulnerable or too forward, but you still want to show some dominance, because, let’s be real. Some guys won’t say out loud what behaviors they find the most irresistibly compelling when it comes to women.

Yet, all is not lost because a pair of flirting studies found that “having good non-verbal behavior, being intelligent, and having a gentle approach, were rated as the most important factors.” So, here are some ways to highlight the subtle behaviors that create an attraction that goes far beyond surface-level chemistry.

Experts say these behaviors make women irresistibly compelling to men:

1. Cross and uncross your legs

If you’re sitting down, cross and uncross your legs to flirt. It’s most effective when he notices as you seductively move your legs. “Make sure you’re not uptight or anxious, or you’ll come off awkward,” cautioned relationship coach Amy Schoen. “In each interaction, there is intention, a goal leading to something potentially more permanent. You need a casual attitude about this. It’s like going fishing. You’re just putting the bait out there and seeing if your person of interest is willing to take it.”

2. Draw attention to your lips

If you want him to kiss you, draw attention to your lips. Lick them, touch them, or just wear a flattering lipstick. As long as you subtly emphasize your lips, he’ll naturally start looking at them more and pucker up. Marriage coaches Susie and Otto Collins suggested, “Make sure to smile softly and warmly, too. Non-verbal cues can be confusing. So make sure you are feeling on the inside what you want to convey on the outside. This makes a big difference.”

3. Play with your hair

Don’t twirl your hair or push it back, because that’ll make your roots greasy. Just brush it down, tuck it behind your ear, or fan it behind your shoulders. Also, don’t focus on your scalp; that may look like you’re scratching your head, and nobody wants to deal with dandruff.

Dating coach Dina Colada ups the game, “If you have pesky hair tickling your face, don’t just swat it off. Make your movements deliberate and slow. I promise your man will appreciate the movement of your hand across your cheek behind your ear and down the back of your neck. His eyes will be watching your lingering movements like a hawk. When you touch yourself, imagine it’s his hands, and don’t forget to give him that “come hither” look while you do it.”

4. Wear perfume on the back of your neck

Whether you walk by him, play with your hair, or reach in for a hug, he’ll definitely smell your perfume. Everybody knows that scent can affect someone’s emotions, so spray a little extra back there and give him a reminder of how nice you smell. Research on perfume, body odor, and attraction showed how perfumes and other fragrances can significantly impact the outcome of social encounters.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.