I have no control over what happens to me. I can be quiet inside amidst what happens to me. Calm amidst the storm.
Many years ago, the late Mizukami Sensei said, “When you feel the most pressure, that’s when your mind is the most calm.” Sensei taught me the koan: Mushin. Mushin. In Japanese, mushin means “no mind” or “empty mind”. The phrase translates: If you think about having an empty mind, then out don’t have one.
I can only create from nothing, from mushin. I create my Aikido, create myself from mushin. I create when I’m quiet inside, when I’m calm, regardless of what happens outside of me. That’s not just in Aikido, when the bigger stronger man attacks me. That’s for when life happens.
The purpose of Aikido is to release my fear. I wait it out and enter the attack. I take a glancing blow if I have to. I’m not always going to get away scot-free. It’s one time. The safest place to be is under the attack in the danger.
In Aikido practice, Ishibashi Sensei reminds, “You have time.” I hold my position under the attack, in the danger. I make my timing. I’m quiet inside. I practice calm inside. Whether it’s the sword or the punch, I wait out the attack. I enter the attack, get in the danger. I hold my position under the attack. I match the attack with my attack. I have time.
I apply the Aikido technique to myself, not to the attacker. O-Sensei Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” I overcome myself, not the attacker. I’m my greatest enemy, my greatest opponent, not the attacker. I work on myself, not on them. That’s all on me.
The late Kobayashi Sensei said, “When someone attacks you, they are asking for your help.” I heal the space between the attacker and me. I invite the attack. I don’t oppose the attack. I bring the attacker to my center. I match my center with their center. I match their attack with my attack.
The attacker attacks with their bad energy, whatever fear, whatever bad intentions. I wait it out. I hold my position, under the attack. I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough. I don’t oppose. I don’t resist. I match my center with the attacker’s center. I match my heart with their heart. I can change their heart with my heart. I try to heal the space, the difference between us.
Hanshi said, “You train not to kill.” I train not to harm anyone even when they attack. Someone attacks, because they are asking for help, because they are suffering inside. They are missing something inside themselves. I can let the attack pass or end the attack. The attacker can choose to continue their attack or stand down. I give the attacker a choice. We both choose.
In the space between us, I can heal their heart with my heart. I’m quiet inside. I have peace inside me. The attacker can accept kindness or not. They choose. They can choose to heal themselves, too. That’s the higher purpose of the training. It’s not all about me. It’s about others, about them. We give life. We don’t take it.
I can do the same whether the angry 250-pound man punches to my face or a woman, I love, says, “I don’t love you.” I heal the space between us. I open up. I open my heart. I let go my fear inside that I’m not good enough over, and over, and over again. I work on myself, not on others. I heal myself. Maybe that’s the possibility for them to heal, too.
I have no control over what happens to me or what happens outside of me. I determine what goes on inside me. I work on myself, not on others. I’m quiet inside. I’m calm inside. I create the best version of myself from nothing. Maybe, that helps others create the best version of themselves, too.
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