7 attitudes that have to change
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The tragic and senseless murder of 17 year-old Masa Vukotic, who was attacked as she jogged around a park in Melbourne, Australia, last week was met with a broad range of responses. Most controversially was that of Victorian Homicide Squad Inspector, Mick Hughes, who suggested to the media that “people, particularly females, they shouldn’t be alone in parks – I’m sorry to say that, that is the case.”
This caused a stir among people who believe that the actions of a woman going about her day-to-day business should never be considered to be a contributing factor to a man’s violent action.
Victim-shaming is a well publicised concept following the murder of Jill Meagher in 2012, the Isla Vista college murders in 2014, and perhaps most widely, by the Slut Walk movement. Basically, it focuses on a victim’s actions in the lead up to being the target of a crime, rather than asking why the perpetrator committed that crime. This can include shaming women for drinking too much, or wearing certain outfits. None of these things justify women being targets.
Some people still manage to find ways to skew the reality of the situation, which is: men kill women. Yes, men are victims of violence too. But men are overwhelmingly the perpetrators of violence, particularly where women are the victims.
In observation of the online reaction to this tragedy, the following seven responses represent attitudes that are preventing meaningful action against these patterns of violence.
Guys – please – take note.
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The #notallmen
Perhaps the most dangerously common attitude, is one which dismisses the act of a violent offender as one that is so abhorrent that it could not be representative of an entire gender.
To say ‘but not all men commit violent crimes’ attempts to remove the possibility that any man could, in the eyes of women, potentially commit such an act against them.
By condemning only the most extreme cases of gender violence – as we saw last week – we fail to acknowledge the link between male entitlement and the violent ends it can lead it.
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The mansplainer
This response is typified by the Homicide Squad Inspector himself. No man can truly understand the world in which women live, let alone tell them about it – and I’m not going to even attempt to do that here.
A man giving advice to women on how they should conduct themselves to avoid harm is not only condescending, but assumes that women aren’t capable of critically assessing the dangers they face on a daily basis themselves.
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The reality-checker
The classic argument that ‘we don’t live in an ideal world, but everybody needs to take precautions’ is, to a degree, valid. But it doesn’t consider the many precautions women already take to try and protect themselves.
This tragedy occurred to a young woman going for a run in broad daylight – an activity practised by many, and considered safe and healthy in this country.
Suggesting women should exercise with only one earphone in, or with a buddy at all times encourages the notion that women must continue to restrict their lives in order to avoid being murdered.
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The brother/father/husband
The ultimate authority on women’s issue – the man that knows a woman. The ‘I have a wife/daughter/mother so I have a valid opinion’ argument is problematic in two ways:
First, the notion that your opinion matters because you think you know how women operate is completely invalid – you’re still NOT A WOMAN.
Secondly, prefacing an argument with this sense of authority demonstrates that the only reason you give a shit is because women’s issues impact upon the women who impact upon you. Meaning, you’re not in this for the betterment of women, you’re in it for yourself.
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The sane and sober
Describing violent men as ‘psychopathic’, ‘insane’, or as ‘drug addicts’ promotes misconceptions about the realities of violence against women. Anybody can commit a violent crime, and the overwhelming majority violence against women actually occurs behind closed doors.
The violent murder of Jill Meagher generated huge awareness for violence, but the focus remained on the ‘monster’, the man in the dark alley, preying on women – not on the much more common abusive partner, father or friend.
Labelling violent behaviour as ‘crazy’ or putting it down to drugs and alcohol also marginalises the struggles of those living with mental illness or addiction. People who are already largely stigmatised and need the support of their communities.
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The system-fixer
There are well-documented issues with the parole system, many of which have been acknowledged by government. These criticisms are valid to the extent that the law fails to ensure adequate measures to prevent reoffending.
However they are often targeting the wrong systems of law, namely judges and magistrates, who are required to apply the law, not arbitrary ideas of what is ‘right’.
Criticisms are better directed at those that make the laws relating to parole and sentencing – state and federal governments.
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The anti-feminist
This category doesn’t exactly fit with the others, but is worth a mention. There’s no doubt that in some circles, feminism is a dirty word. That’s another battle to fight entirely.
That any man can come out and respond to challenges of the status quo with comments that are aggressive and hateful, almost defending a killer’s actions, are unfathomable.
Shutting down any discussion about a girl being killed by a man, on the basis that the comments are being made by someone who believes in gender equality, highlights the endemic misogyny in our society.
And for those who write off arguments about the ways women continue to be victimised in our society based on their gender as ‘feminism at its finest’, well, they are technically correct.
This is what feminism, for a lot of people, is all about. And those sympathetic of the feminist cause should be proud.
If it were so easy to change the minds of these people who clearly just do not get it, there would be much less need for these conversations.
This article was originally published by Hinton | Making conversation, breaking expectation.
Image courtesy of The Other 98.
@Erin Read this comment, especially the analogy at the end to understand this better. Maybe you don’t realize this but the men here aren’t trying to stop discussion on violence against women, they are trying to add on with discussion of violence against men and discuss BOTH issues. They’re also pissed off at being smothered to death with discussions of violence against women in many places online. There is way way way way too much discussion on violence against women COMPARED to violence against men, as in disproportionate. It’s good to discuss VAW BUT we need VAM getting a proportional… Read more »
7 Attitudes that need to change about violence against men
1) Men do not feel pain
2) Men are always the perpetrators
3) Women are never violent
4) Women are always right
5) Men who experience abuse are weak
6) Men do not need help after experiencing violence
7) Women should get away with crime because of a history of oppression
I agree Eric. It is truly tragic what male victims go through and no help exists for them like female victims have. It is a sad world for male victims.
I hope someday violence against men will be taken seriously.
Violence against men is taken seriously. There are numerous articles on GMP where you can seek information out about this topic. This articles does absolutely nothing to hurt men who are victims of violence. I hope someday that more men won’t see a discussion around the violence women experience from men, as a threat to their own personal experiences or the collective experiences of men in general.
Here, sure.
but it’s hard to say that this site reflects the beliefs and values of the much wider society
Erin, when you get a disproportionate level of support for violence against women, yet violence against men is practically ignored for the most part…it leads to derailing and that honestly is the best thing to do. When society doesn’t take violence against men seriously, men need to derail these conversations and derail them HARD. Because it is not fair that one gender gets so much support whilst another suffers largely in silence, especially when a lot of that support is given by people who say they are all for equality. It’s disgusting that people even get annoyed by the derailing… Read more »
Exactly. Besides, it’s called “protesting” or “consciousness-raising” or “calling out” when women do it regarding their issues.
Male victims need a lot more attention and help.
I agree with that. This article in no way inhibits men’s stories and experiences with violence. I support more help and attention for male victims. I also support discussions around the abuse women suffer as well. Will you join me in being supportive to both as well Larry?
I absolutely agree James. I have experienced abuse so much in my life and this article does nothing to help me. It does nothing to hold the woman who slammed me into a wall accountable. If male victims don’t speak up, then people will just keep pretending they do not exist. This is not the let’s-get-together-and-make-Erin-feel-good-about-herself website. Whoever wants to satisfy Erin’s ego is free to do so. However, sorry Erin, I have got enough to deal with myself.
Mikeal, if you go to the search box on GMP, you can search for articles about violence against males and find alot of truly wonderful information and resources. I’m really sorry about the abuse you experienced. We have something in common don’t we? Since we both experienced abuse. I bet there is a lot more we can understand about each other then not because we share that common ground. There is no reason to put me down or say degrading things around “satisfying Erin’s ego” or about “make Erin feel good about herself website”. I truly sorry that you don’t… Read more »
Erin, The requirement of commenting on this article does not include satisfying your demands. It is about responding to an article. An article that no one is required to agree with. You seem to want to just brag about how compassionate you think you are, but sorry I’m not interested in that. What I am interested in is creating a better environment for male victims so they are taking seriously and get the help they need. The phrase “sin by omission” is a phrase for a reason and this article is committing that sin. If posters want to comment on… Read more »
People aren’t paying attention to me? Oh James, even you don’t believe that. People are paying attention and they are hearing what I’m saying. Even you are paying attention to me. I would safely bet you even see value in a lot of what I’ve said which is why you don’t even argue against it, just ignore it. But we will chalk that up to another insult you felt it was okay to make against me. No singular article has to satisfy your demands either. The demands that a discussion around women who are victims of abuse has no place… Read more »
I will continue to bring awareness to male victims by criticizing articles that pretend they do not exist. I am not obligated to join you in anything.
This article doesn’t “pretend that male victims don’t exist”. All it does is talk about women who are victims of violence from men. It’s like you want to ignore the fact that men commit acts of violence too. The only perspective you want to talk about is when men are victims. That’s unfortunate for you, but that’s not the truth that exists in the world. The fact remain that you are trying to stop a discussion around women who are victims of violence in the same exact way you try to fight against discussion being stopped around men who are… Read more »
My mother was incredibly abusive and very few people believed me until she broke my arm when I was ten. She looked like this little sweet lady, so no one could imagine her behaving this way. That is why this article is so bad. It reinforced stereotypes that only men are violent and so when women are violent, it is very hard for their victims to get justice.
Trevon, can you offer any help on how women or females who have been victims of abuse from men could talk about this topic without you and other men feeling offended about it? How do women or females express these experience, or how do we approach these topics in a way that does not make you and men angry? I already mentioned i was a victim of violence too. How do I talk about this issue without upsetting men? How do I encourage others to realize that my abuse was at the hands of a male and that’s still a… Read more »
Don’t speak about it in ways that cause harm to men elsewhere, like treating “#notallmen” as nothing but worthy of mockery.
Don’t then repeatedly falsely accuse people who bring this point up of not caring about violence against women.
That would be a good place to start for you.
Excuse me Oirish but where in the world have you ever seen me “mock” #NotAllMen? Where? I have never, in all my time on here, “mocked” #NotAllMen. I certainly don’t totally agree with it and I’ll get to that later. Please give me specifics about how I am “speaking in ways that cause harm to men elsewhere”? Specifics please. Have I ignored that male victims don’t exist? Have I not said that I support endeavors to bring more awareness to males who are victims of support? Have I not talked about someone in my own family that I love who… Read more »
Excuse me Oirish but where in the world have you ever seen me “mock” #NotAllMen? Where? I have never, in all my time on here, “mocked” #NotAllMen. I certainly don’t totally agree with it and I’ll get to that later. Dismiss it then, whatever. I don’t think you’ve truly answered my question. Your response is actually ambiguous and attactatory on me even as you exhibit sensitivity to being men being attacked. No, it isn’t particularly polite, but given how many times you’ve lied about my position in this thread, do you expect it to be? Irrespective of my tone or… Read more »
“Yes, men are victims of violence too. But they also perpetuate it. And if you desire to have conversations that talk about how women perpetuate violence against women, then you should also be open to discussions around how men perpetuate violence against women.” Erin, that’s the whole crux of the problem right there: The juxtaposition of a gendered lens onto it. It’s not about ‘male victims’ and ‘female victims’ – it’s as if people like you cannot even see another victim as a true equal without first enforcing this partitioning or hierarchy of importance or gravity by gender. It’s as… Read more »
Mostly, you’re own prejudice is apparent when you say things like “people like you”. People like me? What people are those? In your mind’s eye the wrong people? The bad people? The people who don’t “get it” while “people like you” do? You already have a prejudice against me. You argue for inclusiveness but you have already created a separation between you and me. Because I’m “people like me” – and it’s obvious that “people like me” are on the wrong side of the coin where you’re concerned. Unlike you, I do not think holding discussions around unique groups of… Read more »
“I do not think holding discussions around unique groups of people and their unique challenges impedes anything. I do not think it creates a “hierarchy”” ‘articles about males’ – I wish you could hear yourself over your own noise. In fairness though, if I read an article saying that all men are systematically victimized by all women as a gender simply because they are males & because of systematic matriarchy, then yes, I’d be inclined to debate that. Erin, however benignly or benevolently you wish to paint it, I think that you are fundamentally, inexorably, wrong; you and people… Read more »
Erin, your story is not the only one that counts. You seem to think that you were the only person who was even abused in his/her life. I can tell you first hand myself that women commit acts of violence against both men and women. And articles like this fail to hold them accountable. I cannot speak for anyone else, but I can tell you that I have absolutely no interest in your story since you seem to have zero compassion for male victims. Why should we give you compassion when you do not have compassion for us?
Back the train up. You get to personally determine that I have or haven’t express compassion? I think I’ve been pretty compassionate and even-keeled in an article where several men have attacked me, lied about my personal beliefs and falsely represented me all because I pointed out that they are in an article about violence against women, and they were repeatedly denying women who are victims of violence agency and respect by insisting that this article harmed men in some way. I never said that my story was the only one that counts. You said that to falsely represent me.… Read more »
I am not the one telling others how to post. I think playing CEO of this comment section is a version of not having compassion. Did you know men get beaten and die everyday as well? That is a truth whether you like it or not. Erin, just because you experienced abuse in your life does not change the fact that this article ignores male victims. You obviously like to glorify yourself and pretend that you are somehow above everyone else. However, people do not have to post just things that Erin likes. I did not receive a questionnaire I… Read more »
Are you sure about that Hugo? That you aren’t telling others how to post? You’re certainly trying to tell me how to post. You’re certainly trying to tell me how I’ve posted. You certainly believe you get to determine what is credible literature for the website. You certainly believe you get to deny a conversation around women who are victims of abuse. The irony here is that you are arguing that males are being denied as victims of abuse as you deny that women are victims of abuse. You keep trying to present your case in fragments of things you… Read more »
Why should Clark care about your story, Erin, when you clearly do not give a damn about men’s stories?
Excuse me but you’re in article about violence against women, spreading all kind of vitriol, personally trying to claim things about me that aren’t true, actually arguing that talking about females who are victims of violence hurts you as a man and other men, and then you accuse me of not giving a damn about men’s stories? You do realize how strangely hypocrtical that is right? How completely messed up your accusation is in the face of you being in article about violence against women and showing a complete lack of caring about violence against owmen? You further justify a… Read more »
Male victims of domestic violence do not have nearly the services that women do and are often ridiculed by society. That is why articles like this should be criticized. It does not take that reality into account. What is sad is you lecturing people for expressing their opinions.
Dean, if I feel I have something worthwhile to say, I’m going to say it. You can degrade that by telling me I’m just “lecturing people” and how “sad” that is, but there are others out there that will see value in my comments even if you don’t. Please continue to talk about males who are victims of violence and advocate for them to have more resources. I agree with you. Why don’t you write an article for GMP? Why not create the change you wish to see? But I don’t agree with you coming into an article with a… Read more »
This article is offensive garbage that perpetuates the problem that male victims of violence face. Male victims are laughed at the police, not taken seriously sometimes by their own friends and family, and often even blamed as the one that is violent. If articles like this continue to go unchecked, it will only extend the problems. Men need to speak up and defend themselves against a culture that wants to devalue them, that wants to bring them down and always portray them as animals. I vow to continue to criticize articles that perpetuate offensive stereotypes about men and ignore that… Read more »
Clark, can you please explain which parts of this article are offensive? I do not think this article said men were monsters. Did you know that I was a victim of violence myself from a male family member? While what he did to me was terrible and abusive, I don’t even consider him a monster. Abuse is a complex topic that both men and women suffer from. But there is nothing wrong with talking specifically about how men are violent against women, because sometimes they are. That seems to be a reality you wish to deny. I can tell you… Read more »
Did you know I was a victim of violence from a female family member? I have the right to speak about my experiences just as much as you do. Your story is not more important than mine even though you pretend it is. This article is offensive because it denies the reality of male victims of violence. Why do you think your story and women’s stories in general are more important or should be privileged about the male voice? I refuse to believe that my story is less important simply because I am a male.
I’m really sorry you had to go through that Clark. I think we could share a lot with each other about our experiences. I don’t get the impression that you’re open to that though. You continue to create lies about who I am and what I believe. I’m the villain in your story and your the good guy right? I never said my story was more important than yours. I never “pretended” such a thing either. I have never told any man that his story was less important. Infact, I encouraged Mark Jean to talk about his experiences with abuse… Read more »
Just because there are some articles on this website that support men it does not excuse the articles like this that bash men.
How is this article bashing men?
Women should not have a free pass to be violent towards men.
I still keep with the memories of the abuse my mother put me and my father through. I remember how she smashed a glass vase over his head and how afraid I was for most of my childhood. I really don’t care if Erin does not think my experiences are worthy of discussion because I am male. I have finally found the strength to talk about it and will continue to do so.
Mark, that is a totally unfair statement to make about me and a completely false one. I do not think, and I *NEVER* said that your experiences are not worthy of discussion because you are male! This is truly a gross misrepresentation of my point of view. In my opinion, your representation to me reads more like slander than anything else. I totally encourage you to talk about the abuse you went through. I am so glad that you found the strength to finally talk about the abuse you went through. Our situations are more similiar then different. It also… Read more »
Erin,
If you want support for women, go to a website that focuses on women’s issues. Or else, don’t bother lecturing people about how they should post. You are wasting your time.
Men’s violence against women is not just a “woman’s issue.” It’s pretty reasonable that a website about men would talk about violence perpetuated against women by men. It’s also pretty reasonable that a website about men would talk about violence against men too. And they do talk about violence against men here a lot. No one, me included, never said otherwise despite the vicious attacking and attempts at character alienation that just went on in this discussion against me. This has nothing to do with your accusations around me “lecturing people about how they should post” and has everything to… Read more »
I have posted support of many articles that supported men on this site. It is not my fault that you did not see it. I will not allow you to dictate what I post. This article is very offensive and does not acknowledge male victims’ experience. I will continue to raise my voice until that changes. Nothing you say will stop me from criticizing articles like this that diminish male victim’s experiences. Nothing you say will EVER make me silence my voice. I don’t care that you are so offended that men who were abused by women want to talk… Read more »
Let me clarify, none of you but Oirish, showed up in that other article. That article was pretty quiet except for Oirish and myself commenting in it. And if you want to know what article I am talking about, it’s “Busting Myths about Men and Sexual Abuse”.
There you go again, Erin. Telling people not only how to comment, but what to comment on. You have no right to tell people what to do.
I have commented on other articles about male victims of violence. It is not my fault you did not see it.
I have read and commenting on articles that discuss male victims of violence. Perhaps you just didn’t see it. Also, nothing you say will make me stop criticizing articles that ignore male victims.
Yeah, this has nothing to do with me “telling” people how to comment or “what to do.” I know you’re trying hard to make me the bad guy in all this, but I’m not the one that came into an article about violence men experience, and claim that it took anything away from women who are also victims of violence. That was you. You came into an article about violence against women and actively denied and ignored women who are victims of violence by refusing to have any kind of conversation that would be in support of women who are… Read more »
This article ignores male victims but not mentioning them and not mentioning that women can be violent.
I’m glad to see people ignoring Erin’s complaints about men who want to actually talk about the male experience. No matter what you say, we will always talk about male victims.
Okay James, then by your rational, articles about male victims, which there are many of on GMP, you can easily search for them through the search box, must mean that these articles are ignoring females who are victims of violence? Come on, you are totally better than that. An article that seeks to address a certain group of people does not deny anyone else anything. I have already made this point several times so at this point, I’m not going to rehash it. I’m truly sorry you have no respect for anyone else who are victims of violence except men.… Read more »
Not all women abuse, but enough do to where we should not shut up and pretend that only men are the problem.
It is very important that male victims continue to raise their voice against articles like this that ignore their experience.
Hi Patrick – it is important that male victims continue to rise their voices. But not against articles that are trying to help other groups of people of violence. I’m a victim of violence too. Do I deserve to have my violence put down, dismissed and ignored just because I’m a woman? Does talking about violence that happens against men diminish the abuse I’ve suffered too? Of course not. How does a conversation around the violence women suffer at the hands of men ignore or diminish anyone else’s experience? Does an article about the violence men experience ignore or diminish… Read more »
Erin,
No matter what you do, I will never stop speaking up about male victims of violence.
None of my comments even hint to the idea that I desire men to stop talking about male victims of violence. I have supported many articles on GMP about male violence. I have even told the story about my brother who was a victim of violence and how we feard for his life. So don’t you dare represent me as someone who is rying to deny your voice because your angry that this article was interested in talking about violence women suffer and you have no respect for that topic, feeling as if any conversation around violence women suffer is… Read more »
Another possible approach. The #notallmen You’re absolutely right. The only person responsible for the violent act is the one who perpetrated it, but all men have a responsibility to their community. That means all men have a responsibility to address the issue. We won’t always be around to address the situation directly, but through our words and actions we can send a clear signal as to how men should act treating women with respect. It doesn’t end with the way we treat women. Of equal importance is how we treat men. Do you look down at a man if he… Read more »
Good Lord Oirish, this conversation has nothing to do with what the server is capable of. I’m sure the server has room to talk about the demise of the bengal tiger to political ideology. That doesn’t justify it though. You come into an article, not because you cared to talk about violence against women, but because you sought to make men the bigger victims in a conversation where violence is perpetuated against women. We can’t have the conversations we should be having because some of you can’t stand the idea of not making men out to be the biggest victims… Read more »
Erin will always make the same criticism. She obviously cannot stand the fact the men actually have other concerns than the welfare of women.
Chris Kelly – apparently my criticisms are to be met with put downs but your criticism are simply sound comments right?
Here is another possible rewrite. Feel free to incorporate these ideas into future articles on men’s violence against women because the way we talk about it is important. The reality-checker I understand what you’re feeling. If someone was going to hurt somebody you cared for, you’d want to be there. You’d want to be able to stop it. We all would. Remember the time you wanted to join football or take boxing lessons and your mom told you no because she was afraid you’d get hurt or even your first day of kindergarten or the first time you crossed the… Read more »
Good Lord Oirish, this conversation has nothing to do with what the server is capable of. I’m sure the server has room to talk about the demise of the bengal tiger to political ideology. That doesn’t justify it though. You come into an article, not because you cared to talk about violence against women, but because you sought to make men the bigger victims in a conversation where violence is perpetuated against women. We can’t have the conversations we should be having because some of you can’t stand the idea of not making men out to be the biggest victims… Read more »
Male victims are important and should not be ignored.
Erin, Perhaps you get something out of lecturing people about how they should feel, but it won’t have any effect on men. Male victims are important no matter what you say. People are bringing up male victims to make a critique of this article. By not mentioning male victims, it is a lesser article and shows that it is not effective since it is ignoring an important part of the realities of domestic violence. I don’t know why you feel you can determine what commentators get to say in response to an article, but it will not change my critiques… Read more »
John – Please show me where I said male victims don’t matter? Please show me where I said that men should not talk about the violence they have experienced? Please show me where I said that violence against men shouldn’t be taken seriously? You can’t, because I’ve never made any of these statements and they are certainly not my personal beliefs. And no offense, but I think I would know more than you what my personal beliefs are even as you try to paint me as a monster. I only asked that men hold a conversation around women who are… Read more »
I think male victims need to be mentioned as much as possible. They are the ones that get the short shrift when it comes to funding and public awareness. Also, I thought this was a site that was supposed to help men.
Eric – do you think that men who are victims of violence are the only ones who may read this website? All kinds of men, I’m sure read this website. Even men that also perpetuate violence against others. Why not talk about both sides? How does that take away anything? I totally encourage more discussion around male victims needed support. I’ve noticed a lot of articles about men who are victims of violence on this website, I would love to see you get in on that discussion rather then trying to discourage or insist that also talking about men who… Read more »
Let me try a rewrite. The way I feel the article could have approached the subject. Maybe that will help get the discussion started. The brother/father/husband I have no doubt that you love your sister/daughter/wife. You’d do whatever it took to keep them safe. That’s what men do. We protect them even if that puts us at risk. Guess what, they’ll do the same thing for us. Remember the time something bad happened to you and your mom asked you what was wrong and you told her nothing because you didn’t want her to worry. Women are the same way.… Read more »
@ OirishM
}I’m sure there is a way to engage in discussing violence against women without turning “not all men” into a dirty word and completely downplaying what men go through in life, but this article isn’t it.”
There is, but for some here it’s not sufficient that we talk about men’s violence against women. We have to do it in a manner that vilifies men. Which I sometimes feel is their main purpose. Sometimes I feel that certain individuals would prefer to bash men over discussing issues of concern to women.
@ Erin Let me ask a question. At what point is it unimportant to discuss men’s violence against women? When it’s 30% of all violence? What about 20% or 10% or 5%? If you don’t stop until you hit ZERO then what is gained by making statements like men are the over whelming perpetrators of violence? Some of the people pushing back have been victims of female violence., I on multiple occasions. None of these instances were reported. I didn’t even recognize many of these instances as abusive until recently. In part, men won’t report female perpetrated violence because it… Read more »
You persist to talk about violence against men and how men suffer in an article titled MEN’S VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN. What don’t you understand about this? Is this really that complicated? Do you really not believe the internet is big enough for both discussions that in an article around MEN’S VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN, you feel the need to force an entirely other conversation? Seriously, if I responded like you, in articles about violence against men, several of you would be all over me about it in a heartbeat. Yet here you are, doing something you would never ever ever tolerate… Read more »
Do you really not believe the internet is big enough for both discussions that in an article around MEN’S VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN, you feel the need to force an entirely other conversation? Unless the server is about to run out of space, this thread has enough room for both. Seriously, if I responded like you, in articles about violence against men, several of yo would be all over me about it in a heartbeat. Yet here you are, doing something you would never ever ever tolerate in an article that was about addressing violence toward men. Well, if articles about… Read more »
@ Erin Sorry you experienced the abuse you did. Like Chris, this is the first time I’ve heard of it. I was directly asked about abuse I’ve suffered by an editor on another article. It was triggering especially since she used language I have issues associating with it. I try to be careful with another experience of abuse like on another article on GMP. A commenter replied to another that I had an abusive experience in response to a comment made to me, but told them that it was up to me whether I wanted to share it. I’ll leave… Read more »
Erin,
I don’t know what made you think that you have the right to make people comment the way you want. If men want to discuss their experiences with violence then they should be able to. My brother was in a relationship with a woman who was physically and verbally abusive and it did huge damage to him both physically and mentally. I have seen the damage that women’s violence can do and I will not allow you to silence me.