There Are No Gender Politics in the NICU – Baby With a ‘Bucket List’

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About Amie Lee

Amie is a photographer and stay at home mom who loves creating. She is a Midwest transplant who lives in West Phoenix with her husband Lamont, five children, and three dogs. She prefers backpacks to purses, loves documentaries and cupcakes, and is crazy about her family. Amie spends time volunteering in the NICU, and provides families with infant bereavement photography.

Comments

  1. This was beautiful. Thank you.

  2. There is nothing worse than being a NICU parent, but there is nothing greater than being a NICU parent who is blessed and lucky enough to take your child home.

    Our twins were both in the NICU for three weeks — and one had to be transported to a higher-level NICU after 36 hours. (She died and was revived en route.) We experienced the gut-wrenching lows, watching them turn a dial an 1/8 of an inch and hoping for incremental improvements — as well as the dizzying highs of being able to bring them home.

    I am grateful every day for our girls and their health, and the NICU experience (both good and bad) will be with me always.

    Thank you for sharing this. You’ve encapsulated the NICU experience in a way that both touched me and will educate others.

  3. Thank you for your kind words Harley. I’m happy to hear both of your girls made it home.

  4. Thank you for sharing your story, so many people are blessed to have healthy babies and smooth deliveries and never know hardships like yours. I see photos of -to me- enormous newborns in the arms of their smiling mothers and I think, how does that happen, they are born and magically are home in their cribs? Or hear comical stories of how your friend’s water broke. I never feel equiped with the right reaction. Your article truly captured the feeling of being there. The NICU puts life in perspective. It strips everything else away that you might have worried about before. Such a strange place you do not want to be, but are so grateful for. Our twin daughters were also in the NICU. It breaks my heart to learn about babies who did not make it home. I hope your hearts heal as much as they can and you continue to help educate others, you write in a way that really brings readers into your experience.

  5. Just to show that this is not something ‘new,’ that men and fathers have always been this way…

    My 80-year-old grandfather has told me many times how he sat in the NICU for days praying and crying–FOUR different times. My father’s body, along with two of his brothers’, and his sister’s, all rejected their mother’s blood when they were born. (None of them were multiples.) My father and one of his brothers survived. His other brother and his sister did not. My grandfather said how each time felt just as awful and painful as the last. That was over fifty years ago, and he still tears up when he talks about sitting in a rocking chair all night holding my father’s baby blanket and praying he’d make it until the morning.

  6. Your story brought tears to my eyes. I think of the pain you two have endured and give you a hand. My son was diagnosed with aortic valve stenosis and bicuspid aortic valve. it’s relatively common so I don’t worry, but there are some nights where I fear the worst for him and can’t help but tear up and feel that lump in my throat. I jelly pull him closer just to hear him breathing. I am also a stay at home parent and innit every moment I have with him. Signet it be him running up to me to give me a kiss or him throwing a tantrum. Lol much props goes out to you and your husband and tell him I said thank you for showing everyone what a father would go through for their child.

  7. Your story brought tears to my eyes. I think of the pain you two have endured and give you a hand. My son was diagnosed with aortic valve stenosis and bicuspid aortic valve. it’s relatively common so I don’t worry, but there are some nights where I fear the worst for him and can’t help but tear up and feel that lump in my throat. I just pull him closer just to hear him breathing. I am also a stay at home parent and enjoy every moment I have with him. wether it be him running up to me to give me a kiss or him throwing a tantrum. Lol much props goes out to you and your husband and tell him I said thank you for showing everyone what a father would go through for their child.

  8. I’ve been there, crying next to my son’s Nicu pod, staring out the window onto Broadway in Washington Heights, praying that my son wasn’t going to have to suffer. No one can comfort you, no one understands unless they too have a child in that situation.
    Thanks for sharing this, it’s beautiful and it’s why I never take for granted the fact that my son came home.

  9. Our first daughter Diana Victoria was born with Trisomy 13 and lived for 17 days in the NICU. My husband was by my side every single day, all day, taking care of our daughter.

    The morning she passed away, the neonatologist had tears in his eyes, because he just could not save her, nobody could really, we could just love her for whatever amount of days we had.

    We completely understand the separate world that is the NICU, there are no women or men, just parents, fighting for their babies and giving them all the love in their hearts.

    Thank you for sharing, God Bless.

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