Bi Polyamory: Calling a Spade and Spade

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  1. typo in first paragraph: labeled -> ladled

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  3. Thank you for writing this so well! I’ve always believed that honesty is always the best policy although one of the hardest to comply with. Def gonna share this with my crowd.

  4. Great article!
    Your single gay friend with the hypocrisy problem unfortunately is nothing new to me. As a gay man who identifies as polyamorous, I have been extremely frustrated with my fellow gay men…many just like your friend.
    I get much more support & community from my bi brothers, fortunately. But gay men can be notoriously hypocritical when it comes to poly. They only allow for two extremes—utter 100% heteronormative monogamy (happy couple with the picket fence and all that jazz on an HRC poster), or full-out wanton sluttiness with cheating and sleeping with a different man every night. So my being in a grey area in the middle—-gasp, poly!—is looked upon with suspicion and scorn. Thank goodness the bi men understand where I’m coming from, or I’d probably not have many male friends at all!

  5. Thanks Rob for a great post. As a fellow bi-polyamorous-male I couldn’t agree more with the importance of honesty and clear communication when entering into a poly relationship. I also concur with your part about how polyamory can play out in many different ways for people.

    Part of me gets it, but also part of me just doesn’t understand, what is so threatening about someone who chooses to have more than one intimate relationship in their life. What is more ludicrous to me is believing that one person can fulfill all the emotional and physical needs of another.

    When I first came out as bi I got the proverbial push back and rejection from both the straight and the gay communities. What I was not prepared for however, was the demonization I got when I went poly. I thought it was only logical that when you are attracted to both sexes you would seek out a relationship with both sexes. Boy was I naive, or maybe just a little too authentic.

    Thanks for being part of the biosphere.


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