Stop Outsourcing Your Emotions

Emotions energize action. They drive conversations, fuel decisions, and shape the future.
But emotional energy is hard to manage. It’s easier to blame than to reflect.

Leadership magnifies emotions. You can feel discouraged, inspired, and frustrated before lunch. No emotion moves faster or hits harder than anger.

Anger energizes immediate action. Used recklessly, anger burns opportunity.

Frustration means you care.

Be custodian of your emotions:

Reclaim your power by owning your emotions. Your anger belongs to you.

Stop pretending you’re powerless.

Stop shifting responsibility to others.

Don’t expect others to fix your emotions.

Stop saying:

“You made me mad.”
“I’m just tired and stressed.”
“I can’t take it when…”
“They pushed my buttons.”
“I’m just being real.”
“It’s just how I am.”
“I can’t help it.”

Expecting others to soothe your emotions is an excuse. Learn to harness emotional energy.

Resolve your own anger:

#1. See yourself.

Anger reveals more about you than others. Anger shows what you don’t want. Turn attention toward things you want.

Reflect on what matters to you. Define what YOU will do to pursue it.

Anger is bullying when you use it to pressure others.

#2. Speak the truth.

Say what you see. Explain the impact on you and others.

Kind honesty reduces resentment.

#3. Set boundaries.

Fear hides behind anger. Courage sets boundaries. Define what’s acceptable. Clarify what’s not.

Boundaries reduce confusion, frustration, and resentment.

#4. Make provision.

People mess up. Expect it. Provide the resources they need to succeed. Tolerance is wisdom, not weakness.

#5. Change yourself.

Sometimes anger says it’s time to grow. Adjust expectations. Shift your approach. Learn something new.

Own your anger before it owns you.

TIP: Venting is the worst thing you can do with anger. (Bushman)

What’s the most useful expression of anger?

Why Maya Angelou Believed in Anger

—

Previously Published on leadershipfreak with Creative Commons License

***

Does dating ever feel challenging, awkward or frustrating?

Turn Your Dating Life into a WOW! with our new classes and live coaching.

Click here for more info or to buy with special launch pricing!

***

On Substack? Follow us there for more great dating and relationships content.

Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.

All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS. A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community. A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities. A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.