What century does Ann Romney live in? Two million Dads are full time parents, too, and we know it can be an ass whipping.
Last night at the Republican National Convention, Ann Romney gave a speech. By all accounts she hit it out of the park. The transcript is available on line this morning. You can read the entire speech here.
But I’d like to note the section that came in the middle of her speech. Because I think it says a lot about the narratives the drive a particularly antiquated and divisive view of parenting and care giving in America.
In her speech Ann said:
“Sometimes, I think that, late at night, if we were all silent for just a few moments and listened carefully, we could hear a collective sigh from the moms and dads across America who made it through another day, and know that they will make it through another one tomorrow. But in the end of that day moment, they are just aren’t sure how.
And if you listen carefully, you’ll hear the women sighing a little bit more than the men. It’s how it is, isn’t it? It’s the moms who have always had to work a little harder to make everything right. It’s the mom’s of this nation, single, married, widowed, who really hold the country together. We’re the mothers. We’re the wives. We’re the grandmothers. We’re the big sisters. We’re the little sisters and we are the daughters.
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She goes on the say:
“You (moms) are the ones that have to do a little bit more and you know what it is like to earn a little bit harder earn the respect you deserve at work and then you come home to help with the book report just because it has to be done. You know what those late-night phone calls with an elderly parent are like, and those long weekend drives just to see how they’re doing.
You know the fastest route to the local emergency room and which doctors actually answers the phone call when you call at night, and by the way, I know all about that.
You know what it is like to sit in that graduation ceremony and wonder how it was that so many long days turned into years that went by so quickly. You are the best of America…You are the hope of America. There would not be an America without you. Tonight, we salute you and sing your praises!
(APPLAUSE)
I am not sure if men really understand this, but I don’t think there is a woman in America who really expects her life to be easy. In our own ways, we all know better. You know what, and that’s fine. We don’t want easy.”
And so it goes…
♦◊♦
This message was carefully crafted. After months of massive GOP missteps on birth control and rape, Ann Romney’s job was to reach out to women and convince them that she understands their lives. And how did her speech writers decide to do this? By pandering to an idea of men and parenting that is fast becoming a thing of the past.
An America where Dad smokes his pipe and reads the evening paper while mom cooks dinner. An America where Dad golfs each weekend while mom does the housework. An America where Dad goes to the office and mom gets the kids off to school, and scouts, and soccer and all the rest of the places that Dad couldn’t find if he had to.
In doing so, Mrs. Romney made it quite clear that she doesn’t understand my life and the lives of millions of other dads who are a primary caregiver for their children. According to CNN and the most recent U.S. Census, some two million men function as the primary caregivers in their families. And that number is skyrocketing. Men are raising children while many women go to the office.
I’m glad Ann hit her speech out of the park. Good for her. But WHAT she hit out of the park was a speech that panders to the idea that men don’t understand caregiving. That men don’t do the “hard work” or feel the challenges of care giving for aging parents or babies.
Here is an except from an article I wrote about being a Stay at Home Dad. The article is titled Babies and the Rebirth of Men. Forgive me for putting myself in quotes but this speaks to the transformation that men everywhere are undergoing. A transformation this is mostly happening below the cultural radar.
“The opportunity to open up my life to my son continues to change who I am, even as he grows and moves out into the world, and eventually away from me. In caring for him and looking after his littlest needs, I have set my feet on a path that has taught me things about myself I would never have known without him. It is a complex process full of dark moments and frustrations.
Ask any parent. Its the tearing down of who you were and the giving over to service and change. It is not a journey for the weak of heart. When I see a mother or a dad collapsed beyond exhaustion on a park bench staring blankly at their kids, I know how they feel. But the process of really engaging in my son’s life for the last six years has taught me one thing that I will never forget.
That who I am inside the boundaries of myself, is only a small part of who I really am. I am defined by what I create in the world in relationship with my son, with my wife, and with others. It’s a lesson that was a long time coming. As men, we can learn this through service to our children and the purposeful setting aside of our own needs. We learn it in the baptism of birth and the long nights and days of care and attention.”
For the two million or more full-time dads, there are tens of millions more who are sharing 100% equally in parenting. Dads who damn well know where the emergency room is. Dads who fully understand what it’s like to care for an ailing parent. Because they’re doing all of it.
When Ann Romney says, “I am not sure if men really understand this…” and “It’s the moms who have always had to work a little harder to make everything right,” I can only respond by saying, Ann, we dads understand sacrifice, caregiving and the happy exhaustion of full time parenting. We understand every aspect of caring for aging parents and attending PTA meetings. We modern dads are not the stereotypical disengaged working men of fifty years ago who dismissed the work that mothers do. We do this work, too and we know it can be an ass whipping.
So, if you don’t mind, please don’t tell us we don’t understand the immense sacrifices of parenting and caregiving. It’s insulting. It’s divisive. And its manipulative.
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Family Relaxing in Living Room from Shutterstock
I listene to Ann Romney’s speech, and when I heard that particular part (the one you quoted), I almost did a double take. Thanks for writing about this!
co-sign and totally agree Mark.
“For the two million or more full-time dads, there are tens of millions more who are sharing 100% equally in parenting. Dads who damn well know where the emergency room is. Dads who fully understand what it’s like to care for an ailing parent. Because they’re doing all of it.” And nobody should be all that impressed by it. It’s just life. It’s what we are supposed to do. I have no idea why they think people should be impressed by non-income earning SAHD’s; it’s something women have been doing for generations, except they actually give birth to and nurse… Read more »
Likewise as nobody should be all that impressed by women who makes it big in STEM fields, women who becomes senators and govenors and women who work as welders, builders, firefighters and so on? I for one think that some admiration is earned by those who goes against the grain (in these cases it’s against gender expectations). I have soem admiration for women who choose not to have children, simply because many of them find that choice is being questioned by many – many of whom it should be no business to do so. Granted, there is a difference between… Read more »
“Likewise as nobody should be all that impressed by women who makes it big in STEM fields, women who becomes senators and govenors. . .” Being a Fortune 500 CEO of a company such as Yahoo, male or female IS impressive – because very, very, very few people, male or female achieve that much. Same with becoming a senator or governor. Those achievements are seriously impressive. By contrast, being a welder or builder (whatever is meant by “builder”) is impressive in the sense that it’s hard word, male or female. Being a firefighter, male or female, is different than any… Read more »
In response, I would suggest we spend too much time and effort making some work invisible and elevating other work as valued. All work has value. Often the people most vocal about some task or another not being “impressive” have never done it themselves.
“Often the people most vocal about some task or another not being “impressive” have never done it themselves.”
I am not impressed when people fulfill their obligations, particularly obligations that they take on voluntarily, such as parenthood. Caring for one’s family responsibilities, both secularly and domestically, is what parents are SUPPOSED to do.
I have 2 daughters and worked from home for 7 years. During that time, and thereafter, I have done every domestic task for years, both inside and outside the home – and have been either the main or exclusive breadwinner. It’s not impressive; it’s not hard. it’s my responsibility.
OOPS, u are correct, I re-read the article, apologies forwarded to all.
(Removes foot from mouth)
Thanks, John. I know all too well that you didn’t have to say that. I’m often removing my foot from my mouth and I rarely take the time to admit just having done so. So thanks.
Great article. It’s not like men are just come home, heres money, leave me alone to watch tv.
My father was there for me a lot as a kid and until he died when I was 18, he was irreplaceable, our family was like araldite, epoxy n resin, after dad died just like it’d happen if you didn’t have the resin or epoxy our family kinda fell apart. Both mum n dad were essential to our family, it was 50:50 and the lack of either would be and is sorely missed.
No sweat, man. No need to apologize. Thanks for joining the conversation.
What shocks me most about this article is again how it 100% puts the focus on women. This is supposed to be a site for men, about men and about their stories, but so many of the stories are for all intents and purposes saying that men aren’t important unless we are focusing on women.
It just never ceases to amaze me.
Maybe if you tried reading again you would notice how the article is very much about what Ann Romney’s talk implied for fatherhood. Mark is making the point that the family model A.R. imagines (the family of the 1950’s) is completely at odds with what lots of men want and how they see themselves as fathers.
Mark’s article about men – and about being annoyed with the things A.R. is saying about men.
Here’s my view of the GoodmenProject. Imagine having one person (man or woman) in the local bar tell the rest of us what is appropriate subject matter for conversation… It would be laughable. Here’s how I think it should work here. If you don’t like what I’m discussing, go to the bar, get yourself a beer, turn to the guy or gal next to you and start another conversation. Change the channel. Turn the page. There are a lot of conversations going on here. That, in my humble opinion, is what the GoodMenProject is about. No subjects are silenced. All… Read more »
Good points, Mark. And a good example of why this “let’s all return to the family structure of the 50’s” is no good; it’s not what most women want, and it’s not what most men want. It does not at all reflect how we want to live, how we want to be families, relate to out partners,or support our children.
Ann Romney (without intending to) makes it clear that this is not even a gender issue. Lots of men and women are together finding much better ways for their families.
It’s very calculated.
They are soon to bring out Clint – Bridges of Madison County hunkster!!
The thing is, she’s not going to lose many voters by saying that motherhood is the hardest job in the world. It’s a pseudo-feminist pedestal that is massively popular in America today, if Oprah’s viewership is any indication. (You can pat someone on the head and put her on a pedestal at the same time. Humans are complicated that way.) You will lose very few people if you make a national speech saying that moms are the glue that hold the country together. Imagine the uproar if a speaker at a convention were to say that men and women were… Read more »
Sorry, that wasn’t meant to be a response to Elissa, just to the article itself.
Society sees women who choose to be childfree as selfish — http://omgchronicles.vickilarson.com/2012/05/01/can-a-childfree-woman-be-a-hero-too/— never mind the reality that we all, men and women, have children for our own selfish needs and desires. That’s why politicians think it’s more important to woo mothers. No one is going to celebrate the childfree, sadly. Their focus is on “family,” although here’s how the Census defines family: “A family consists of two or more people (one of whom is the householder) related by birth, marriage, or adoption residing in the same housing unit.”
No mention of kids!
I wouldn’t mind seeing a childfree article here on the forum. Admittedly, society being what it is, refusal to reproduce is more often treated as a crime by women than by men, but it’s still funny (or sad) to see how often “get married – have kids” is equated with being a responsible grownup, even today.
Dear Vicki and/or Copyleft,
Would you consider writing an article on being child free? The Good Men Project would love to see it. And possibly publish it.
What do you think?
Hi Mark,
Oh, goodness — I have written quite a few articles about being childfree, on my own blog and for the Huffington Post. Even though I’m a mom, it’s hard not to see how society treats people who choose not to have kids. Like pariahs! And if a childfree couple divorces, here’s how they get “support” — “Well, at least you didn’t have kids!” as if that should make them feel better. As I’ve written, society only really seems to care about those who procreate.
Agreed, GMP really seems to focus a lot of articles on dads and kids which is not a bad thing per se, but sometimes it seems like the writers are promoting the same old traditional views of “families good, parents good, kids good” whereas single childless people (at least by omission) are somehow shallow, selfish, bad?
Thanks for the comment Sarah. As a father, I can only say this: childless people are FABULOUS. I mean that. Because they give us “childed persons” someone to talk with who isn’t going on about their damn kids. LOL
Seriously. Its a good thing. And it help reduce the population explosion which may do us all in in the long run.
Ann Romney’s speech was targeted at a specific audience, married mothers, with the strategy of trying to sway them with the “the national debt will cripple your children’s future” argument. That was the demographic targeted.
I imagine if there had been a notional mention of SAHDs, I’d be reading an article about how such a quick reference was just an insult and wasn’t enough to change anyone’s mind. Men have been a really predictable voting block, with every election since Carter decided by the swing women’s vote, and a subset of that is what they were shooting for.
Not only does she not understand men as caregivers, she clearly considers women who take on roles other than “mother” to be beneath her notice. Gross, all the way around.
All I can say about her speech is that “woman” is really lucky to have a husband who goes to work everyday.. maybe to a job he hates.. with people he hates.. maybe its dangerous.. boring.. but pays well enough for her to be at home with the family.. what about that guy??? maybe he would like to stay home and raise the kids??
Those lines in the otherwise great speech are a disappointment, though from a political standpoint I understand why they were made. They need more support from women since they already have the male vote by a wide margin, and this was pointed directly to suburban women. Unfortunately, directly referencing and appealing to any demographic that is specifically male would be condemned as part of the “War on Women” B.S. by the Democrats and liberals. It will be interesting to see if Mark’s SAHD demographic is mentioned at all during Obama’s convention next week. The Democrats have never talked about them… Read more »
Lucky, The War on Woman may or may not be “real” to you, but its real to a lot of women. The GOP has shot itself in foot twice in recent memory. Akins comment about “legitimate rape” is the political equivalent of a thermonuclear meltdown right in the town square. Not because he said something dumb, but because he put a spot light on the kinds of conversations conservatives are having behind closed doors. Whether you consider this to be a war on women is irrelevant here. For that matter whether you are offended by Rush Limbaugh calling Sandra Fluke… Read more »
Luckey has a point, though, Mark, that your reply did not address: Democrats are just as guilty of leaving SAHDs out of the conversation as Republicans are. Dems may speak of/treat women better than Repubs do (glaring oversimplification but I’m pressed for time) but they still put women on a pedestal, they still get all tied up in the women=victims rhetoric, and they still pretty much ignore SAHDs. You’ve essentially criticized Ann’s speech here for leaving out SAHDs, but it’s not like they get much more than lip service from the other party, either. Women’s Issues have been on the… Read more »
Dear KKZ,
Thanks for helping me note where Luckey would like to redirect the conversation. 😉
I thought the roles of men and women at the convention WAS your conversation. But thanks for avoiding a response, again. 😉
Luckey,
How about we agree to disagree? Cause that’s pretty much all you and I will be doing for the foreseeable future. LOL (Repost. Sorry but its still the best answer…)
“The War on Woman may or may not be “real” to you, but its real to a lot of women…Whether you consider this to be a war on women is irrelevant here.” – Unfortunately, many men and women have bought into this liberal BS which the media (oops, already mentioned liberals) has happily parroted along from the Democrats talking points. I’ve already detailed in this thread how I believe it to be bunk. As far as my considerations being “irrelevant here”, I wasn’t aware that GMP was intended to be an echo chamber of your own opinions, Mark. Seriously. “Akins… Read more »
I think you’re making a big error in equating Mark (and others’) problem with what Ann said as being about wanting a shout-out to SAHDs or feeling it was dismissive of SAHDs. Ann specifically said that moms have it harder and hold the country together by virtue of this deep love for their children that only a mom can even fathom. That’s not just an insult to SAHDs, it’s an insult to all involved dads. Her examples of these unique mom activities were things like helping with homework, making long calls or visits to ailing family, knowing the way to… Read more »
Here is the thing though, the DEMS are the same just in reverse, they praise women, make issues for this election just about women, so in reality, why would any man vote DEM and any woman vote Rep, I have no idea.
I don’t agree with your statement. The repubs seized on birth control and abortions. If they had not made it an issue it would not have been an issue the DEMS would not have been able to make it their issue. All we would be talking about is the faltering economy. Now as a women I have to weigh my control of my body vs. the economy. Well right now I am doing alright and I believe that the economy will only improve. So my right to control my own body outweighs that. I have a problem with republican women… Read more »
Well, I will say this… I voted for Obama back in ’08 and have “Liked” Obama’s page on Facebook and lately, they have been posting a lot of cute little graphics with statements and statistics about much Obama’s policies help women etc. etc., and every time I see one pop up in my feed, I sort of sneer. One image has a quote attibuted to Obama – “We know we are better off when women are treated fairly and equally in every aspect of American life, whether it’s the salary you earn or the health decisions you make,” which would… Read more »
Dare I suggest that all you who consider not to vote for similar reasons as KKZ voices to vote for the most suitable third party candidate then? US’ de-facto two-party system will only be bolstered by a low voter turnout where the votes go to either the Democrats or the Republicans. However unlikely it is that your most suitable third candidate will win it will still be a much stronger call for change if the third part candidates reach a high enough numbers of votes than a low voter turnout will be. A low voter turnout only gains the powers… Read more »
“right to control my own body” – God, I hear and read this all the time from Democrat/liberal women, and the media (also liberal). At best it is totally misleading, if not an outright LIE. And I’m not even a pro-life purist. Tiff, are the pro-life Republicans proposing any of the following in regards to “controlling” your body?: prohibit tattoos prohibit piercings prohibit reductions prohibit enlargements prohibit lifts prohibit injections prohibit transplants In case you are unaware, the answer to all is NO. How about your uterus, Tiff? Are they proposing prohibition of sex change operations? Again, NO. Maybe they… Read more »
I am now taking care of two persons that were inside of another human being. One is nine and is two. I love them beyond reason. What scares me is that if I had not been around they could have ended up in foster care. They are African American. The chances of them being adopted are not that great. Repubs don’t need to talk to me about caring about unborn children. Most Repubs seem to only care about the babies in theory. I not only care the babies ability to live but their quality of life. I also think that… Read more »
I noticed you didn’t dispute anything I stated about the “controlling your body” bunk from the left. “Repubs don’t need to talk to me about caring about unborn children.” – Well, you specifically, perhaps not. But the pro-lifers believe that those unborn babies (or fetus or cells or whatever label you use) are people, and hence deserve legal protection even before they are born. If you don’t believe they are people until birth (or a later stage of development) then you probably don’t believe they deserve legal protection until that point. “I also think that a woman who are pregnant… Read more »
“I also think that a woman who are pregnant are best equipped to decide if they can be a mother” “- No pro-lifer wants to force you to raise a child, which is what your statement suggests. That’s just more bunk from the left. Pro-lifers want you to you give up the baby for adoption if you chose not to be the mother” “You can’t have an honest debate unless you’re honest in your meaning.” Wow, Lucky. You seem to feel that carrying a baby for nine months and then birthing it is… what? Easy? Not even worth mentioning? Not… Read more »
“You seem to feel that carrying a baby for nine months and then birthing it is… what? Easy? Not even worth mentioning? Not a big issue? You just jumped right to “give it up for adoption”. Wow. You’ve got nine months of other people’s lives all planned out for them, haven’t you.” – The pregnancy term is a fair point to bring up, Mark. No, its not easy. Yes, its a big issue. But if you believe that the thing inside a pregnant woman is an actual person, then that person’s legal right to a life that could last 80-90… Read more »
I know you’d like to act as if the pro-life movement is behind some conceptual fire-wall from other social conservative agendas. But its not. And here’s the kicker… Women don’t trust social conservatives to EVER end their crusade on social issues aimed at controlling women. No win will be enough. There will ALWAYS be something else. It is a step by step plan to undermine choice and then to go after a wide range of other issues. The first shots have been fired on access to birth control. Now rape is being redefined legally. Social conservatives are SCARING THE CRAP… Read more »
Wow, your response contains no factual based argument or logical thinking, and is limited to emotion, assumption, and conjecture. Considering that several of your followers in this thread have offered only the same, in addition to the usual liberal bunk, I won’t be waiting for their assessment of a debate performance. Thanks for contributing to an elevated discourse here at GMP, Mark.
Luckey,
How about we agree to disagree? Cause that’s pretty much all you and I will be doing for the foreseeable future. LOL
My reponse is awaiting “moderation”. How convenient.
*sigh* A cluster of cells is not a person. And what if it were? If another person plugs himself into your body to support his/her life, are you then obligated to let them do it? Should another person be able to dig into your body for the kidney they desperately need? How is that any different? (Because the naughty women have done the Bad Thing and had some sex and deserve the “consequences”, whereas in this scenario you’re just the innocent victim of a kidney thief, right?) A woman is a person, there’s no arguing that despite the GOP’s best… Read more »
“A cluster of cells is not a person.” – Actually, this is about a cluster of unique human cells. Leaving out the word “human” makes the abortion argument more palpable, but less honest. Anyway, pro-lifers believe that cluster of human cells is a person, and that as any other person it deserves legal protection. You don’t believe its a person, and hence has no legal protection. That’s the whole point of contention with the abortion issue. “And what if it were?” – If it was a person then the basic legal rights prescribed by the constitution apply to it. Unless… Read more »
First off, as the wife of an amazing SAHD, let me just say that I love the original post. Second, a question for Luckey: I’m going to die without an immediate organ transplant. You are a perfect donor match, the only one who can save me. Should the government compel you to donate an organ to save my life?
Cat: Actually, your question (analogy) is not even close to the same thing.
it’s exactly the same thing. The law can’t compel me to give up part of my body to save another person’s life in any circumstance. The law can’t force me to fonate a kidney. It can’t force me to give blood. It can’t force me to run into a burning building to save a life. Why is pregnancy different? There is no difference.
Exactly, Sarah. John, if you disagree, tell me why. You can’t just assert that it’s ‘not even close to the same thing’ without providing any rationale why. Having gone through two pregnancies — major medical events which can be life-threatening — I think it’s a pretty good analogy to organ donation. If you disagree, tell me why. I’m positing there’s no substantive difference between the government forcing me to carry out a pregnancy to save a life that only I can save and the government forcing me to donate an organ or bone marrow or whatever to save a life… Read more »
Easy answer. Abortion is an action. Not donating an organ is an inaction. The significant legal differences make it a faulty comparison.
And in fact, they’ve made women’s uteruses one of the top priorities of their platform. The GOP is putting this issue front and center on their own.
No Jill. They made unborn children (or whatever you label it) a top priority of their platfrom. If it was your uterus, they would propose prohibiting on a long list of surgeries that involves it, which they are not. I already proved your statement to be bunk. Next.
I do most of the work in our house. Actually I do all the housework in the house and I do the errands, school chaperoning, and run the kids around. Years ago men were asked to step up and we have. Also, when my wife was in law school we didn’t have parents that paid for our schooling. We had to take care of it and I worked 3 lousy jobs during that time. We heated our first home with candles. And lastly, in her defense, she is a Republican. Zing!
Way to insult men and women. Women are just so important to the world as long as they are willing to give up ownership of their bodies to the GOP. Men you apparently suck because you don’t push the kid out yourself, nevermind any contribution you make to the child’s life after that. I hope women and men insulted by this whole thing will use their votes to put a stop to all this hypocrisy!
Only about 2/3 of babies are born vaginally in the U.S. today. A full third are born by C-section. So, there are tens of millions of people out there who were never pushed out….
Pointless use of obscure statistics strikes again!
The real battle is in the family court when these stay at home dads need to divorce their cheating wife or abusive wife or get rid of her for whatever reason. Stay at home dads initiating divorce are not treated the same as stay at home moms.
I cannot comprehend this piece at all. Every other week I see dozens on pieces on sites like Jezebel that read EXACTLY like Ann Romney’s speech. Two months back, Lindy West wrote: ” Men work hard. Women work hard. But women, even in the most progressive households, are tacitly expected to be in charge of the household, even if we don’t personally wash every dish. Because it’s our domain. We’re just good at it. And when women ask for help—”Ugggh, my wife wants me to CLEAN OUT the GARAGE”—we’re branded as bitchy, naggy, sitcom wives.” source: http://jezebel.com/5921776/having-it-all-means-having-all-the-shitty-stuff-too How is this… Read more »
You’re right, Mike, this stuff doesn’t make any sense at all no matter who is saying it. In my home, I do more of the house work. That’s the way we have it arranged. Which makes Lindy West, uh…. how to put this delicately,…..totally wrong. (And don’t say I’m the exception Lindy, cause I’m not.)
That’s a good question Mike.
I really hope to hear some answers on this.
This “second-shift” for women Lindy West and many women talk about as a general truth is not a general truth. Sure it might exist for individuals, but as a society-wide phenomenon it simply does not exist. Men spend 0.03 hours more per day than women on work + household activities + child-care + consumer goods purchasing. Source: The American Time Use Survey 2011: http://www.bls.gov/news.release/atus.t01.htm Overall women tend more to the second shift while men tend more to the first shift. But overall both genders work pretty close to equally much on a daily basis. Yet another inconvenient truth many ignore… Read more »
I think you’re reading that wrong. “Work” and “consumer goods purchasing” aren’t in the same category as “household work” in that table. Why would you add them together?
Ok, if we remove consumer goods purshasing from the sum I presented as you seem to suggest we should do then men spend 0.15 hours more than women on work + household activities + child-care. (Since men only use 0.31 hours versus women’s 0.43 hours on consumer goods purchasing) The reason I added consumer goods purchasing to the sum was because I suspect a large part of it is grocery shopping, which is a chore. Another big part is probably shopping for clothes and shoes which can be either a leisure activity or a chore (I consider it a chore,… Read more »
I belatedly noticed that Jill, Head Geargal asked why I added “Work” and “Consumer goods purchasing” and I only answered why I added “consumer goods purchasing” to the sum of time spent by men and women. Lindy West and other people who talk about the second shift that women also does at least heavily implies that these women also do the first shift. The first shift is the wage-earning job – that is work. The complaint is that women who work full time also does the housework – the unspoken assumption is that these women works as much as their… Read more »
I think the difference is that the Jezebel piece recognizes women’s contributions outside the home whereas Ann Romney clearly thinks that women’s work INSIDE the home and being a mother is all that matters. Romney doesn’t even mention the fact that women have careers, just that they are “moms”.
Nope.
In Ann Romney’s full speech (the link is above) she specifically praises working parents of both genders.
@john hall … you made a great point. @Bonnie …. Whereas you don’t see yourself being helped by the Republican Party because you’re single without kids, I have to ask what you expect as a single female in todays society? What would you like any party to do specifically for you? Ann Romney is a mother, she spoke of her motherhood role which she is most familiar. As a husband of a stay at home mom and a father of a stay at home mom, it was nice to hear representation of who they are for a change. The stay… Read more »
Yes. Her speech made me very angry. I was not able to have kids and because of this it appears that I am worth nothing in her world. Never mind that I am a nurse who cares for people everyday. She is perpetuating a stereotype of what she thinks is the typical household. She is out of touch with the everyday lives of many people.
” I was not able to have kids and because of this it appears that I am worth nothing in her world…”
I think if you look into her religion that is probably pretty close to what she actually believes.
Oh I cannot even begin to deal with this.
I mean, yeah, she’s definitely reaching some women, but she’s alienating women like me who never want to be mothers – and who believe that men DO EFFING UNDERSTAND.
“It’s the mom’s of this nation, single, married, widowed, who really hold the country together. We’re the mothers. We’re the wives. We’re the grandmothers. We’re the big sisters. We’re the little sisters and we are the daughters.” Alright, I’m going to go overboard with nitpicking the language choices here. First of all, is she making a distinction between being single and being widowed? If you are a widow you are single by definition. If there is an appropriate distinction between being widowed and being single, then she should also mention “divorced” as a separate category as well. Second of all,… Read more »
Ay-freakin’-men to that last point.
Wellokaythen,
That last paragraph is so unbelievably good, it should be comment of the day. I’ll see what I can do about that…
I agree with the fact that the gender roles are more fluid than Mrs.Romney’s speech indicated. But what struck me is that she missed a whole segment of women who are simply trying to feed themselves in a world where marriage and the old antiquated views of who provides the bacon no longer exist. I happen to have children because I am rearing my niece and nephew but a few years back I was single women who was just trying to figure out where she fit in and Ann Romney words from last night did not do much to connect… Read more »
Tiff1916,
A whole ‘nother side of the speech I hadn’t even considered. Well said.
“They have ceded the single women to Obama.”
They sure have, they did that decades ago. They don’t approve of single women anyway. Where else do you think all the anti-abortion energy comes from anyway? It damned sure isn’t because they give a shit about a man’s rights to his kids. They talk fathers down all the time. No, it’s about hating on single women.
Yes, as a single unmarried woman without children, I feel there is no place for me in the Republican party. Which is too bad because I am not a hardcore liberal Democrat. I’m liberal on social issues but moderate on most other issues. I could be a swing voter but I feel the Republicans don’t want me in their tent. The whole argument that womenhood = motherhood says to me that I don’t count. Actually I’m their worst nightmare – a woman who has not followed the traditional path of marriage and kids.
@ Sarah – Your political views reflect mine perfectly. I am a pretty successful African American female. I went to law school, graduated and am now working at a financial institution. I have kids but this is because of my sister who was not really meant to be a parent. I never thought I was but I enjoy it. Still if I had to do it I would make the choice to remain childless because it is often, while it is a great job, it is really hard. Anyway, I love Obama. I gotta be upfront about that. I see… Read more »
I remember reading some time ago that there is a canadian show (ripped off from UK) called “The week the women left”, it was a popular show in its day. After the show was off the air, one of the producers was asked why they never made a sequel called “the week the men left”, his answer floored me. He basically said it was because all the major jobs that needed to be done in order to survive were done by the men, i.e water and sewage, police, firefighters, etc.
It’s the mom’s of this nation, single, married, widowed, who really hold the country together.
Now let’s sit back and wait for the people that go nuts when women’s efforts and work go unrecognized when it’s said that men are the ones that make this nation do the same here…
I am willing to be when Michelle Obama makes her speech it will be pandering to this idea as well, which IMHO, is what should make all fathers stand up and take notice RIGHT FREAKING NOW of how society views them, it views them as not ‘real’ parents but more of a mommy helper, nothing more. AND BTW, that is exactly how both sides of the political divide want it to be. There is great political power in motherhood and womanhood, I mean the US economy seems to be in the toilet and yet EVERYONE is focusing “What do women… Read more »
You’re right about the speech being a way to show that the GOP is woman-friendly. It’s a speech praising mothers and saying, essentially, that women are more important than men are. This is not all that different from what you hear Oprah pander, I mean say, on a regular basis. Notice as well how she seems to equate womanhood and motherhood. Her speech uses the two interchangeably. Understandably, though, she’s probably just playing the numbers or mobilizing her party’s base. If I had to guess, I’d say that single fathers would be a more likely to vote Democrat and stay… Read more »
Republicans always speak to the 1950s; rich Republicans actually live there, pining for the good old days of the 1890s when robber barons REALLY knew how to run things.