Joanna Schroeder explains to gossip-mongers everywhere that Will Ferrell was actually making fun of them when he coined the term “Trampire” and that using the word to support R-Patz is actually sorta bad for society.
First, people, Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson’s break-up has nothing to do with you.
Second, it won’t change anything whether you think R-Patz cheated on K-Stew first or whether she is a cheater-cheater-pumpkin-eater. Your opinion on who was at fault doesn’t make anyone’s life better in any way.
Third, by calling Kristen Stewart a Trampire (even if you’re doing it all ironical and whatnot), you’re slut-shaming. It doesn’t matter if you consider Kristen Stewart’s acknowledgment of having had an affair with a married man to be an admission of “trampy-ness”. Here’s why: You’re giving tacit approval to the use of a term that is a pejorative in reference to a woman’s sexuality.
It’s hard to believe this is even a conversation, isn’t it? It all came about when I stumbled upon a top-read HuffPo article called Kristen Stewart Trampire Shirt Lets You Show Your Stance by Rebecca Adams.
Feel strongly about Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson’s heartbreaking cheating scandal? Well, you’re in luck because you now have a t-shirt to share your stance with the world.
Online retailer Skreened is offering t-shirts emblazoned with the phrase “Kristen Stewart Is A Trampire” (you know, that damning word Will Ferrell used to describe the actress on “Conan”). If you’re not too into the “T” word, shirts that say “Robert Pattinson Deserves Better” and “Kristen Stewart [expletive] Sucks” are also available on the site among other variations on the theme.
If you haven’t seen the Will Ferrell interview (which is actually a little skit) on Conan, please go watch it here, and realize that Will Ferrell’s coining of the phrase “Trampire” is a joke… The whole thing is a joke upon the people who actually give a shit about the relationship of two total strangers whom they know nothing about. Does Will Ferrell give a crap about these two? No! I think I even heard him say Robert Pattinson’s name wrong.
If you’re one of the people who feels compelled to wear a shirt that says, “Trampire” in order to show your support for Robert Pattinson, please realize that R-Patz doesn’t know you’re wearing it, and therefore doesn’t care. If you really want him to know that you support him, create a Tumblr or something telling him you love him and that you hope he someday finds true love with a deep level of intimacy and trust. You can even suggest yourself as a candidate if you want! Then email his fan club or find his publicist’s email and shoot the URL over to him or her (sorry, publicists).
The people who may actually care about your shirt could possibly be the women who’ve been called “sluts” or “whores” or “tramps” in their lives by really terrible people. I’m not saying you have to be sensitive to everyone in the entire world and anticipate everybody’s hang-ups, but if you’re going to upset a few people and propagate negative images of female sexuality, at least do it for something that matters, not because you love movies about vampires.
Why is he making fun of you? Because there are legitimately important things happening in the world at large, and probably in your own life. For instance, the number of American service people who commit suicide has now exceeded the number of service people who have died in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan. Another example, Rep. Todd Akin just recently said that people who are “legitimately raped” are not likely to get pregnant. And did you know that statistics show that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 6 boys will be sexually abused before they are 18 years old? Finally, just FYI, there is an election looming.
If that’s all too depressing, there are a billion other things you can be doing in your life, friends. Pursue a skill or higher degree. Maybe wash your dog or volunteer somewhere. You could even talk about R-Patz and K-Stew with your pals in a way that doesn’t propagate negative terminology about female sexuality.
Tee shirt apparently available at Skreened