Would You Pay For a Lab-Grown Penis?

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About Noah Brand

Noah Brand is an Editor-at-Large at Good Men Project, and possibly also a cartoon character from the 1930s. His life, when it is written, will read better than it lived. He is usually found in Portland, Oregon, directly underneath a very nice hat.


  1. Chicky Nobs freak me out, but I’d take a lab-grown sausage.

  2. Hey, can I ‘Supersize’ my order!

    • You know, as I think about it, I’d like to apologize on being so flippant in my comment above(crude humor attempt). If the technology in fact existsand can be developed, we owe it to these Brave Heros who sacrificed it all for us.

  3. courage the cowardly dog says:

    Folks deserve to pursue happiness however they feel they need to,

    Just not on my tax dollar. I have no problem funding this for the benefit of wounded vets, but when it comes to purely aesthetic purposes or to enhance some other guys sex life, let him pay for it himself.

    • You're an Idiot says:

      Your “tax dollars” are funding the research and experiments that will one day make this technology possible. You’re not going to be paying for actually growing and attaching someone else’s penis.

      Once this becomes possible, people who want a new penis only for cosmetic reasons will be responsible for paying for it themselves just like with any other cosmetic surgery and people who want a new penis because they’ve lost the original due to an accident will have their health insurance help them pay for it. You’r precious tax dollars won’t have anything to do with it unless, of course, the US government continues to screw the healthcare system. Then you will be paying for everyone’s new penis whether you like it or not.

      • For most of the guys who would elect to have their penis genetically enlarged, it isn’t a cosmetic issue. It’s about having equipment that is at least considered to be of a normal, average size. In other words, the smaller your penis is, the more likely you are to consider this when it becomes available. And yes, since my full erection is only about the size of a Bic lighter, I will probably be at the front of the line.

  4. cool!
    id certainly like my foreskin back

  5. Wow, it’s nice to hear that there’s some work being done in this field, as a Trans* man It’d be nice to have more choices because as it is… There aren’t many.

  6. Snake Oil Baron says:

    I’d, hypothetically, want to see how well they worked for reconstructive purposes before I’d slice the original for a better model. It might end up looking better but not being connected to the nerves as well as one had hoped.

    And actually, I can and did think of some sinister, if amussing, military usages for this but I think I will keep them to myself in the interests of national security. (*cough* Massive arrays for aquatic propulsion *cough*)

  7. brother1 says:

    how long will this take to be available? how much would it cost? will insurance pay?

  8. A few things. 1 how much do you think this will cost? when do you thing this will be ready? With this work for a man who has has erectile dysfunction for 23 years? how can i reach this DR?

  9. Guys, the latest news about this is from 2009, so obviously it’s been awhile since there have been any updates. I want to bring up a point I made in a reply to another comment, and it’s really simple.

    With everything we have been taught and what we know about sex, when you are smaller than average, it isn’t simply a cosmetic issue. Everyday, we are being told that bigger is better and made to feel worse about something we have no control over. And if you’re constantly around women, it’s even worse. Think of it like this : If you give a woman a choice between a beautiful man who is overweight or a thin man that looks like a troll, she’ll go for the troll 99 out of 100 times. Why? Because thinner is seen as healthier. Forget that any kids that come along will also be ugly as sin, because women don’t think that way.

    And with many women holding onto the belief that bigger is better, that doesn’t leave many viable options for those of us who don’t even have average equipment. It’s either take the time to find a virgin, visit prostitutes, or go through a never-ending cycle of broken relationships simply because you don’t “measure up.” Dr. Atala and his team are about to level the playing field, and for those of us who own small equipment, this will give us a much better chance at having a long-term relationship and a normal life.

    • Yeah, it /would/ be possible if he and his researchers would get off their lazy asses and actually start growing human penises. The last research they did was with mice in 2009. What happened, did they just quit? That was five years ago, plenty of time for them to have perfected a lab grown human penis by now.

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