Sure, humans have evolved. However, one thing that has not changed is our inherent need for relationships. What has changed is how we connect.
It is scientifically proven that humans who don’t have loving and meaningful relationships do not thrive.
So, as humans, we seek to create and sustain meaningful relationships, be it with family, friends or a romantic partner. If none of these exist we will struggle with our day-to-day activities.
Dating and relationships have changed from the traditional courtship to a technology bit connection. Swipe right means yes, swipe left means no. We are truly becoming more and more disconnected. And, we now convince ourselves that is “okay” to be ALONE. When in fact being alone increases depression, anxiety, problems at work, inability to connect with others and an unrealistic sense of reality. Thus it is in our best interest to create and sustain meaningful relationships.
Men and women have the same inherent need to connect—yet we have been reprogrammed to disconnect. This does not benefit us. Not as individuals and not as part of the human race. Our lives depend on our ability to connect with others.
We must be willing to adapt, to change or be willing to find communities and groups that are operating on the same systems if we are to connect with one another.
Women are more relationship-prone than men, while men are more prone to procreate. This disparity between men and women affect women’s ability to concentrate, connect and or feel good. Since men do not have the same physical and emotional drive, they do not experience the lack thereof a relationship in the same manner as women do.
For this reason, more women have been reprogrammed to feel good being single and alone. However, this new mindset does not benefit either party. Instead, if we are to thrive as humans, men and women must decide to accept the new programming that says being alone is better. Or we must seek ways to fulfill our inherent requirements.
Why Men Are Choosing to Be Single
More and more men are seeking to be single because they want to escape the out-dated belief system that places men in a nine-to-five, to pay for a house and a family, while his wife stays at home raising the children. In fact, there are whole movements being formed that are centered around men choosing to be single for LIFE. There’s a growing view out there that women are nice to have around but essentially “unnecessary.” I think this is based on men’s ever-growing refusal to conform to the societal expectations.
The standoff between men and women has to change. Times are changing, therefore so must we. This does not mean any of us should settle or forgo our values or completely ditch our beliefs. What it means is that if we are going to survive then we need to secure our relationships to thrive.
For women, this might mean changing their roles. Since most marriages, whereas the man proposed, end in divorce perhaps women can change the construct by being the pursuant. That means that women seek the most viable companion, then pursue and perhaps secure the relationship that would be most beneficial for them.
Today’s men are looking for life partners, not domestic liabilities. That means that each person comes into the relationship giving all they have to make the relationship work.
Some women will argue men are not the ones that carry and give birth to a child. However, this does not mean a man is financially responsible to the woman, but more so to the child. And, let’s be real, there are many ways that a man can contribute to the quality of life to his children, and not all of them are monetarily.
To conclude, when it comes to relationships men and women want the same things: love, respect, and acceptance. What differs is how each party goes about getting what they want, need and require. Today more and more men and women are opting to be single or okay with being single. However, this does not benefit either party as individuals or as a collective. Relationships are essential to our survivability. If we are to survive, we need to rethink and recalibrate our belief systems when it comes to dating and relationships.
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This story has been adapted and republished to Medium.
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash
Young men have heard recurring messages for most of their lives: “Men are toxic!”, “Women don’t need men!”, “Men should be made to pay!” (In the case of a divorce. Should anyone be surprised why these young men choose to be single?