Although he didn’t plan to become a parent while still in college, Andre Dandridge took on the responsibility and years later has serviced more than 20,000 young fathers through his interactive educational website, NewYoungFathers.com
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The glare in her eyes sent chills down my spine. Her words, they shocked me: “I don’t care what you say I’m keeping the baby!”
That was that, I guess. And well, we had to make some plans. I started thinking about how much I made working 30 hours a week at the biochemistry lab on campus. I averaged in the cost of my smokes and my booze; I needed them both to last until Monday, at 21 years-old, they were a huge part of my weekend activities.
The only thing going on in my head, as I was still in shock about becoming a father before my senior year in college, was: in nine months I’m going to have to buy diapers, food, shoes, coats, and gloves. In nine years, l would need money for school clothes, birthday presents and field trips. Then in eighteen years I would have to shovel out more cash for car insurance, books and tuition. I was no longer just an average 21 year-old, my entire thought process changed. I wasn’t excited at first; I was actually scared, confused and in utter disbelief. I had dodged the bullet of being a young father many times, but this time I was forced to deal with the consequences of unprotected sex.
For more than three months, I worked hard on my hip-hop demo because if I was going to be a rap star, it would have to be now before the baby came. I wrote my life away, I smoked my young lungs away and I drank the pain away, or so I thought. Truth is, when I sobered up the next morning, I was still five months away for being a young father—that was in the fall of 1994.
Since 1995 my family has had an honest dose of my life; the good, the bad and the in-between. I’ve tried to live the life of a righteous man: I fell in love, became a husband and a father—for a second time—to a beautiful daughter.
I moved around, living in Michigan, Maryland and Florida. And for ten years I worked in the medical field as a medical technologist. I was admitted to podiatry school, but was dismissed after two years for poor academic performance. One night working third shift in the lab—searching my soul and surfing the internet—I took a practice LSAT exam—a standardized test required before being admitted to law school—and did well. Although I knew that this was a huge undertaking at the age of 32 and that I was going to be viewed as a non-traditional student, I decided that night to go to law school.
With the full support of my lovely wife, and my children—who were in elementary school at the time—I worked full time at a medical laboratory and took part time evening classes, eventually obtaining a J.D., in intellectual property. After graduation I was whipped mentally and physically but decided to take the bar exam praying that I passed on the first go round. I anxiously awaited the results, which came out in October. The letter finally came and it disclosed one of my most painful failures. Overwhelmed with debt and rustling through only a few job prospects, I asked myself: “What am I going to do?”
A few months prior to graduation my uncle Chris, who was a young father working on his B.S. in computer science, emailed me an article about a 22 year-old mechanic who decided to shoot the mothers of his children—and later himself—after receiving a child support order.
My uncle and I talked from sun up to sun down about how we made it through our child support challenges, financial bleakness, and being called a “baby daddy.” We thought about how our productive suggestions and support system may have helped that young father. I was now at a crossroads, thinking about how could serve my community. What did all the years in school prepare me to do?
Together, my uncle Chris and I launched a nonprofit organization called NewYoungFathers.com. Based off our shared experiences and values, we constructed an interactive website full of educational handbooks. We organized a national team of experts that enabled us to developed workshops and educational DVD’s designed to help young fathers with parenting and life skills. All of our young men followed the Young Father’s code, which is as follows:
- I am proud to be a father.
- I will take full responsibility in my role as a father and teach my children about life.
- I am ever evolving to be a better mental, physical, and emotional supporter of my children.
- I will do all that I can to instill confidence in my children so they can become productive citizens.
- I will tell my children I love them from my mouth and show my children I love them from my actions.
- I will raise my children to respect their mother even if I am no longer involved in a relationship with their mother.
- I will use all of my mental and physical energy to provide a good life for my children.
- I will expose my children to new and challenging tasks.
- I will never abandon my children.
- I will never sexually or physically abuse any child.
We are dedicated to empowering young fathers under the age of 25 to become responsible men through the provision of community outreach programs, support, media and educational materials that serve to offer parenting and life skills, guidance and education. To date, our website has serviced more than 20,000 young fathers across the country.
Today federal, state and local governments are burdened with supporting the children of young fathers who are not playing a significant role in rearing or supporting their children. The lives of children are greatly impacted by having a positive male influence in their life. Children with fathers who are involved are 40% less likely to repeat a grade in school and are 70% less likely to drop out of school.
If you know a young father that needs support and training, order our DVD series for him. If you feel that what we’re doing is needed in the community, visit our website and find out how you can get involved.
Special Note: I would like to thank my beloved wife (for her support), my two wonderful daughters (my hope and future) our team: Chris, David, Leon, Charles, Kobie, Steve, Trinisha, Rashad, Corie, Ramona, and especially our CEO Rahman for taking on this awesome responsibility.
Andre Dandridge is a 2012 BMe Leader and the Founder of NewYoungFathers.com
Source: TBO Inc®
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