Your Anger at Women Might Not Be Your Fault

We’re living in a dangerous time where too many men feel angry and disillusioned with women and dating.

It’s dangerous not only because of all these “gender wars,” but also because of how certain major tech companies are screwing with your brain. Big time.

As a men’s dating coach, nearly every single one of my clients have said they experienced resentment toward women at some point in their lives.

Online, they see a lot of content about how women say extremely nasty things about men, how they treat men like ATM machines, how women are hypergamous and incapable of love, and other messages propagated by the “red pill” and other “manosphere” communities.

They are led to believe that women have it so much easier in dating compared to men. They feel like women hold all the power, that women can easily get all the love and affection and sexual validation they want with just a fraction of the effort men have to put forth in order to get those same things.

This is what breeds the resentment.

My clients often ask me how to stop feeling resentment so they can focus more on the kind of love that I preach in my book and blog posts here.

The most direct answer is to “touch grass” as the kids say nowadays. Getting off the computer and befriending a diverse array of women face to face will show you that women aren’t the monsters portrayed in these online echo chambers. Taking the time to listen to women’s stories face to face will help you realize that they also face significant challenges that you may have never even considered. And actually putting yourself out there while implementing some new flirting skills might just give you the connection and escape from loneliness that you’ve been craving.

However, it’s unreasonable to tell someone to live off the grid.

We have become dependent on the internet.

We need it.

No matter what, we will use the internet every single day.

When we are using the internet, though, most of us use one or more of the major social media sites or apps: Facebook, Youtube, Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter (X is a stupid name).

These companies are sabotaging your dating life.

While it’s great that the internet helps us connect with likeminded people from all around the world, modern algorithms are designed to suck you into echo chambers that shape your brain in dangerous ways.

They give you a warped perception of reality.

They make you think women are morally bankrupt, that disproven armchair psychology is accurate, and that the Trump administration can do no wrong.

Wait, what was that last part?

Youtuber Benaminute ran a little experiment to test how fast social media sites pull you into echo chambers in a half-hour-long video called Which Social Media Traps Me In An Echo Chamber First?

Don’t worry; you don’t need to watch this video to get anything I talk about here! It’s just here to give credit where credit’s due.

He measured how long it took for the algorithms to present ten pieces of content he agreed with in a row (such as content about left-leaning politics and Buddhist philosophy) when interacting with “likes.” He did the same with content he didn’t agree with such as topics like political conservatism, Christianity, and being an “alpha male.”

He refers to the views he aligns with as “blue pilled” while he refers to the views he doesn’t align with as “red pilled.”

His results? Overall, it didn’t take much time at all to be pulled into any sort of echo chamber. However, it took on average only half the time to get pulled into “red pilled” echo chambers.

It’s also interesting to note that, when he was in a blue pilled echo chamber on TikTok, he still constantly saw content from the White House praising the Trump administration. We call that propaganda. And needless to say, since Elon Musk owns Twitter, Benaminute still constantly saw right-wing rhetoric directly from Musk’s posts on there.

These companies designed their algorithms to make you more red pilled. They want you to align with the alt-right. They want you to vote Republican so the people who own these huge tech companies can continue to get tax breaks. It just so happens that these right-wing views also neatly coincide with all these negative views of women that make you more resentful and thus less successful in dating.

The average young man using these social media sites becomes more resentful toward women because these right-wing echo chambers are being pushed on him at twice the rate of non-right-wing echo chambers.

These companies are profiting off his misery. Your misery.

You might think that your resentment is justified because dating is already hard to begin with as a man, but it’s a vicious feedback loop.

Further resentment makes dating even harder. It gets a lot easier after you escape resentment. Oh, and dating is also hard as a woman in different ways; we don’t need to think of any resentment as justified in the first place.

You need to actively and consciously curate your social media feeds.

I don’t see any content in my feeds from Jordan Peterson, Andrew Tate, or anyone else suggesting that women are inferior or overprivileged.

My Instagram feed is completely full of hot models and cute animals. Kitties and titties, I call it. It’s a happy place. Whenever I see “red pill” content I know is bullsh*t, I actively tell the algorithm to hide that crap. I press the little info button and click “I’m not interested.”

I suggest you do the same if you’re looking to escape resentment and start pursuing love. Curate your social media feeds as if you’re taking care of your own body and brain. Make sure that the content you see aligns with how the real world women you befriended actually are.

Your closest female friends and family members are likely sweet, generous, loving, empathetic, and compassionate.

If they’re not, go out and make more female friends. You’re missing out. I promise you that the real world is full of wonderful women who are nothing like the red pill conservatives tell you. And the dating lives of real women certainly aren’t full of sunshine and rainbows like the red pill assumes they are.

The more you befriend various kinds of women, the more you will see that a lot of the arguments from red pill echo chambers that make men resentful have tons of holes. Once you’ve done that and curated your feeds, come talk to me if you’re ready to find those real, loving connections.

Let’s take the next step toward finding your home in the arms of the women you love.