One word comes to Cooper Fleishman’s mind upon reading this story: Enlightenment.
I want to start out by saying that I love ya and I’m not trying to embarrass you. Before you do anything else click the star in the upper right hand corner of internet explorer which is already pulled up and then click back on the icon to the right of the skype symbol in your toolbar to pull this page back up. —————————————> That history is the reason that you got that scamware and all the other crap on your computer. I want to tell you that it’s ok. Listen, I was 13 once too and it wasn’t so long ago that I don’t remember. I’m not mad or anything. It’s life and I did it too. I just want you to know that most of those sites are places that can and will ruin your computer. You were actually lucky that it only did what it did. There are viruses and other scamware that can completly ruin a computer and I can’t afford to buy you another 1800 dollar machine because you went to a site that fried it.
There are sites that are completely safe and you can go on them and not have your computer turned into a piece of junk. You can go to these sites and not screw up your computer. Don’t click on any links taking you to other sites and please only go to these. Ninty percent of porn sites have crap that can brick a computer.
[editor: links omitted]
Listen, I won’t tell your mom and I’m not gonna make a big deal out of this. In fact I’m not gonna make any size deal out of it. If you don’t wanna talk about it that’s fine and I completely understand. I’ve been on this earth three times as long as you and there’s nothing you have done or will do that I haven’t done before. If you want to completely ignore this ever happened then I can and will do that too. Please don’t act awkward around me because of this. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I just can’t have an 1800 dollar machine turned into a brick because you haven’t learned where to go on the internet. I’m not going to put a child lock on your computer or punish you in any way because as I said you did nothing wrong. I would like you to not be back here so much though. You literally spend all of your time back here. I’d like to see you more often. I like doing stuff with you and miss it.
I love you and I couldn’t be more proud of you.
About Cooper Fleishman
So a grown man discusses with his son which porn sites to use.
How is that not sharing porn with an underage person? If I told a kid who wasn’t related to me what porn site to visit, I’d be in jail.
I think it was good he talked to his kid about this (talked? well okay, left a weird note with no face to face talk mentioned) but he didn’t tell the kid any dangers of porn, or that it’s not realistic, or even that he needs to be careful how he interprets it and how much time he spends with it.
Just, ‘Hey here kid, I see you went on some sites. Here’s some BETTER porn.’
what are the dangers? and in what ways is it unrealistic?
The dangers are addiction and the nearly irreparable damage it will do to you mentally if you become addicted to it. Do you like having sex with real women? Yes? Ok. Spend ages 13-30 jerking off to porn every day and tell me how great your first time having sex with a real woman goes for you, champ – if you are even capable of getting an erection to begin with. Italy has been doing studies on porn usage in boys and young men and they are finding the men cannot get erections with an actual woman because they have become so reliant on visual stimulation. Further more, a large portion of the women in porn are trafficked or basically forced to get into porn because they are prostitutes and have no where else to go. Let’s not mention the rapes and rampant drug/alcohol usage on set. You want a good view of the psyche of a porn star? Read Jenna Jamison’s biography. She’s screwed up beyond belief. If porn was healthy, the adult film industry would be full of happy, healthy people in happy, healthy relationships. There you go. Some dangers and unrealistic tendencies for you.
I jerked off daily 14-25 and got an erection just fine with my first partner at 25. Stop generalizing so much, only SOME men have this problem.
“If porn was healthy, the adult film industry would be full of happy, healthy people in happy, healthy relationships. There you go. ”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2238719/Female-porn-stars-higher-self-esteem-better-quality-life-according-new-study.html – um what? Female porn stars higher self-esteem, better quality of life? How does that fit into your worldview?
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201107/porn-induced-sexual-dysfunction-growing-problem
http://www.ansa.it/web/notizie/rubriche/english/2011/02/24/visualizza_new.html_1583160579.html
A survey size of 28,000 men that proves many of them suffer from what I am speaking of is not a generalization or some rare occurrence. Just because you are the exception doesn’t mean it isn’t happening to other men. There are support groups and websites for this very issue all over the internet. Don’t act like I am bringing up something no one knows about.
As for porn stars having high self esteem – having high self esteem doesn’t necessarily mean you are intelligent, make good decisions or have any moral back bone. Higher quality of life i.e. they got paid big bucks to fuck on camera and can afford shiny things. We all know money does not equal happiness. And even more laughable about your article – they chose Jenna Jameson for the picture. Have you read her autobiography? That woman is so screwed up I’m surprised she didn’t kill herself a long time ago.
They also only studied 177 women, who all had worked in the adult film industry for at least 3 years. The average porn actress works for less than that because she finds out *gasp* she’s not interested in being used as a toilet for her costars and a virtual toilet for millions of men (and women) world wide. If you think that working in porn doesn’t take a toll on your mind and body, you should go try it out (as a woman) and see how you like it.
Oryx – “Spend ages 13-30 jerking off to porn every day and tell me how great your first time having sex with a real woman goes for you”
Must be a pathetic loser who gets his first sexual expereince at 30.
The funny thing is that guys who are getting regular sex since their teens, are much less likely to be interested in porn to begin with.
Oryx
You also seem very concerned about women. Like you say that viewing porn regualrly desensitizes men and makes them too reliant on visual stimulation. I bet you also think that men’s expectations of women’s appearance also increase and become unreaslistic after watching perfect looking women in porn and they no longer find average regualr everyday women sexually appealing…Right? Poor whimmen..they already too burdened by the beuaty standards …no?
It sends shit flying in the face of people like you when you realize that in reality men are a lot more forgiving to women on their looks. That in reality an average ordinary looking women can easily attract plenty of men for sex. That in reality, it is actually more important for men to be good looking, have great physiqes in order to sexually attract women.
Most women no matter how mediocre they themselves are only want sex with good looking men. I can assure you buddy, that when looking for a sex partner, women are far more shallower, harsh and unforgiving on looks than men.
Its funny that whimmen like to hold incompatible myths “Men are the shallower sex and more hung up on looks” BUT “Men will schtupp anything that moves”
Stop being a woman appeaser and accept that the reality is bitter for men…not women.
And as a side note – the study you linked me was the first and only study done on actresses in the adult film industry. Not to mention, if you want to make money, you better put on the “I am the happiest person in the whole world” facade or you will get snubbed.
Oryx, two points. #1 not all porn is made the same (heard of feminist erotica?). Some companies are interested in creating art, and being paid well for quality stuff that is not exploiting anyone. #2 not all people who watch porn are addicted. It sure helps with sating one’s libido when single. Not just straight men watch it, but women, gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals like myself. Its no substitute for a real relationship, but porn isn’t expected to replace real life. Instead it often adds a
I am aware that porn comes in different genres and some of it is actually done well and artistic etc. I never said all people who watch porn are addicted. I said addiction is a *danger* of watching porn. Porn in a healthy relationship is fine. It becomes dangerous when a couple does not agree on it, and one of them begins to hide it from their partner. The problem when you get addicted to it is that it will take the place of real life because your brain no longer reacts to non-virtual visual stimulation. It is just like a drug addiction. Tolerance builds up until you are a complete wreck.
I’d rather my kid be into consensual bukake than rapey shit like Twilight. I’ll happily buy them a subscription to any number of ethically run small business porn sites they want, no questions asked.
“I’d rather my kid be into consensual bukake than rapey shit like Twilight.”
This x 10000000
It’s fine, but he’s basically interested in the damage that malware from dodgy porn sites can do to an expensive computer. It reminds me somewhat of that cringey father/son speech in The Ice Storm:
“On the self-abuse front – and this is important – I don’t think it’s advisable to do it in the shower. It wastes water and electricity and because we all expect you to be doing it there in any case. “
Well doe Dad!!! Having an open relationship and not freaking out is only going to make his son MORE willing to actually talk to him about sex and gf’s etc etc.
WEll handled, have made mental notes!!
Flavor or variety for people, including couples who have healthy relationships. Love and sex are complicated, and part of sex is fantasies. It is not always a problem, but the main thing is not to make kids think sex is a shameful, taboo topic of discussion.