12 Phrases That Secretly Mean “I Love You”

You might have heard the expression Actions speak louder than words.

But what happens when words even speak louder than words? When people may be too afraid to say something direct — like “I love you” — so their everyday language reveals their feelings instead?

The truth is, this happens a lot. People usually know they’re in love and start expressing their love way before they ever confess it to their partner. When you partner first tells you that they love you, or when you say it to them, chances are you’ve both known for a while. You’ve just been looking for just the right moment to finally make it official.

That’s why it can be fun and sweet to seek out these more subtle expressions of love, and explore all of the things that people say on the daily that might reveal their true feelings. In fact, you can probably relate to some of these things yourself. There’s a lot of things we wouldn’t say unless we genuinely cared about a person — but we just don’t realize the underlying message behind what we’re saying.

These phrases aren’t just for soulmate, star-crossed lover romance, either. You can spot these subtleties in the words of your family members or close friends, too.

Here are 12 examples.

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1. “This reminded me of you”

If someone mentions something or brings you something and tells you that it reminded them of you, then you can be pretty certain they love you. You’re on someone’s mind for a reason — it means they care. And the fact that they even thought to mention it to you is also a testament to your closeness, and how much they want to be able to express their feelings to you.

2. “How was your day today?”

Asking this question signals a concern for your well-being and shows that they’re interested in knowing about your life. Of course, not all utterances of this phrase are genuine — people say this all the time in work meetings without any regard to the answer. But if your person says this to you and actually pauses to listen (and bonus points if they follow up with another question or response!), you can be pretty sure that they really do care.

3. “I don’t know what I’d do without you”

Although this phrase is *sometimes* an exaggeration, people say it for a reason. They’re either very grateful for something you’ve done for them, or they feel that you add a lot of light and wonder to their life (honestly, it’s probably a mix of both). If someone says this to you, don’t pay attention to how hyperbolic it is. Just know that they truly do appreciate and love your company, and they’re really glad to know you.

4. “What are you in the mood for?”

(Or any variation of this phrase, like, “What do you want to do tonight?” or, “Where do you want to eat?”.) This shows concern for your preferences and reflects their desire to prioritize you and make sure your needs and wants are being met. Someone who doesn’t care about you would pay very little mind to what you want and instead act on their own desires. If they offer room for your input, you know they genuinely care.

5. “I thought of you when…”

Kind of like when they say, “This reminded me of you,” this phrase really shows that you’re on their mind. It also shows that they are sensitive to your personality, your likes and dislikes, all that kind of stuff. They wouldn’t be able to “think of you” if there was no connection. For example, if someone says, “I thought of you when I overheard someone make a pun joke”, it means that they know you like puns, and they simultaneously put two and two together, and you were the first person who came to mind. And then they made it even better by telling you about it later — subtly letting you know that you’re on their mind.

6. “We’ll get through this together”

This is most often said in difficult situations, especially when one person is more anxious and the other person is trying to reassure them. If someone says this to you, it means that they’re prepared to tackle any hardships with you. It means that they want to be beside you through thick and thin, and that they’re in it for the long haul — they’re not just sticking around for the fun parts and running when it gets hard. That’s a true indication of their love for you. And emphasis on the “together” — they see you two as a team, and they won’t leave you behind.

7. “Text me when you’re home” or “Did you get home safe?”

Again, this shows concern for your well-being and safety. They want to make sure that you are healthy and secure, and not only will they be thinking about it, but they actively want you to check in with them to ensure it. They’ll be waiting for that message from you that lets them know. And especially when they say “Did you get home safe?”, they are saying this after the fact — which means they’ve been thinking about you since you left and they want to check up because it’s important to them that you’re OK.

8. “I’ll wait for you”

This is one of the purest ways to say I love you. It means that they value you, and they want to make sure that you don’t feel left behind. They probably just prefer to do things by your side — they don’t mind waiting, and they wouldn’t want to put the burden on you to catch up. When everyone else leaves or gets in a rush, they won’t budge. They are here for you, always. And that’s pretty cool.

9. “How can I help?”

This is especially for when you’re going through the rough times and they’re right there, ready to support you. This person knows that life can be brutal, and they are here for you. They want to help you navigate whatever storm you’re weathering and support you through it all. They’re not even giving you a choice — they’re not asking if there’s anything they can do to help, they are giving you space to request whatever it is they can do to be here for you. If you have someone like this in your life, just know how lucky you are, and know that they wouldn’t be offering this if they didn’t love you from the bottom of their heart.

10. “Are you okay?”

This is another one of those things that can sometimes be said absent-mindedly, when someone feels obligated to check in. But if they are saying this genuinely and they listen to your response, then you are important to them. They want to know what’s going on with you, see if you are all right, and explore whether there is anything they can do to help you through what you are facing.

People who check in with you frequently like this are the ones who are attentive to your body language and words, and who are able to sense your feelings. It took time for them to be able to develop this ability, and they wouldn’t be able to sense it — or have the wherewithal to check in about it — if they weren’t invested in you.

11. “I believe in you”

If someone tells you they believe in you, you should feel confident that they mean it. This person probably knows that you have everything you need to succeed and achieve all of your goals. They know your strengths and all of the things that make you you. They know that the world needs you in it, and that you will make a difference. Saying “I believe in you” is so much deeper than just those simple words. Between the lines, they are saying so much more. They have faith even when you may not. They will be your cheerleader even on your tougher days. Trust them.

12. “I love your laugh”

I saved the best for last. Personally, I think this is one of the sweetest, most wholesome things that someone can say. It is so simple and so meaningful at the same time. I had a love interest a long while back who once told me, “You’re so pretty when you laugh,” and it’s one of the best compliments I’ve ever received — it’s stuck with me every day since.

There’s a lot that makes this phrase special. It means that they adore you in your natural state, when you’re not trying to pretend or act a certain way for someone else’s view. It means that they have seen you laughing, that they probably often watch you laugh. That they like seeing you happy and at ease. That they find you beautiful in the most authentic moments. That’s a lovely feeling.

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There it is — 12 simple phrases that reveal love without actually saying it. These phrases are so common, so seamlessly incorporated into conversation, that we barely recognize how powerful and meaningful they really are.

Like I said, this isn’t exclusive to romantic partners, either. Anyone can express love through subtle words.

There’s something extra-special about realizing that someone in your life is confessing their love without directly doing so. In my opinion, it can sometimes mean more than saying “I love you” itself. Mostly because these words and actions are so authentically built into their lives — like we are all loving each other fiercely without hesitation, without all of the bells and whistles, without the big declarations. It’s the little things that truly count so much.

The funny thing is, too, that I’ve probably only touched the surface. There are countless other phrases that mean “I love you” — way more than just 12. It’s often unique for every person, too. We all have our own personalities and experiences that offer the foundation for these innocent expressions of love. I’d love to hear more about what others think and how they have felt loved, without anyone saying it in so many words.

If there’s anything we can learn from this, it’s that love is everywhere. Even in the simple places, the dark places, the unexpected places. We have love to lean on in so many ways. I can’t wait to continue cherishing the moments in my life when I feel loved, and to say more of these things in my daily life to make others feel it, too.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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