For better or worse, my sporting fandom is inextricably linked to New England. Growing up in New York, going to school in Massachusetts, and now working for a bunch of Massholes, the NY-NE rivalry rubs up against everything I do. When the owners of the Red Sox bought my favorite soccer team, I cried tears of joy and sorrow. I locked myself in the bathroom because I didn’t know what else to do.
Naturally, last night’s Jets-Patriots game wasn’t all that fun. In case you missed the game, don’t have electricity in your house, and sleep past noon on Tuesdays, Uggs and Hoodie won, 45-3.
42 points.
That’s the worst Jets loss in 24 years. Yet, this is supposed to be the best Jets team in 24 years. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t add up. Or maybe it does.
The 9-2 Jets weren’t the Jets. The Jets don’t play as favorites—let alone play well. This is the team that passed up Dan Marino for Ken O’Brien. This is the team that employed Wayne Chrebet, the undrafted, gloveless mini-mite. Their franchise quarterback for the better part of the last decade had a weaker arm than Gumby.
The Jets look for reasons to be underdogs.
The always-brilliant Chris Jones riffed on this over at his blog. Although he’s Canadian-born, Jones actually watches football without two 50-yard lines. And he’s drawn to the Jets because they’re so bad at being good:
The Jets, though, have always been my football team, because they’ve pretty much always been a disappointment. There was a comfort in knowing that I could pledge my allegiance to a succession of loveable losers; Curtis Martin remains my all-time favorite Jet, because he was good, even capable of greatness, but ultimately doomed because of his fragile knees and green-and-white jersey.
At 9-2, it didn’t feel right.
Wait, we actually have a good quarterback? Did someone just call our offense “explosive?”
Winning the nail-biters against the Lions, Texans, and Browns didn’t make sense. The Jets don’t win close games. Who were these guys?
Thankfully, the Patriots put the world back on its axis last night:
Monday night’s “performance” was just what I needed to find room again for Rex Ryan’s Snackables in my heart. Blown coverage, blatant pass interference, wildly missed field goals, a twelve-yard punt … In their most anticipated game of the season, against their arch-rival New England Patriots, the Jets showed the rest of the country how, exactly, they will answer the loudest of bells: They’ll throw up all over themselves.
Oh, how I’ve missed them.
So, Pats fans, you might be in first place, you might have home field in the playoffs, and you might have humiliated us, but we wouldn’t have it any other way.
That’s what I’m telling myself.
The only reason the Jets beat the Patriots in Week 2 is because Logan Mankins hadn’t settled his contract dispute, Brady felt obligated to throw to Randy Moss and the young defense hadn’t even come close to gelling yet. Now our best offensive lineman is back, Moss is gone and Deion Branch is amazing and the defense is shored up with Devin McCourty looking like the next Ty Law while guys like Jermaine Cunningham, Tully Banta-Cain and Kyle Arrington are maturing into their roles. The Jets are not the real deal. They got very lucky this year in games against… Read more »
You cried because the owner of the Red Sox bought a team you like. You locked yourself in the closet? If this is true, seriously? If it isn’t, how is this funny?
Sorry man, you lost me there.
I hope Rex Ryan and his fat mouth chokes on a Momma Cass ham sandwich. The best coaches in the league show up on game day, they don’t talk about showing up. Challenge on spot of a ball, 12 punt, did i mention the picks yet? That was a truly aweful perfomance by the J E T S. The jsts are going to crash and burn now that they have to play teams with winning records. Go Pats!!!
Dude you sound like a Red Sox fan circa 1987. Let’s get real, you Jets fans are worthless and weak New Yorkers. A step below the Wall Street Yankee fans. There were a dozen real men at a bar watching, screaming, high-fiving, chest-bumping somewhere in the Back Bay and I was one of them.
Really a 12 yard punt? And you want us to feel SORRY for you? After all that smack from Ryan and your wideouts? No, I really enjoyed all 60 minutes.
Your #1 Masshole