For instance, the fear of failure in starting your own business, especially when it relates to a skill you are well established in and know that you are quite passionate about. If you don’t make a profit, then that experience is automatically determined to be a Failure. But should it? How about the Success of never having to wonder what if you should have pursued that dream? How about the Success of perhaps learning one way that did not work out but may inform a future pursuit so that you choose a way that does work out? How about the Success of listening to your own desires over your beliefs related to Supposed To Be’s? Supposed To Be someone who plays it safe. Supposed To Be someone who does what others expect of them. Supposed To Be someone who listens to “good sense” instead of what excites them.
Relationships, relocating, beginning a new hobby, and so on – there are so many times where the definitions of Success and Failure are skewed entirely too heavy in Failure’s favor. I think sometimes your fears can be a compass. The things that you fear the most may be the greatest opportunities to explore yourself and who you are capable of becoming. Maybe it is not the pursuit that is driving the fear, but the fear of failure that is driving the fear of taking that leap.
I have lost people I have dearly loved. I think we would both want each other to have lived a life of freedom and authenticity over excessive playing it safe. I am inspired at how many lives within a life that I saw in someone’s life. And I think they would approve of me pursuing the same for myself in my own way. And so it could be true for you as well – I believe true love and affection for someone makes room for expansion and uncertainty. If you go off and pursue a dream, there is the uncertainty that you may return to home or to a relationship as a different person with more maturity and with broader perspectives. But I think if someone loves you, they will make space for broader versions of you beyond what is familiar to them.
Don’t be so afraid of learning lessons that may hurt a little but expand you in powerful ways that prepare you for that right opportunity when it does come. You are going to be okay. You’ve got this!
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