A dad who wants the best life possible for his daughter looks out on the higher education landscape. Is college still the best answer?
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What do you want to be when you grow up?
My 6-year-old daughter informed me that she wants to be an astronaut surgeon. That means an astronaut who does surgery in space! After the fist pumping, parentingdoneright hash tagging, and rocket surgeon jokes, I realized that I have no idea how to support her dream.
I’m a hardcore Type B person, and only recently began to accept that label as a badge of honor rather than a slacker mark of shame. I wanted to be an astronaut when I grew up too. I even spent a week at Space Camp the summer before 8th grade. On a simulated mission, I served as the Space Shuttle Commander, the exact astronaut job I wanted!
Fast forward not too far into the future and I had already given up on my dream of being an astronaut. I made up a lot of excuses for why I wasn’t going for it. I have bad eyes, so I couldn’t be a military pilot. I didn’t have the best grades, so I couldn’t apply to the best engineering programs. I was too old to have a chance at being the first man on Mars. You can see the quality of my analysis.
I was a dumb kid. I didn’t know any better and I didn’t know how to ask for help. So my dream withered on the vine. I don’t want that to happen to her, and I realize we’re talking about a young girl here. Whether or not my daughter maintains this glorious vision of becoming a rocket surgeon, parents planning for college today are in a pickle.
We’re sold this ideology that college pays off, that there’s a proper order to life; Go to school, get good grades, get into a great college, get a good job, be happy. Happy comes at the end of course.
Parents, like me, who just did that are questioning the value of college as this standard prescription hasn’t led to the success we imagined in our own life. We’re mired in student loan debt at the same time we’re being sold another platitude about our responsibility to save for our children’s college education.
Imagine your child, not wildly successful and happy after college, instead, they’re likely to be graduating with a bachelors degree, few good job prospects, and $29,400 in student loan debt. Space pays though. Astronaut’s start at $64,724 per year, and top out at $141,715. Pretty sweet, except there have only been 330 astronauts in total since the start of the program.
American Mythology around education is so powerful that it’s difficult to even have this conversation. The President hinted that some students might fare better learning a trade than studying the arts at an expensive college, he was heckled by professors and forced to apologize.
It says something when a special interest group uses such a heavy hand to shut down the conversation. They’re effectively saying, “We know we’re wrong.”
These professors know this information is free, and instead of innovating, offering something new of value, they want to maintain the status quo. I’m not okay with supporting that mentality.
I’m all for The Arts, I’d love to quit my day job and survive as a moderately successful writer. Not a wildly successful writer, I’m still sporting that Type B badge of honor, but we’re blessed live in the Information Age with the combined knowledge of mankind just a few clicks away.
Which leaves me with two questions:
How do I best support her education and career choices?
How do I reconcile my general belief that college is “worth it” with my personal experience and the growing data set that shows it doesn’t always pay off financially?
I have a decade to consider these questions, but I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Photo: Flickr/Stephanie Jean
Here’s my advice: don’t worry about it! Love and support your daughter so she’s not afraid of trying things and failing. If she knows she’s loved and supported no matter what, she’ll be able to take advantage of opportunities. Emphasize love of learning: books, music, computers, cars, it doesn’t matter what she wants to learn. If she can learn she can do anything when the time is right and opportunity presents itself. Critical thinking is important, and the school of hard knocks can be better than a college education if you are paying fierce attention. Remind everyone: it’s the journey… Read more »
Thanks E – You’re exactly right. 🙂
At least in Europe, they also have vocational programs paid for by both the government and the corporations so if you decide not to go to college, you can still get a vocational education without being in debt. The problem is if you want a blue collar job you have to go to college because the training programs for those jobs were eliminated at the high school level and/or the companies cut out their vocational programs. We stress college too much. We need to have a balance between a college degree and vocational degree. It takes all kinds of jobs… Read more »
G – you’re right. That was my expected career path (finance/investments). I studied accounting, and then made it half way through a finance program before puking all over myself. My heart wasn’t in it, only my lust for money. Those quantitative skills have value in other industries, which I hope to leverage some day soon. I love the nobility of the delivery profession, but at 33 my knees are already aching. Can’t imagine doing another 30-40 years. Which is where I end up thinking about my daughters again. It’s clear that education has value — and that with smart choices… Read more »
The things about a college education that make you question its value comprise the problem, not the fact that in order to find a comfortable place in this world she needs one. You should not even be trying to avoid that. But yes, there are profound troubles with the education system, which Ken Robinson addressed in his extremely popular TED speech. Recently, Germany made a college education free for all its citizens. It was following countries like Norway and Denmark, who have also made college educations free. University of the People is a non-profit, tuition free organization that has made… Read more »
Claudette, I’m not going to go point by point with you, but your first point about the cost is exactly what I’m talking about. Sadly, we don’t live in a socialist European nation. Here, cost is a factor – and a big one at that. The average student graduates in 5 years with $30,000 in debt. In much of Europe, that’s 3 years and zero debt. The point isn’t so much about my daughter, she’s just an example to discuss our abysmal higher ed system in the US. Don’t worry about me getting off my can. I read and write… Read more »
Well James, this read came at a time I am having that very discussion with my 20yr old son. I went to college because is was assumed I would. I picked a profession and with due diligence have been living with that career decision for 33 yrs.. At first ,when he started talking about his lack of enthusiasm for college I was uncomfortable.I came to realize that I equated a degree with security.That is just not so.Certainly not now, but possibly never has been. Old tapes and old ways. His goal is to be happy…first. I wish that someone, namely… Read more »
Bryn, it’s great that you’re having the conversation. I got hammered with the You Must Go To College message as a kid. I’m not anti-college, but I had no business going at 18. I didn’t know what I want to be when I grow up…. and I’m only just FINALLY figuring that out in my 30s.
Some kids do know. They’re driven. They have a goal. I have so much respect for them. For those who don’t, a little travel and real world experience can make all the difference.
Leia, Thanks! We definitely need more astronaut surgeons!! 🙂
Believe me, I’ll encourage and support her no matter what she decides. I don’t know about CUNY, but I live in a SUNY town and attended for a year – and it was bananas expensive. Meanwhile, my sister-in-law is attending a private college in NY right now, and the foundation support is so strong, it boggles my mind. Sticker price alone seems to be a poor measure of actual cost.
Astronaut surgeon may not be realistic but surgeon is. As for those a quick google shows salaries ranging from $189,000 to $519,000 so even with the $100,000 debt (and yes you can get it reduced by serving in underserved areas) it is well worth college financially. To be blunt going to college and getting a general arts type degree or even a degree in something with a lot of competition like law and accounting may well not be worth it. Even in the sciences it’s risky because of what is happening in academia. Engineering still pays well though. She will… Read more »
Anne, You’re right. If she wants to be a surgeon it’ll be a dream come true for any parent right. My concern is more about the kids into art, writing, history…. not so much of an ROI there. And honestly, as I look at the future, it’s state schools that are in trouble. They don’t have the best professors or networking opportunities, they’ve very expensive on a bottom line basis because they don’t offer as much financial aid, and they’re going to have their lunch eaten by online schools IMO. I look at the EdX, MIT’s Opencourseware, on the academic… Read more »
We need more astronaut surgeons! Just saw my doctor (female)– she is a gem; she is the only one who really gets me and my issues!
Aside from that, undergrad doesn’t have to wildly expensive (in NYC, there are CUNYs and in the state, SUNYs)….if astronaut surgeon is a serious career goal, loan forgiveness programs exist if she decides to practice in an undeserved area (like Native American reservation or inner city/ghetto)….
Plus if she meets another astronaut surgeon and gets married, then that’s even more awesome!
You’re so right on about this, James. Even someone like me who has spent his career working in and around Higher Education voices these doubts constantly. My son dropped out of college and now works for Federal Express. 21 years old, happy, making $16.50 an hour plus benefits at an amazing company, and enjoying his 20s. Hasn’t gotten it all figured out, but is living better than many of his peers graduating with a mountain of debt. And, as for that college money we saved up? Spent it to renovate our family room.
Thanks TJ!
I work for the US Postal Service, so I understand the joy of a simple job like delivery! I put in a decade of part time study to get a BS Accounting that I’ll probably never use. I put my mountain of debt on the income-based repayment plan, so it doesn’t hurt that much…. but it’s 25 years of being reminded every single month that I’m not “using” my education.