Incels: Septic Subculture With a Side of Coercive Cult

Technically, I am an incel. I don’t date often, and I have sex even more infrequently. I very much want to form romantic and sexual partnerships, but I struggle to do so, even though I am smart, have solid social skills, am successful, and am reasonably attractive.

There are many men who will read this and say that my inability to find partners is because I’m angry at toxic masculinity. Because my standards are too high.

Do you hear it? These are the same things that men who cling to the incel movement complain about. They’re angry at women. They believe that they deserve a “high value” woman, never mind what they do or do not have to offer.

It can be hard to understand how men with even a single brain cell could possibly fall for the rhetoric spewed by incel influencers such as Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson.

There are a few differences here, of course, the largest of which is that when looking for a partner, I view cis men — everyone, really — as a human being. Incels do not see women the same way. I also understand that the universe does not owe us partners, which again runs counter to incel ideology. Lastly, I’m secure in myself, and would rather be alone than to compromise on the things that I want in a partner. Incels see being alone as a fate worse than death, and this is, of course, the fault of those pesky women who won’t give them what they want.

For many of us, it’s easy to see that one of these patterns of thought is healthy and rational, and that the other is, to put it kindly, loony tunes. It can be hard to understand how men with even a single brain cell could possibly fall for the rhetoric spewed by incel influencers such as Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson. Hard to understand, that is, unless we look at men like Tate and Peterson the same way we look at Jim Jones and his People’s Temple, David Koresh and the Branch Dividians, Keith Raniere of NXIVM, and Jeff and Shaleia Divine of Twin Flames Universe.

All of the above are cults, led by charismatic people who prey on the vulnerable in order to further their own agendas.

So is incel culture, and to the men vulnerable to it, this discourse is anything but looney.

Incel Culture: A Cult in the Making

Incel culture is a phenomenon labelled a “growing terrorist threat” by the U.S. Secret Service. At its core, the term “incel” refers to people, usually cis men, who feel they are unable to form romantic or sexual relationships despite wanting them. While it may seem like a relatively harmless subculture at first glance, when we look closer at how incel communities work — how they operate, the beliefs they promote, and the figures they idolize — it’s clear that in many ways, incel culture functions like a cult.

What is Incel Culture?

While the term “incel” was originally coined by a Canadian woman named Alana, it was quickly co-opted by its current definition — individuals who struggle with social interactions and dating, often feeling rejected by society, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. Incel communities were originally formed as support groups for people who felt alienated and wanted to connect with others facing similar struggles. Over time, these communities have morphed into something much darker — places where resentment, entitlement, misogyny, and violence are openly promoted.

The frustration and bitterness that stem from these beliefs have led to the development of an ideology that not only demonizes women but also promotes toxic masculinity and, in extreme cases, violence.

Many members of incel communities believe that society is rigged in favor of attractive, successful men they term Chads, “Chads”, and conventionally attractive women, called “Stacys”, leaving them — often self-identified as “betas” — to suffer in isolation. The frustration and bitterness that stem from these beliefs have led to the development of an ideology that not only demonizes women but also promotes toxic masculinity and, in extreme cases, violence. This sense of injustice is often channeled into a collective worldview that mirrors the psychological dynamics seen in cults.

Cult-Like Features of Incel Culture

A Rigid and Unquestionable Belief System

One of the most defining characteristics of cults is a rigid, “all-or-nothing” belief system. Incel communities share this trait. At the heart of incel ideology is the idea that certain people — particularly women — are inherently evil or unfair, and that men who don’t fit certain physical or social molds are doomed to remain alone forever. This belief system is reinforced by constant echo chambers online, where members post content that supports these views, rarely allowing any dissenting opinions. In a cult, followers are often taught to see the world in black-and-white terms — good versus evil, us versus them — and incel culture follows this pattern. For instance, men are victims, and women, particularly those seen as “Stacys,” are perceived as gatekeepers of sexual and romantic fulfillment. There is little room for nuance or questioning of these ideas. Over time, members can become more entrenched in these beliefs, seeing the world through a lens of victimhood and resentment, in that same way that cult followers adopt the belief system of their leaders.

Charismatic Leaders and Influencers

Cults often have charismatic leaders who act as spiritual or ideological guides for their followers, and incel communities are no different. Popular incel creators — whether they are YouTubers, bloggers, or social media influencers — act as the voices of authority within the community. These individuals often position themselves as “truth-tellers” who expose the supposed “reality” of modern relationships, gender dynamics, and societal injustices. Leaders in the incel world, notably Andrew Tate, often provide a platform for their followers to rally around. They justify their anger and frustration by explaining that they are the ones who truly understand how society works. These creators may mix personal anecdotes with pseudo-scientific explanations or extreme political rhetoric to promote their beliefs, attracting followers who feel similarly isolated and alienated. These figures are more than just content creators — they become leaders and role models for those looking for answers. This is the same method employed by cult leaders — they offer a sense of direction and purpose for people who are struggling with feelings of loneliness or disillusionment. For many followers, these creators become trusted sources of validation and insight, reinforcing the very ideas that keep them entrenched in the incel mindset.

Isolation and “Us vs. Them” Mentality

Cults often seek to isolate their members from the outside world, creating an “us vs. them” mentality that makes it harder for followers to see other perspectives. Incel communities thrive in this environment of isolation, with members interacting primarily within closed forums, subreddits, and chat rooms. These spaces create echo chambers where incels can share their frustrations, reinforce each other’s beliefs, and validate their negative views about women and society. This isolation also discourages relationships with people who might challenge the group’s ideology. If a person starts to feel the influence of incel culture, they may be encouraged (either overtly or subtly) to cut ties with friends and family who are seen as “normies” — people who live regular, “successful” lives. This is another classic cult behavior: cutting members off from the outside world makes them more dependent on the group and its beliefs.

The language is often used to reinforce ideas of social stratification and despair, drawing clear lines between “winners” and “losers” in the dating world.

Specialized Language and Rituals

Cults often develop a unique language or set of symbols that only followers understand, helping to create a sense of belonging. Incel culture has done the same thing. Terms like “Chad,” “Stacy,” “inceldom,” and “black pill” are used to describe specific members of the social hierarchy, and this jargon helps solidify a collective identity. The language is often used to reinforce ideas of social stratification and despair, drawing clear lines between “winners” and “losers” in the dating world. There are also rituals and behaviors that members engage in, such as sharing “red pill” content (a reference to the idea of “awakening” to the “truth” about gender dynamics) or using specific online platforms to vent frustrations. These rituals serve to strengthen the group’s identity and beliefs, creating a sense of camaraderie among followers.

Psychological Manipulation and Control

At the core of many cults is the use of psychological manipulation, and incel creators are adept at using these tactics to keep followers hooked. They prey on feelings of loneliness, rejection, and low self-esteem, providing a framework that explains why things are the way they are — and why they shouldn’t be blamed for their situation. Instead of encouraging self-improvement or healthy social interactions, many incel communities perpetuate a mindset of external blame. The idea that “Chads” and “Stacys” are responsible for their suffering becomes a comforting explanation for many followers. This manipulation can be incredibly powerful, especially when people are feeling vulnerable or isolated, as it gives them a narrative that justifies their anger and frustration.

The Danger of Incel Culture

The consequences of incel culture are lethal. Radicalized incels have been linked to acts of violence, with a number of high-profile mass shootings attributed to individuals who identified with the movement. This is a direct result of the toxic, hate-driven rhetoric that is often promoted by prominent figures within the community. The cult-like nature of incel culture means that it can trap people in a cycle of negativity and resentment, making it difficult for them to break free. The more someone becomes entrenched in these beliefs, the harder it becomes to see things from a different perspective.

I want to be perfectly clear here that, at the end of the day, I still believe that men who become entrenched in incel culture are making the choice to buy into the hatred to be found within. Information is power, however, and by looking at incel culture as a cult can help us to understand how and why otherwise normal-seeming men can become entrenched in this ideology. And as non-cis men, by making ourselves aware of the existence of such communities, we have yet another tool with which to detect red flags and to keep ourselves safe.

Sources:

Richardson, J. T. (2004). Cults: The Emerging New Religions. University of Toronto Press.
M. K. (2021). “Why Incel Communities Are More Than Just Groups of Angry Men.” Psychology Today.
Gosling, S. D. et al. (2011). “A Room with a Viewpoint: The Role of Incel Forums in Gendered Online Spaces.” Journal of Social Psychology.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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