Undercover at a Christian Gay-to-Straight Conversion Camp

Ted Cox took on the identity of a closeted Mormon for a weekend of crying, singing, and wrestling. It was the first time he felt another man’s erection.

I don’t remember exactly when I felt his erection pressing into my back. It might have been while he whispered in my ear, “Long ago, you were the Golden Child. But somehow, that Golden Child was hurt, and you put up a wall to protect yourself.” Or it might have been when other men in the room broke out in song:

How could anyone ever tell you
That you’re anything less than beautiful?
How could anyone ever tell you
That you’re less than whole?

I sat on the floor between the outstretched legs of a camp guide, my head leaning back against his shoulder. The guide sat behind me, his arms wrapped around my chest. This hold was called the “Motorcycle.” Five men surrounded the two of us, their hands resting gently on my arms, legs, and chest.

There were about 10 other groups like this sitting on the floor in the darkened room. One guide gave “healing touch therapy” while the surrounding men rested their hands on the receiver. Some men were held in the Motorcycle position. Others were turned toward their guide, cradled the way a parent would hold a child who had just scraped her knee on the sidewalk.

In one corner of the room, a portable stereo played Shaina Noll’s song. At one point, the staff members all sang out in unison, their voices filling the high walls of the camp lodge. Somewhere in the room, a man sobbed over the sound of the music.

It was the first night of “Journey into Manhood,” or JiM, a 48-hour weekend retreat designed to help gay men become straight. In that room, about fifty men—some 30 “Journeyers” and 15 staff members—sat on the carpeted floor of a ranch lodge two hours outside of Phoenix, Arizona. Most of the men, except for a few of the staff members, struggled to overcome their attraction to other men.

Sometime during all that holding and touching and singing, while I was cradled in the Motorcycle position, I felt it: the unmistakable bulge pressing through his tight jeans. It was the first time in my life I had a felt another man’s erection.

♦◊♦

What the staff members and other Journeyers didn’t know was that I was attending the weekend undercover. I’m straight. I’m also an atheist. By that February evening, I had been undercover in the so-called “ex-gay” movement for just over a year. Before signing up for the $650 JiM weekend, I had attended weekly support-group meetings and weekend conferences geared toward Christian men and women desperately trying to overcome their same-sex attractions. I am currently writing a book about my experiences posing as a same-sex-attracted Christian man—“SSA man,” in the lingo.

My motivation for undertaking this wild project stems from several factors. First, I was raised in the Mormon church, which has taken the lead against equal marriage rights for gays and lesbians. It’s been 10 years since I left Mormonism, and I feel a particular need to stand up against the church’s well-funded opposition to marriage equality. (I wonder what Mormonism’s polygamous founder, Joseph Smith, Jr., and his successor, Brigham Young, would say about the “Marriage = 1 Man + 1 Woman” bumper stickers slapped on so many Mormon minivans.)

Second, while the ex-gay movement has publicly declared they can bring “freedom from homosexuality,” there’s no evidence that someone can change his or her orientation through these religiously motivated programs. Rather than turning straight, the men and women I met throughout this project dealt with a cycle of repression, backsliding into sin, then shame, guilt, and repentance. These programs collect hundreds of thousands of dollars each year on a promise they can’t deliver.

Third, these programs are dangerous. Ex-gay watchdog groups document the stories of men who, after years of failed attempts to become straight, resort to suicide. Later I’ll introduce you to Eric, a fellow JiM attendee who would hook up with men on Craigslist and then go home to his unsuspecting wife. For many men in ex-gay programs, often their wives, friends, family, and church members have no idea they struggle with SSA.

What I saw and experienced at JiM both enraged and disturbed me. I had trouble staying in character as I watched one man, as part of his therapy, act out beating his father to death with a baseball bat—just one of several “Are you kidding?” moments. How anyone could believe that a JiM weekend could turn a man straight still baffles me.

To be fair, I had several positive experiences that weekend. I saw several men, some for the first time in their lives, lose the anxiety they felt about their sexual orientation. Up until that weekend, some of them had never told anyone about their struggle with SSA. In the course of the retreat, they would relax around other men who struggled the same way they did.

♦◊♦

Journey into Manhood cofounder and “Certified Life Coach” Rich Wyler goes to great lengths to keep his techniques hidden from public scrutiny. Only after I had booked my non-refundable flight and paid the non-refundable retreat deposit was I informed that all Journeyers are required to sign a confidentiality agreement. Last year, when I attempted to write an article for Salt Lake City Weekly to run the week that Journey into Manhood arrived in Salt Lake City, Wyler complained to the paper, citing the confidentiality agreement I signed.

While the article idea I pitched to SLC Weekly would discuss only publicly available information about Wyler and Journey into Manhood, SLC Weekly—citing insufficient time to run the piece past their legal department—pulled the article and interviewed me instead.

After that interview, I discussed the confidentiality agreement with attorneys, editors, journalists, and gay-rights activists. As a result of those discussions, I have decided to discuss in detail several aspects of the JiM weekend. The decision was not easy. But given what I experienced, the pain many of these men feel, and the money Wyler’s organization takes from them, I feel obligated to speak out.

The Friday morning of the retreat, I double-checked my bags to make sure I didn’t pack anything that might divulge my true identity or my secular tendencies. Stricken from the usual weekend-getaway packing list were my iPod (for the Rage Against the Machine and Immortal Technique albums), and my current reading list (Karen Armstrong’s The Bible: A Biography and Tom Wolfe’s The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test).

Before flying out of my hometown of Sacramento, I sent the camp location and phone number to a handful of friends. I told them that if they didn’t hear from me by Sunday night, they should contact the authorities. I did fear a bit for my safety: I worried what would happen if I was, well, outed.

The flight stopped over at LAX, where a blinking cockpit light forced passengers to switch planes. So by the time I touched down in Phoenix, I was almost an hour late. I rushed through the baggage claim looking for Robert, my carpool driver.

In the days leading up to the retreat, PCC (“People Can Change,” the sponsor) arranged for men driving from close locations or arriving at the airport at close times to ride together to camp. Since I had paid almost $900 in camp fees and airfare, my wallet was happy to avoid renting a car for the weekend.

♦◊♦

I’m riding with three other men. Two of them sit in those slouchy leather airport chairs. The third guy’s plane should touch down soon.

Robert is a quiet, pudgy, middle-aged man from California. He’s married with children, has attended ex-gay programs for several years, and signed up for JiM (“Journey into Manhood”) on the recommendation of one of his ministry leaders.

Dave is a young father from Texas. He’s a lifelong Mormon and works a corporate job. Before attending JiM, he took part in the controversial “New Warrior Training Adventure” weekend.

Tony finally de-planes. As we climb into Robert’s rental car, Tony shares his story: he’s single, in his 30s, and hails from Texas, where he works as a biologist. He tells us that this is his second time attending JiM. I’m surprised: doesn’t the effectiveness of the JiM weekend depend on our not knowing what happens beforehand? Isn’t that the reason we have to keep JiM techniques secret?

I prod Tony to divulge information about what to expect, but he won’t budge. Plus, he attended a few years ago, and he thinks the program may have changed since then.

As the city gives way to dry rolling desert hills, we talk about our lives.

Dave talks about life with his boys. Robert and his wife have been struggling financially, but they seem to be doing OK. Tony loves his work in the science field.

For the most part, I dodge the group’s questions. But when pressed, I try to answer their questions with as much truth as possible.

I use the same cover story since I began attending ex-gay programs: From a young age, I was attracted to other guys (false); I was raised in the Mormon church (true), and served a mission (true); I married in my early 20s (true), but the marriage fell apart (true) after I fell in love with my best friend, Brian (false). After my younger brother’s suicide in 2003 (true), I reevaluated my life (true) and had a religious reconversion (false). I recently joined ex-gay ministries in 2007 (true), even though I still haven’t found a new faith (false).

Yes, I’m lying to them. And I feel horrible for it. It doesn’t help that from our long conversation during the ride to camp, I learn that these guys are good men, the kind of people you hope to have as neighbors.

♦◊♦

The mood in the car grows tense with anticipation as we travel the last few twisty miles to the white ranch gates. Outside the window, the desert stretches out in all directions. We’re in the middle of nowhere.

As Robert pulls the car into the dirt parking lot, I panic. What happens if my cover is blown? Or if I decide I want to leave the weekend early? The carpool saved me some cash, but on the other hand, I can’t really leave unless Robert drives me out. Or would I have to walk the dusty dirt road to the highway? And then what? Hitchhike back to the airport?

It feels like no matter what happens, I’m stuck here for the weekend.

Robert shuts off the engine. Per the instructions PCC emailed us before the weekend, I collect everyone’s cellphones and close them up in the glove compartment. There will be no contact with the outside world until Sunday afternoon.

The four of us step out of the car and pull our bags out of the trunk.

Then things get real weird, real fast.

Continued on page 2 …

Pages: 1 2 3

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About Ted Cox

Ted Cox has never been to a Turkish prison. He hates bad beer and writing bios in the third-person. Follow his writing and speaking gigs on iheartcox.com.

Comments

  1. I wish this account had been published when I was sixteen, living in Texas and attending private high schools; it would’ve saved me a lot of grief. Fortunately, I’ve never had to experience a conversion camp. Even more fortunately, I moved to California my senior year.

    Well done.

  2. Excellent article. I think the people leaving the negative articles fail to understand the reality of homosexuality. That it is normal and that there is nothing “wrong” with you. Great job very insightful.

  3. Anonymous Male says:

    This camp program sounds like techniques developed for one kind of group therapy but repackaged for an entirely different kind of group work. The “confront the father” role play is something that many psychologists (of varying reputations) have used with men and women to deal with painful issues from childhood, especially abuse by parents or other family members. It seems a bit odd to use these techniques to try to “cure” a man of homosexuality. I bet these techniques could be very useful and very meaningful for dealing with some kinds of deep issues, but I can’t see how they would change someone’s sexual orientation.

    I just find it hard to believe that people become a particular sexual orientation primarily because of a particular childhood experience. If that’s the case I must have become a hetero male because I had a lousy mother and a wonderful father. My attraction to women is because deep down I just want a mommy’s love? My decades-long enjoyment of vaginal intercourse is a deep-seated need to return to the womb, maybe?

    I think it’s crazy and twisted and probably impossible to change someone’s sexual orientation, but assuming this is a perfectly valid use for group therapy, this camp seems totally counterproductive for reaching that goal. Getting gay men to become straight by having them look into each others’ eyes, wrestle, share their feelings, and hold each other? If I wanted to be converted away from being a heterosexual man, then sending me to a camp run by horny repressed women seems like a bad idea.

  4. Great Idea says:

    Wow, this camp thing sounds like an evangelical gold mine. It has a lot of the markings of good old-fashioned cult-building techniques, including “love bombing.” Men actually pay to try to stop being gay, they take part in activities that intimately join them with other gay men without curing them, and then the camp suggests they keep in touch and pay to do it all over again. In the meantime, the people you pay become surrogate brothers and fathers, which I believe is called “transference” in therapy circles. You play up men’s confusion and guilt and anger and desperation, attach it to the general social question of what exactly masculinity means, and bingo, you have a money-making church loyalty farm. And hey, if the men don’t get all the answers they need or they aren’t cured, well it’s their own fault, or else they need a refresher course for $_______ a pop. Flipping brilliant.

  5. badleroybrown8 says:

    Very interesting article … these are crazy times that we are living in.

  6. I have mixed feelings about this story. On the one hand, I share Ted’s skepticism that a weekend of healing emotional wounds from childhood would convert a homosexual man into a heterosexual. But most homosexual men I know do seem very out of touch with their “masculine energy”, for want of a better term, and I can’t help but wonder what would happen if they got to experience the warrior inside themselves.

    But my biggest problem with this article is it’s lack of objectivity. Ted clearly set out to expose what he sees as an evil enterprise, and this seems to have colored his whole involvement in what could have been a powerful healing experience, leading to a much more interesting and authentic article. Touch exercises, re-writing of painful childhood narratives, authentic bonding with fellow men, and primal therapy are all powerful methods of emotional healing; yet they get ridiculed in this piece while the author completely avoids delving into his own father issues by retaining a cynical detachment. No wonder Dave was disappointed in Ted at the end; Ted’s biggest crime isn’t that he lied for the story or broke the confidentiality agreement, it’s that he remained detached and refused to make himself emotionally vulnerable to the other men there.

    I’m an atheist too, and like Ted I deplore efforts to “fix” homosexuals by people with a religious agenda that says homosexuality is somehow wrong or unnatural. But this isn’t great research or compelling writing in my book. Any journalist can cook up a hatchet-job report on something from an emotional distance. Try getting emotionally involved yourself and telling _that_ story next time Ted; it’s likely to be much more powerful for you and compelling for the reader.

    Cheers,
    Graham

  7. wow i cant believe this says:

    i cant believe you people you all think you are all better then gay people and think u can just “cure” them by sending them here. well your wrong u cant and its not a choice to be gay. they were born that way. all of u just GROW THE FRICK UP i cant belive u people think ur right well i got news for u guys… UR FRICKIN’ WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • Dude, it’s the person who is going there’s choice. They can choose to leave of they want. No one is forcing them to be there except for them. They want to change their lives, not anyone’s choice but theirs.

  8. Matt Casto says:

    That is a bomb and my opinion is that weapons don’t heal anything; they just hurt everyone. If this is true it qualifies as something best held to self. I did not get any value out of this banter. Sorry

  9. I have so many friends who have gone through and who encourage JiM retreats, but what you describe here, Ted, sounds positively harmful.

    I mean, when do we stop and wonder, are we just CREATING issues with our parents, to try and blame someone for our orientation? when maybe we should just blame God and get on with it.

    I used to wish they had a JiM for women, but now I’m thanking God that if such a thing existed, I never found it. Plus I was too broke to go and submit myself to NARTH treatment, which I did seriously consider for a while.

    thank GOD that is all behind me :)

  10. There seem to be a lot of Mormons in the comments…

  11. Stephen Starr says:

    Mr. Cox’s under cover, investigative story is compelling and I’m glad to expose such attempts at changing gay men’s sexual orientation. It’s obvious from his story that there are still many gay/bisexual men making the choice to marry and live as though they were straight. As a gay man, I am delighted to have allies like Mr. Cox. Ultimately, though, I think gay people will need to be the ones who speak the truth of their stories so that others can fully appreciate the experience of living in a primarily heterosexual culture. It’s not unlike the feminist movement that has become richer and more fully mature by courageous women who have spoken out to explain their pain and frustration in their quest to become full participants in our life together.

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  13. Vyanni Krace says:

    Its reassuring to know that the gay community has this sort of support.

  14. David May says:

    I asked a friend, a clinical psychologist, what the statistics were regarding the rate of suicide among participants in conversion therapy and, ex-gay ministries. He said that he had never seen hard numbers, but from anecdotal information, assumed it very high. One wonders how forthcoming JiM, Exodus, et cetera, would be with such statistics.

  15. David May says:

    It’s also amusing to note that Mr. Cohen, author of the Healing Touch, pretty much made an idiot of himself on The Daily Show some years ago. As the commenter put: it: “He’s not a doctor but at least he used to be Jewish.”

    • Actually is last name “Cohen” indicates that somewhere along the road, he came from a family of high priest in Ancient Biblical times of Judaism. That really struck me while reading his name. Sigh.

  16. John Lace says:

    I am a member of the ManKind Project an gave grat respect for that organization. I am appalled that this organization is perverting the useful tools of the New Warrior Training Adventure in such a way. The key difference is that the NWTA has the goal of helping men to self actualize, not to be indoctrinated. Even if you think the role playing is BS, at the NWTA, the leaders are trained and conscious about keeping their agendas and biases out of a trainees individual growth work. And yes as a straight man I am comfortable being emotionally intimate with other men, be they GLBT or straight. It boils down to loving people as they are.

  17. I may be missing something in this article…but is there anywhere here in this article where the Journeymen “leaders” tell these hurting men to FORGIVE their fathers? Genuine evangelical Christian leaders I’ve heard who discuss therapy that only includes trying to satiate your anger by venting it say such therapy never works. It’s almost like the principle of addiction…you can NEVER get enough booze, enough drugs, enough illicit sex, enough gambling. Likewise, you can NEVER get to the point where your anger will empty just by attempting to hurt something or somebody in response to it.

    It’s very noteworthy to contemplate that some of the relatives of the victims of Jeffrey Dahmer actually FORGAVE Mr. Dahmer, publicly, in court. Lest those born after 1990 be reading this, Mr. Dahmer did unspeakable things to gay men he encountered, yet also may be in Heaven with Jesus now. (And there’s no doubt in my mind that only the love of almighty Jesus could have influenced these relatives to have forgiven the man who killed their sons, brothers, etc. in vile ways. When you hear of Jesus being described as “meek”, that word does not mean “cowering”. Rather, the translation in scripture means “Power under control”, like the wind that powers a sailboat (that could in other circumstances collect to form an EF-5 twister) or an army under control of its commanders, or a “broken” (trained) horse.

    (Jesus, amazingly, died to save people even like Hitler, who, amazingly, is no worse than any of us, unrepentant…and Dahmer, who many would say was among the “worst” of us, apparently genuinely gave his life to Jesus in prison, knowing that jailhouse conversion or not he’d never be paroled out of the Wisconsin penal system)

    • I am a Christian woman eating up this story because I am very interested in the lives of all people and how their struggles affect them. I can’t specifically relate to gay / straight issues. But I can relate to having a parent who wounds you very deeply. And the very hard path that can put people on. It is a delicate matter in people’s lives. I have a mother and father who wounded me very deeply. My mother still yells at me and crushes my feelings. But after ten years of therapy and many attempts to reduce the pain I finally realized some of the pain will always be there. I had to accept the wounds and work with them. It was really hard. But once I accepted my mom will never change it helped. I forgave her for her weaknesses. I did not dismiss what happened. I don’t have to. I simply found a narrow way to communicate with her that makes her happy and stuck with it for a long time. I forgave her and let go of the expectation she could and should be more for me. I must have become more kind. And she must have sensed a change because over time she has come to trust me more. She is softening and changing anyhow after losing two sons. One only a few days ago.

      There actually was a time I used to break things in anger at her. Throw things. Stomp and cry. I see that as a passage into this much better time. But it had to be in my own time. And this article does concern me a little with such things as breaking the father in effigy. You can’t force that. It has a time for some people. Not for others. So, yes. That too bothers me. I can’t speak for the rest. I can’t relate to it. But I do know forgiveness is a process. Not an event. Maybe someone else will relate to my experience.

  18. Chanelle (C.M.) says:

    Very intriguing article, but the title needs to change – he was not under cover at a Christian conversion camp, but a Mormon camp. Christian and Mormon are not the same.

    • Hahaha! Good one. -_- Do your research before you open your mouth dude. I the “Mormon” Church’s REAL name is ” The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints.” Don’t hurt yourself sparky.

  19. Dave Nelson says:

    Good work. I do take issue, though, with your categorizing The ManKind Project as “controversial.” If you haven’t been told yet, this crazy JiM event is heavily borrowing–and tragically, wrecklessly distorting and corrupting– from the MKP signature weekend workshop, the New Warrior Training Adventure. Reading your article was like imagining my awesome, empowering experience with my NWTA weekend through an LSD lense of hate, confusion, judgement, and carelessness.

    That’s probably a terrible segue into defending/promoting MKP. I do understand the NWTA weekend used to have a much more aggressive and macho style, and had some bad things happen on a few weekends, so maybe I’d agree it *used to* be controversial. I think it’s clearly evolved and matured since.

    I’ve been involved for 2 years now since my weekend, sitting in small men’s group circles, and have seen nothing but pragmatic, authentic, caring men helping other men become better men. Gay & straight, atheist & religious, young & old, and everyone in between. No BS, no sales pitch, just an organization trying to co-empower a world of healthy, accountable, loving, emotionally accessible, courageous men who step up to the challenges facing our families, our communities, and our planet.

    Nothing like the callous, self-serving dogmatists who created and perpetuate the ugliness you described here.

    • mike from MA says:

      Totally agree. Did my New Warrior Training Adventure almost 8 years ago. The care and integrity MKP showed in taking us through our work was a country mile from anything I’d describe as “controversial.”

  20. Everything is very open with a clear explanation
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  21. How in the world did you resist that urge to yell “Are you fucking kidding me?”

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  22. I really think that this article could have been posted and still very successful with having to beat up on other peoples’ beliefs. It’s a great article and very captivating structure. Again, both could still be accomplished just as easily without mocking others’ beliefs. Good Job!

Trackbacks

  1. [...] Good Men Project has a fantastic piece of reporting by Ted Cox, who assumed the role of a closeted Mormon and attended a Christian weekend retreat of [...]

  2. [...] Cox goes undercover for Good Men’s Magazine at a Mormon gay-to-straight conversion camp.  And what could be a glib or condescending article (these types of undercover articles always [...]

  3. [...] serve purposes that people don’t realize. How else would you get the inside scoop from someone undercover at a Christian gay-to-straight conversion camp or why a man is expected to make the first move? Newspapers and news channels don’t have time to [...]

  4. [...] Take a scan of the online magazine at goodmenproject.com and you’ll find articles like Manhood in 4 Moments, The Science of Kissing, Dear Elmo, I Hate Your F#$%ing Guts, and Undercover at a Christian Gay-to-Straight Conversion Camp. [...]

  5. [...] Canon Law, might not even stop the kind of insanity that apparently runs rampant in some of the “gay-to-straight” “therapies” run by American [...]

  6. [...] out Ted’s story, “Undercover at a Christian Gay-to-Straight Conversion Camp,” one of the most popular GMPM articles of all time. AKPC_IDS += "20803,"; Filed Under: [...]

  7. [...] Undercover at a Christian gay-to-straight conversion camp Posted By Hilath Ted Cox: … while the ex-gay movement has publicly declared they can bring “freedom from homosexuality,” there’s no evidence that someone can change his or her orientation through these religiously motivated programs. Rather than turning straight, the men and women I met throughout this project dealt with a cycle of repression, backsliding into sin, then shame, guilt, and repentance. These programs collect hundreds of thousands of dollars each year on a promise they can’t deliver… these programs are dangerous. Ex-gay watchdog groups document the stories of men who, after years of failed attempts to become straight, resort to suicide. Full investigative report [...]

  8. [...] to an undercover report, “ex-gay” camps restimulate homosexual feelings and basically only exist to make you [...]

  9. Online Article…

    [...]very few websites that happen to be detailed below, from our point of view are undoubtedly well worth checking out[...]…

  10. [...] at a Christian Gay-to-Straight (JiM) Conversion Campe Undercover at a Christian Gay-to-Straight Conversion Camp Oh. My. God. I have so many friends who go to JiM retreats. I never had any idea what goes on at [...]

  11. [...] They're sending me to straight camp! Please help!!! :( For your information, this is someone's experience at a Journey into Manhood camp. I'm glad you got out of going to the [...]

  12. [...] Now surround yourself with people who all make fun of you for the person that you are. Add in the factor of the media representation. You can flip through the television and certainly find some religious or conservative channel telling you it is an abomination or that you are choosing the very thing that is currently eating you alive. You are choosing to have these horrible feelings. I remember believing (for a short time after the realization that I was gay) that the gay-conversion camps might actually work. I remember thinking that I wanted to go. They don’t work. They never will. You are just lying to yourself. Take this extremely well written and detailed report of a man who entered the camp “undercover.”: http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/undercover-at-a-christian-gay-to-straight-conversion-camp/ [...]

  13. [...] Undercover at a Christian Gay-to-Straight Conversion Camp /* Filed Under: Good Feed Blog Tagged With: apology, conversion therapy, cure, Dr. [...]

  14. [...] Once I read his statement, everything before made sense! This camp (and even he speculated it) was conning money from these poor gents making them believe this could actually make them straight.  And one could only suspect that the leaders of the camp were even straight themselves.  So this brings me to another question, since money is clearly involved here, and (hypothetically speaking) the men running this camp are gay themselves, is this or even all conversions camps doing this because they really do not know? Or to just blatantly manipulate people into thinking they can change them for money? Or, if they are unsure on the science of humankind is it both? And the fact that it’s Christian (just like in Criminal Minds) is another story if that be the case, but shouldn’t there be more camps on helping men deal with this identity crisis as opposed to getting rid of it? Like “Camp OUTdoors”, which is more so for youth but helps all in the LGBT community develop skills and help them cope with being who they actually are, GAY.  But Ted’s story was an eye opener and you should check it out:  http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/undercover-at-a-christian-gay-to-straight-conversion-camp/3/ [...]

  15. [...] Undercover at a Christian Gay-to-Straight Conversion Camp [...]

  16. [...] Also read Ted Cox’s exposé Under Cover in a Gay-to-Straight Conversion Camp [...]

  17. [...] know how I know those ridiculous Christian reparative (Gay-to-Straight) camps do not work, because if there was a camp that would make me a lesbian- I [...]

  18. […] at a Christian gay-to-straight conversion […]

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