Many of us have irrational fears, and this gay dad does too — drag queens. Here’s what happened when he found out his 14-year old was becoming a fan of them.
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I have a confession to make. It’s a bit embarrassing coming from a proud gay man, but I have this irrational fear of drag queens. Some people are afraid of clowns, some people are afraid of Santa Claus. I’m afraid of men in drag. It’s not about judgement; I would never second guess someone else’s hobbies or career choices. It’s just that their eyes really creep me out. I don’t know why. I’ve always felt that way too. When I was young and drunk in a club, I felt the same. Now, if I’m out in broad daylight at a Pride event — I still feel the same. Needless to say, I don’t watch Rupaul’s Drag Race — ever.
Interestingly, I’ve noticed my 14-year-old son seems to find drag queens quite entertaining. He often sits next to me and reads my Facebook feed over my shoulder. I have a lot of gay FB friends who seem to enjoy events with drag queens, so they show up in my news feed fairly regularly. Actually, they’re kind of hard to avoid in the gay community. AIDS fundraiser? You better believe there will be drag queens strutting around. Art show? Oh yeah! Hoochie Coochie Drag Queen Bingo? Seriously, who comes up with this stuff? My son always wants me to stop on those items so he can read about them. Maybe it’s just that he’s realizing he’s a fan of drag, or maybe it’s more.
In his Christmas stocking this year, he received his first razor and can of shave cream. He had that fuzzy upper-lip thing going on, so it was time. I told him to let me know when he wanted me to show him how to shave properly. Then vacation came along; the holidays needed to be packed away; I went back to work, etc. He ended up doing it on his own a few days later. He said he had been a little afraid of cutting himself, so he practiced on his legs first. He shaved both legs bare. Hmmm, ok.
That was four months ago. This morning, he squeezed himself into my chair so he could read my Facebook feed over my shoulder. Invariably, there was a picture of a drag queen thrown in there somewhere.
“Hey,” he asked. “Isn’t that one of those… what did you call them?”
“Drag queens,” I said.
“Oh yeah. They’re funny!” he replied.
At that moment, I happened to notice that his legs were surprisingly un-furry again. “Um, did you shave your legs again?” I asked. “Why did you shave your legs again?”
“Because I can,” was his response.
Hmmm — again.
So my 14-year-old, who seems to be quite fond of drag queens, also has a penchant for shaving his legs. I know, I know. He’s 14. He’s also inordinately fond of sour pickles and beef jerky. Neither of those facts means he will grow up to work in a pickle or jerky factory. Maybe he’ll simply enjoy taking in a good drag show like so many people do. Or… maybe he’ll want to throw on a dress, invest in some duct tape and learn to lip sync with the best of them. Who knows? Either way, I’ll love him and support him. My personal fear of men in mascara aside, I will show an interest in whatever my son’s interests are. That’s what good parents do.
He’ll probably need to have his sister help him with the shopping though.
Photo: Flickr/Heather Buckley
Ha, this is more tongue in cheek than anything. I’m not so much “afraid” of men in drag as I am uncomfortable with them. I would agree with the first comment – it’s probably a disconnect between expectation and reality.
Well, you found just about the scariest drag queen photo out there! 😉 Maybe it’s just a phase (for you or your son).
My son — who LOVES superheroes — had a fear of people dressed in costumes. He’s over that now, and also likes the drag queens he’s met. 🙂
I suspect that a phobia of Drag Queens is probably related to a phobia of clowns. There hasn’t been a great deal of research on that phenomenon (fears of easily avoidable encounters / situations usually don’t get priority status), but some research psychologists speculate that it boils down to an innate discomfort with a “real body” – where movement registers as “normal” – combined with a “not-real” face -masques or makeup change expressions enough to read as “abnormal” (or “ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod *dies*). I think it’s not a stretch to think that sort of reflexive response could apply to both… Read more »