It’s more important while they’re young to protect them and instill values.
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I am not my children’s friend. You see, I am their parent.
Now, that might sound harsh to you. Perhaps you are your child’s best friend. I want to be that for my own children (and I have 6 of my own, plus over 40 children from foster care, over the years.) But not now, not yet.
Now, I simply want to be their parent.
Sure, I will play with them. Roll on the ground and laugh with them. Watch TV with them. Dance with them, and sing with them. Yes, I will have fun with them. But, my role at this point in their young lives is to be their parent, to be the adult.
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They will know that they are loved every day – unconditionally.
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I am the one who is guiding my children to be the best they can be now, so when they become adults, themselves; they can contribute to society in a meaningful and productive fashion. I will teach my children the difference between right and wrong. I will teach my children the realities of consequences when they make good choices, and bad ones. I will praise my children when they do the right thing, and discipline them in a consistent manner, doing so with love. As a parent, my children will know that making poor choices and bad decisions will lead to consequences.
I will seek out teachable moments, and share those with my children. I will set an example for my children of how to treat others. As a parent, I will help my children with their homework, but in no way will I ever do it for them. When they perform well in school, I will celebrate along with them. When they fail, I will show them how they can do better the next time.
As a parent, I will not spoil my children with money or material items, but will do so instead with love. They will know that they are loved every day – unconditionally. My children will also learn the importance of hard work, responsibility, and integrity. They will have chores and responsibilities in the house each day, and will have expectations placed upon them.
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I will teach them the importance of saying “please” and “thank you,” in all circumstances.
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Part of my role of a parent is to provide for my children and to protect them from harm. This includes the dating scene for my five girls. I will raise them in a way where they will respect their bodies and themselves. At the same time, I will not be afraid to say that they cannot go “out with someone” who does not respect them with the respect I feel they deserve. I am not afraid to say to a boy, “Nope, sorry. You can’t take out my daughter.” My son will be expected to treat girls, and women, with the utmost respect and integrity. I will set a curfew for them and expect my children home at a certain time, and will demand that of them when they go out with friends and on dates. I will expect them to call in when they are running late, and encourage them to text or call when they feel troubled, or uncomfortable.
I will teach them the importance of saying “please” and “thank you,” in all circumstances. As a parent, I will expect and demand that my children use the best manners possible, both in my house and wherever my children should go and, with whoever they should speak to.
I will monitor what my children watch on TV, what they access on the computer and in social media, and what they listen to. I will expect them to go to church with the family each Sunday morning. When they are sick, I will care for them. When they are worried, stressed, concerned, or struggling, I will pray for them. In fact, I will pray for them daily, and will pray for their future spouses, that they are raised with integrity, respect, kindness, and love, as well.
No. I am not my children’s friend. When they are older and become adults themselves, I hope to be their friend.
For now, though, I am their parent.
I am their parent, and I am blessed.
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