Dad Finds Porn on Son’s Computer, Leaves Compassionate Note

One word comes to Cooper Fleishman’s mind upon reading this story: Enlightenment.

This story is blowing up on Reddit… 
A dad finds porn on his son’s computer, and leaves him this note:

I want to start out by saying that I love ya and I’m not trying to embarrass you. Before you do anything else click the star in the upper right hand corner of internet explorer which is already pulled up and then click back on the icon to the right of the skype symbol in your toolbar to pull this page back up. —————————————> That history is the reason that you got that scamware and all the other crap on your computer. I want to tell you that it’s ok. Listen, I was 13 once too and it wasn’t so long ago that I don’t remember. I’m not mad or anything. It’s life and I did it too. I just want you to know that most of those sites are places that can and will ruin your computer. You were actually lucky that it only did what it did. There are viruses and other scamware that can completly ruin a computer and I can’t afford to buy you another 1800 dollar machine because you went to a site that fried it.

There are sites that are completely safe and you can go on them and not have your computer turned into a piece of junk. You can go to these sites and not screw up your computer. Don’t click on any links taking you to other sites and please only go to these. Ninty percent of porn sites have crap that can brick a computer.

[editor: links omitted]

Listen, I won’t tell your mom and I’m not gonna make a big deal out of this. In fact I’m not gonna make any size deal out of it. If you don’t wanna talk about it that’s fine and I completely understand. I’ve been on this earth three times as long as you and there’s nothing you have done or will do that I haven’t done before. If you want to completely ignore this ever happened then I can and will do that too. Please don’t act awkward around me because of this. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I just can’t have an 1800 dollar machine turned into a brick because you haven’t learned where to go on the internet. I’m not going to put a child lock on your computer or punish you in any way because as I said you did nothing wrong. I would like you to not be back here so much though. You literally spend all of your time back here. I’d like to see you more often. I like doing stuff with you and miss it.

I love you and I couldn’t be more proud of you.

First of all, I’ve never heard of this—a parent responds to his son’s porn history by actually giving him better porn to watch, on sites that aren’t malware-infested! “Enlightened” is the word that comes to mind…
But what more could he have done? Does he have a responsibility to go more into detail about the differences between porn and sex? Is he underestimating the influence of porn on young boys? Should he have told Mom?
Image courtesy of Flickr/puresolitude

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About Cooper Fleishman

Cooper Fleishman is managing editor of HyperVocal.com. After graduating from Kenyon College in 2009, he moved to New York to follow his dream of book-publishing glory. Once here, he sold dog food on the street and copyedited celebrity-gossip tabloids, finally landing as senior editor of the Good Men Project, where he served for a year before sneaking into HyperVocal. Email: [email protected] Twitter: @_cooper.

Comments

  1. CajunMick says:

    I caught my then 12 y/o son looking at nude/softcore images of women. We were both a little shocked.
    I told him,him I’d be back in his room in about 5 mins, and to delete the images, links,etc. of anything he wouldn’t want me to know he was looking at.
    When I came back in, I hugged and told him I loved him and nothing was going to change that.
    I showed him the computer’s history, favorites,etc. functions. That I can check up behind him if I need to.
    I told him his curiousity re. women’s bodies, sex, and sexuality were very normal and for that he has nothing to be ashamed of. I told him if I had an access to the internet when I was his age, I prob. would’ve been a porn addict, and that I understood the impulse. We talked about being horny all the time, the fantasy of porn, and how RL relationships are more challenging, but defin. better.
    I asked him not to look at porn on our computers, and that I would not put a filter on the computers, that I do trust him.
    Why would I say that? Because he is a trustworthy person. He’s almost 17 now. He and I have a good relationship, and we usually communicate well. We’ve been pretty open in our (age-appropriate) conversations about sexuality as he’s grown up.
    Honesty and humor took the sting out of this conversation.
    Man, I wish my dad would’ve talked to me this way.
    Y’all be welll.

    • Why would you have been a porn addict?

      • CajunMick says:

        Archy,
        I had a lengthy, witty, and revealing reply. GMP ate it.
        So, to be brief, I was a horny high school freshman who was 4’10” and 80 lbs. no self-respecting high school girl would give me the time of day, much less help with my over abundance of semen.
        If I would’ve had access to porn, I would’ve never left my room.
        ‘Nuff said.

  2. my son did turn his computer into a brick, which forced him to come to me and confess. we had a great discussion. like this father’s letter, i did not shame him or punish him. ( i also didn’t direct him to “better porn.”) I wonder what the better porn is. better because the sites are computer safe, better because women are treated respectfully, better because they have better sex, what? that warrants some discussion. and that’s where i part ways with this dad. this father’s main point of discussion was about protecting the computer. mine was about protecting women, protecting the connection between sex and love, protecting my son’s integrity as a soon-to-be man who will go out in the world with expectations of women, his sexual partners, and himself.

    • No, this dads point of discussion is not about protecting computer, its about protecting the son first. While your point is protecting women and protecting your son future women, this dad protect the son first, protect him as a man. I would do the same. After assuring hes not felt guilty and shamed, and its normal for teen to look at those sites, then I would talk to her about love and sex and respecting himself and women. If you talk to him first about protecting women I doubt you really care for protecting him because hes not a woman, hes a man. You should protect him first before protecting any women in the world because hes your son. If not, you’re still shaming and make him feel guilty even if you didn’t meant it.

      • I love this reply, John. You’re so right. I don’t have sons, only a daughter, but with my interactions with my nephews my first objective is to make sure they never feel like or inadvertently become jerks. How to treat women, yes, but also how to expect women to treat them. That a woman who waves her bosom in his face isn’t “asking for it”, she might just be a bitch and a manipulator. Porn is manipulation of men too, because it’s a way of parting them with their hard earned money.

        Much is missing in our education of boys on how to be good men.

      • John- I doubt when the preceding said “to protect women” she meant to keep her marauding the son from ravaging women. More along the lines of protecting his integrity, and protecting his future girlfriends from an unrealistic encounter. Many boys/men are growing up with the impression that pornography is reality. Parents need to point out and emphasize the greatness of intimacy, and love. As a woman, I’m not a huge fan of pornography. It’s unrealistic; the man watches a Star Trek movie he knows he’s not really going to “Beam me up Scotty”. But, when a boy/man watches too much cannot buffet, especially at the age of 13, the lines between fantasy get blurred. Things, actions, ideas they never would’ve contemplated before have become a regularly requested in the rotation.

        Reading this article, the only thing that bothers me, is that a 13-year-old boy might be looking FastPort hard-core porn and thinking that is what real life and relationships are made of.

        • I still stand with my previous comment. We need to protect him first before protecting his future women. Giving information to him about real intimacy and real sex is not like porn ( but without shaming him and telling hes bad for watching porn ) is still the way to protect him, NOT WOMEN, for me. HIM, FIRST. If I got a son in the future and he watch porn, I would not think about his future women first, I would think about him first. Because hes a man, and hes my son. Who will protect him first before anything in the world, IF NOT ME, HIS FATHER, HIS PARENT???? WHO????

          Because if we only thinking him watching porn would hurt his future women, we are not thinking how we shaming him could hurt him too. And it probably won’t solve the problem with his porn watching.

          My family is a very conservative. And when my mom found porn in my browser history back then, shes really angry to me and she punished me. She told me only bad men and pervert watch porn.After that I always very careful when watching porn, I erased browser history, I locked the door, doing it when no one home, etc. See? I still watched porn, only with guilt and shame. And I brought that guilt and shame to sex in relationship with my girlfriend too.

          See? Thats why I told her to protect his son first before thinking of his future women. Because if we protect him first and make he know what real sex and intimacy are, without shaming him, he would not hurt his future women too. Just telling him porn is bad, watching porn is wrong, but still make him feel guilty and shamed wont solve the problem.

  3. When I was about thirteen, I was looking at porn on the internet, because a neighbor was over while his girlfriend and my mom were visiting and he’d left one of the windows open (..he was a skeeze, but let’s not go further on that.) My father also had a screensaver of women in bikinis up that I used to enjoy.

    (it didn’t quite occur to me that I was more interested in women because I was gay, and I didn’t really give much thought to the fact that ‘normal’ twelve/thirteen year old girls didn’t steal their dad’s playboys. But anyway.)

    Not only did they both yell at me and good lord was I punished, my father would make fun of me months down the road. I remember specifically there being a line in Blues Brothers 2000 like “Just stay away from drugs, alcohol, and cyberporn on the internet and you’ll be fine.” and my father said something like “Yeah, you should’ve listened to that advice, huh?”

    It fucked me up to the point that I didn’t really get over my sexual shame hang-ups until my early 20s. I know a lot of the discussion will be about teenage boys (and man, that letter is amazing), but guys, if you have daughters, shame and humiliation fucks them up too. Try to be a decent guy and do something like the father did above.

    /the following was a slightly drunk service message from someone who should be in bed. Crap.

    • That is horrible, sorry to hear you went through that. I knew someone who’s parents went off at her when she was caught masturbating as a child and it caused her issues into adulthood. Shame has no place in sexuality.

    • I’m sorry to hear that. Thats what I told about protect yous son/ daughter first. It is not to shame him/her and make him/her feel guilty. I know that some women watch porn too ( Hell my girlfriend have huge gay male porn stash ) . But it seems many commenter here think only men could watch porn.

  4. That letter would be criminal in Poland. Article 202 section 2 of Polish Penal Code prescribes fine, community service or up to 2 years of incarceration for deliberately exposing minors under 15 to porn, which is what the (fictional) dad does here when he lists the “good” links.

  5. I dont know what to make of the increasing number of young women who claim to enjoy watching mainstream porn and idolize certain male pornstars.

    If women love what happens in porn, if men love it, then why do we need to teach young boys that porn is not reality?

    I guess the real lesson we need to teach boys is that women do love what happens in porn, they just dont love doing it with most men (including most likely..you)

  6. I checked my son’s computer when he was 14 because his mom was concerned. He mostly looked YouTube for video game tips and would literally watch hours of someone playing a game. However, he also had porn history. I knew he had exposure at least as early as jr. high (and 2nd grade no thanks to one of the neighbor kids who showed about 5 kids a site). I was a little troubled that he’d already gotten to the anal porn because I guess I assumed it would be a progression like it was for us kids (I looked at Playboy but Penthouse and OUI, which were more graphic, was too much for me).
    I sat him down with my occasional preface of “it’s father-son talk time.” And I just went right into it. “I checked your computer and I saw where you’ve been. [his eyes widen] First, I’m not mad. It’s normal and 99% of guys look at it. I looked at it. I just checked because your mom was concerned, but don’t worry, I’m not going to tell her (we’re divorced) [his eyes get wider and he shakes his head as if to say, 'yeah don't tell her!'] You just need to understand that it can take up your time, like video games do. You can become addicted and want to watch it every day and it will affect your relationships, your school work, your job, etc. It will also diminish the way you view sex with women, but we will talk about that in more detail another time. The one thing you can’t do, is stay up until 2 a.m. watching it because then you can’t function (I suspected he was doing this but he was also texting a girl in a different time zone). I love you and this is just one of several talks we’ll have as you get older. ”
    I also gave him a quick blurb about how God wants us to treat our minds and bodies, but I didn’t get all preachy about it.
    I then told him to make sure he deletes his history and that he can actually get in trouble at school if the IT guy checks it, which they are allowed to do. And I told him I would never use this against him in any argument. And I haven’t.
    My whole point was to set the tone that he should feel no shame, but that he had a responsibility to himself to be careful. Both in his life duties and with his heart and mind.

  7. Porn is unrealistic in the sense that it creates an illusion of female sexual availability. That women find men’s bodies, genitalia and sexuality as delcious and irresistible as men find theirs.

    Obviously nothing can be further from the truth.

    We need to tell young boys that 90% of the things in porn wont happen to them..unless ofcourse they are a celebrity or a ‘romance’ novel hero. Then women are up for anything. (Just saw women’s comments on an article on a prolific male pornstar .. made me blush)

  8. Porn is unrealistic in the sense that it creates an illusion of female sexual availability. That women find men’s bodies, genitalia and sexuality as delcious and irresistible as men find theirs.

    Obviously nothing can be further from the truth.
    Women are ofcourse very very different. Our sexualities are poles apart.

    We need to tell young boys that 90% of the things in porn wont happen to them..unless ofcourse they are a celebrity or a ‘romance’ novel hero. Then women are up for anything. (Just saw women’s comments on an article on a prolific male pornstar .. made me blush)

  9. Brian King says:

    I think the biggest positive is the lack of judgement this man cast upon his son. Something many people could learn more of.

  10. This ‘Dad’ lost a perfect opportunity to open a discussion with his teen son about sex, relationships and respecting both yourself and others. What a shame, his ‘note’ tells his son that the only problem dad has is with money.

    That’s the problem with parents today. Stick your head in the sand about what’s happening to rape your children’s innocence while only caring about the material items in life.

    Dad, you screwed up big time. Go back and have that talk. It’s the only way to save your son’s future!!

  11. So a grown man discusses with his son which porn sites to use.

    How is that not sharing porn with an underage person? If I told a kid who wasn’t related to me what porn site to visit, I’d be in jail.

    I think it was good he talked to his kid about this (talked? well okay, left a weird note with no face to face talk mentioned) but he didn’t tell the kid any dangers of porn, or that it’s not realistic, or even that he needs to be careful how he interprets it and how much time he spends with it.

    Just, ‘Hey here kid, I see you went on some sites. Here’s some BETTER porn.’

    • what are the dangers? and in what ways is it unrealistic?

      • The dangers are addiction and the nearly irreparable damage it will do to you mentally if you become addicted to it. Do you like having sex with real women? Yes? Ok. Spend ages 13-30 jerking off to porn every day and tell me how great your first time having sex with a real woman goes for you, champ – if you are even capable of getting an erection to begin with. Italy has been doing studies on porn usage in boys and young men and they are finding the men cannot get erections with an actual woman because they have become so reliant on visual stimulation. Further more, a large portion of the women in porn are trafficked or basically forced to get into porn because they are prostitutes and have no where else to go. Let’s not mention the rapes and rampant drug/alcohol usage on set. You want a good view of the psyche of a porn star? Read Jenna Jamison’s biography. She’s screwed up beyond belief. If porn was healthy, the adult film industry would be full of happy, healthy people in happy, healthy relationships. There you go. Some dangers and unrealistic tendencies for you.

        • I jerked off daily 14-25 and got an erection just fine with my first partner at 25. Stop generalizing so much, only SOME men have this problem.

          “If porn was healthy, the adult film industry would be full of happy, healthy people in happy, healthy relationships. There you go. ”
          http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2238719/Female-porn-stars-higher-self-esteem-better-quality-life-according-new-study.html – um what? Female porn stars higher self-esteem, better quality of life? How does that fit into your worldview?

          • http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/201107/porn-induced-sexual-dysfunction-growing-problem

            http://www.ansa.it/web/notizie/rubriche/english/2011/02/24/visualizza_new.html_1583160579.html

            A survey size of 28,000 men that proves many of them suffer from what I am speaking of is not a generalization or some rare occurrence. Just because you are the exception doesn’t mean it isn’t happening to other men. There are support groups and websites for this very issue all over the internet. Don’t act like I am bringing up something no one knows about.

            As for porn stars having high self esteem – having high self esteem doesn’t necessarily mean you are intelligent, make good decisions or have any moral back bone. Higher quality of life i.e. they got paid big bucks to fuck on camera and can afford shiny things. We all know money does not equal happiness. And even more laughable about your article – they chose Jenna Jameson for the picture. Have you read her autobiography? That woman is so screwed up I’m surprised she didn’t kill herself a long time ago.

            They also only studied 177 women, who all had worked in the adult film industry for at least 3 years. The average porn actress works for less than that because she finds out *gasp* she’s not interested in being used as a toilet for her costars and a virtual toilet for millions of men (and women) world wide. If you think that working in porn doesn’t take a toll on your mind and body, you should go try it out (as a woman) and see how you like it.

            • Oryx – “Spend ages 13-30 jerking off to porn every day and tell me how great your first time having sex with a real woman goes for you”

              Must be a pathetic loser who gets his first sexual expereince at 30.

              The funny thing is that guys who are getting regular sex since their teens, are much less likely to be interested in porn to begin with.

            • Oryx

              You also seem very concerned about women. Like you say that viewing porn regualrly desensitizes men and makes them too reliant on visual stimulation. I bet you also think that men’s expectations of women’s appearance also increase and become unreaslistic after watching perfect looking women in porn and they no longer find average regualr everyday women sexually appealing…Right? Poor whimmen..they already too burdened by the beuaty standards …no?

              It sends shit flying in the face of people like you when you realize that in reality men are a lot more forgiving to women on their looks. That in reality an average ordinary looking women can easily attract plenty of men for sex. That in reality, it is actually more important for men to be good looking, have great physiqes in order to sexually attract women.

              Most women no matter how mediocre they themselves are only want sex with good looking men. I can assure you buddy, that when looking for a sex partner, women are far more shallower, harsh and unforgiving on looks than men.

              Its funny that whimmen like to hold incompatible myths “Men are the shallower sex and more hung up on looks” BUT “Men will schtupp anything that moves”

              Stop being a woman appeaser and accept that the reality is bitter for men…not women.

            • Love the way you spell “whimmen”. Tim, you sound like a guy who got hurt or rejected one too many times.

              Just do the research, but watch your sources.
              And keep in mind you will always find the “good side” to any evil.
              Know that this is something that is affecting both men and women, and that they are not the exception.
              Just because one grows up to be a “normal” guy, doesn’t mean that things he has been exposed to, have been necessarily good for them.

              Talking about the dangers of porn, or all of those things that you didn’t like hearing, is vitally important to both men and women in society. We need more men that see that and can do that.

          • And as a side note – the study you linked me was the first and only study done on actresses in the adult film industry. Not to mention, if you want to make money, you better put on the “I am the happiest person in the whole world” facade or you will get snubbed.

          • I jerked off scores of times every day when I was a teen. PE when I first got married. PE now that I’m 48. Porn wrekcs everyting

        • Oryx, two points. #1 not all porn is made the same (heard of feminist erotica?). Some companies are interested in creating art, and being paid well for quality stuff that is not exploiting anyone. #2 not all people who watch porn are addicted. It sure helps with sating one’s libido when single. Not just straight men watch it, but women, gay men, lesbians, and bisexuals like myself. Its no substitute for a real relationship, but porn isn’t expected to replace real life. Instead it often adds a

          • I am aware that porn comes in different genres and some of it is actually done well and artistic etc. I never said all people who watch porn are addicted. I said addiction is a *danger* of watching porn. Porn in a healthy relationship is fine. It becomes dangerous when a couple does not agree on it, and one of them begins to hide it from their partner. The problem when you get addicted to it is that it will take the place of real life because your brain no longer reacts to non-virtual visual stimulation. It is just like a drug addiction. Tolerance builds up until you are a complete wreck.

            • Michael Rowe says:

              Oryx, your shrill generalizing, finger-wagging, and hyperbolic exaggeration just makes this father sound more like a decent, sane, carling father with a good relationship with his son. Just so you know.

    • I agree with you 100%.
      There definitely needs to be more discussion around this issue, as it could be more harmful that a simple computer!
      Porn is a real infestation, and as, it is normal to at 13 be curious about sex, there is still a big responsibility to guide a 13 year old to how to manage and direct that curiosity.

      I agree about the dangers of porn.
      And just because “everybody does it” doesn’t mean that it’s what “everybody should be doing it”

      Those are my thoughts.

  12. Madeira says:

    I’d rather my kid be into consensual bukake than rapey shit like Twilight. I’ll happily buy them a subscription to any number of ethically run small business porn sites they want, no questions asked.

  13. It’s fine, but he’s basically interested in the damage that malware from dodgy porn sites can do to an expensive computer. It reminds me somewhat of that cringey father/son speech in The Ice Storm:

    “On the self-abuse front – and this is important – I don’t think it’s advisable to do it in the shower. It wastes water and electricity and because we all expect you to be doing it there in any case. “

  14. Well doe Dad!!! Having an open relationship and not freaking out is only going to make his son MORE willing to actually talk to him about sex and gf’s etc etc.

    WEll handled, have made mental notes!!

  15. Flavor or variety for people, including couples who have healthy relationships. Love and sex are complicated, and part of sex is fantasies. It is not always a problem, but the main thing is not to make kids think sex is a shameful, taboo topic of discussion.

  16. I respect the father’s gentle response and reaffirming his love and support for his son, but I find absurd the idea that directing him to malware-free porn is a good idea. Every adolescent boy engages in some behavior along these lines, but failing to in any way let him know that it’s not ultimately the best use of one’s sexual faculties is just plain wrong. If there were nothing wrong with masturbating, why are married women so frequently hurt when they discover their husbands have been doing it? Bottom line – it’s often a release many males use to release sexual urges, but the urges are ultimately meant for something greater.

    • “If there were nothing wrong with masturbating, why are married women so frequently hurt when they discover their husbands have been doing it?”

      Because they’re neurotic and insecure and don’t understand that masturbation isn’t a rejection of them.

      • Being neurotic and insecure has nothing to do with it. Women are capable of orgasming all day and all night whereas a man can only ejaculate a few times a day at best. Having a man jerk off by himself while neglecting to properly please his woman goes beyond feeling hurt. It’s the most selfish thing a man can do. He could save it and bring that energy into the relationship that he signed up for. If he wants to jerk off to porn he should stay single. EVERY woman is orgasmic and part of his “job” as a husband is to pleasure his wife. If she doesn’t feel comfortable while on her period or the day after ovulation when hormones drop then fine, go jerk off. I doubt any woman would feel hurt when she doesn’t want sex but is fulfilled the rest of the time with her husband.

  17. open minded woman says:

    Ok as a female and a mom of young kids. I think he did the right thing with the note. Also by not telling the kids mom. I looked up online porn when I was younger because I was interested in whats out there. I felt embarrassed to talk to my mom about it. Until a very similar thing happened to me. My mom did not judge me for my actions. She let me know that it was ok. And I should never feel ashamed of who I am and things that I like. Any she didn’t tell my dad what she found out. And as a parent I can understand why. My dad would of freaked and yelled and would of made things worse. So I believe as a parent he did the right thing.Its not about if porn is bad or good or how it ruins relationships or anything that people complain about. If you watch great good for you. If you don’t watch great good for you. Its freedom to choose and is a private matter behind closed doors. There is nothing wrong with it.

  18. I can see how you handled this will have a positive effect on your son. Children and he is bordering on adolescence, or anyone for that matter often are more open to non judgement to make changes. You created a beautiful opening to your son and you let him know how much you love him and care about him. The message I saw was that you want to spend more time with him and have him spend less time on the computer looking at pornography. I believe that is what he will hear. I also believe that now that he knows you know, he may not feel like it is as exciting because he isn’t “getting away with something”.I also believe that you created an opening to have more honest and open discussions with each other.

  19. I think the biggest reason for “not telling your mom” is because dad is viewing regularly and doesn’t want his wife to bust him. Women don’t always get upset because they are insecure and neurotic. They just might get upset because their husbands are having sexual experiences with other women, whether the other woman knows it or not. The porn industry sets up an unfair standard to which real women can hardly achieve. If we never had porn, what would sex be like? I doubt it would be boring, but there wouldn’t be an expectation of “dirty” as what is the most exciting. It is no different than photoshopped models creating a standard of beauty. It isn’t REAL.

  20. So for all of the people applauding the father. Does anyone even care that he is actually condoning illicit activity? Have you ever stop to thing of the WHY porn sites are illegal to anyone younger than 18? Would you think that sends a not-so-great message to the kid?
    As embarrassing and uncomfortable it may be, wouldn’t it be better to -talk about it?- and maybe ask the boy to start getting involved in other activities?
    I’m just thinking 13 is still so young! And there’s so much crap out there! I mean you can easily come across some crazy shit. Once he is bored with the links the dad gave him… It only makes sense he would go back to other sites.
    I would definitely discourage him from watching pornography. And I absolutely detest people that’s laugh at the thought of a man or boy or anyone for that matter, NOT watching porn. I also think a 13 year old kid would understand the dangers and what negative things that industry CAN do to people. Wether they are the ones doing it, or the ones watching it.

    I can’t believe people defend this SO much. And are SO afraid of saying anything negative about it.
    It’s a total joke.

  21. This dad is a fucking legend. End of story.

    Stop being judgmental assholes

  22. If you may be a Sex addict, get your life back. Please take a look at the book “Out of the Shadows” by Patrick Carnes.

  23. I think he did good but should have explained tht porn isn’t real sex, but maybe he didn’t want to go into it all til his son is ready to actually talk to him about it. I hope at some point he does. other than tht I think he did good. ppl getting mad tht he gave good sites, sorry but u have to realize that he didn’t introduce porn to him, the kid already has been exposed, the best thing tht can be done now is to teach him how to use it safely and get him to understand the dif between real sex and porn. hes already been exposed, it cant be taken back, he wont forget it, and if someone doesn’t give him the right info about it he will continue to use it unsafely. I would agree with all the nay sayers of he had been the one to to originally expose it to him but no this father is correcting the exposure the best way possible. he even said he would like to hang out with him more and not see him locked to the computer so much. most likely tht is not only a way to support father son time but to also bring him away from the porn. good job daddy, I would be one very proud mama and wife if I found out this all went down and he wasn’t goin tell me. I would appreciate being in the loop but hes got it handled

  24. If only he were concerned as much about his son as he is the computer, it would be awesome. His son’s heart and mind are going to be impacted by the negative effects of porn. Even GQ magazine recently had an article about how terrible it is on a person.

Trackbacks

  1. [...] on The Good Men Project, Cooper Fleishman agreed that the letter is “enlightened” but wonders if dad had a [...]

  2. [...] Finds Porn on Son’s Computer, Leaves Compassionate Note goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog… via [...]

  3. [...] Dad Finds Porn on Son’s Computer, Leaves Compassionate Note — The Good Men Project September 26, 2012 Leave a reply [...]

  4. […] One dad left his son a compassionate, non-judgmental note. As reported by The Good Men Project, the dad wrote his son a note, explaining that the son’s visits to pornographic sites were probably what caused malware to mess up his computer. The note explained that porn sites are notorious for malware — and directed the son toward some more reliable, not-malware-infested porn sites. […]

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