“For one human being to love another is perhaps the most difficult task of all, the epitome, the ultimate test. It is that striving for which all other striving is merely a preparation.” – Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young poet
We have been fed a lot of myth about romantic love from Hollywood flicks and childhood fairytales, but if you have lived enough life, you would know that love is not just about making swoony declarations and going on romantic dinner dates.
In real life, love is about being authentic and vulnerable with your partner. It is about noticing the little things, like how your partner’s eyes light up when they talk about things they are passionate about, it is about knowing how they like their coffee, how they like to be touched when they are sad and when they are turned on.
It is about being each other’s best friend and cheerleader. It is about having each other’s back and growing in life together.
There are a lot of lists floating around about the little things that make women happy. But I think guys equally deserve to feel love and affection.
If you have got a good guy in your life, he deserves to feel loved and appreciated.
I have compiled a list of 7 seemingly minor things that mean the world to men. Here you go:
1) Give him heartfelt compliments
We have been conditioned to believe that it’s a men’s prerogative to compliment girls. That man they do not care as much about their looks and do not fend for compliments. But let me break the myth to you, guys care as much as girls and they want to be appreciated and noticed by the person they love.
So, the next time you like something about your guy, whether it’s the way he dresses up or his new hairstyle or the way he smiles or the way he treats you, do not forget to compliment him about that.
A genuine heartfelt compliment goes a long way in making the other person feel loved and appreciated.
2) Be grateful and appreciative of what he does for you
Whether your partner works outside the home or takes care of the household chores. He is trying his best to be the provider for you and the family.
Whether we recognize it or not, men are under tremendous pressure due to playing the role of being the bread earner. The society values them according to the kind of money they make. As crappy as it may sound but that’s the sad reality of the society we live in.
No matter how much he loves his work, there would be days when he would feel like yelling at his boss or just taking a break from all the mess but he does not do that because he takes the responsibility of being the provider very seriously.
It will go a long way if you just tell him that you appreciate everything that he does for you and the family. Tell him that you see and appreciate his commitment and hard work.
It’s not about the money –yours or his – but it’s about appreciating and encouraging each other in the journey together and working as a team.
3) Make things hot and dreamy in the bedroom
Intimacy is more than just being sexual. It is about being open, authentic and vulnerable with your partner. It is about letting your guard down and letting in playfulness.
It is about giving your partner space to be 100% themselves. It is about trusting your partner with all your heart and loving them unconditionally.
Guys do not only crave love making, they also want to feel loved and desired and they value intimacy as much as you.
Get as creative as you want to be to let him know that you love and desire him.
4) Give him space and alone time
Let’s be honest, this one is the hardest to do. But this is also the most important thing to do.
All of us need some alone time to recharge. Be it in the form of meditation, exercise, reading, hiking, surfing or any other activity.
Every person has his own interest areas and hobbies he has all the rights to pursue and nurture them.
Whenever your guy wants to take time off to do the things that interest him, don’t be sad or rude. Instead, see him off with a smile and support him.
He will totally appreciate your understanding and support and will be all the more loving when he gets back.
A little separateness makes life interesting. It gives you a lot to talk about and enriches your life.
You can schedule your alone time and we time in a way that it enriches your life and makes it more exciting.
5) Put your phone aside
This one is another bummer. We are all guilty of it. But trust me I have consciously tried to work on this and I am so glad that I did.
Whenever I am with my partner, I put the phone down, no matter what text or notification is coming.
And it has helped me to notice such intricate and beautiful details about my partner and has deepened my love for him.
I could notice the spark in his eyes, his childlike smile, his artistic fingers, how animated he is when he talks and a lot of intricate details and mannerisms that I would have missed if I kept staring at my phone while talking to him.
The best gift that you can give to someone is your undivided time and attention. It’s also the most difficult because we are so busy in social media distractions.
Just make a vow to yourself that you would be in the present moment whenever you are with your partner without any distractions and give them your undivided attention.
You will be surprised at how much it makes the other person feel seen, heard and loved and how much it makes your bond grow stronger.
6) Be thoughtful in expressing love
Love is not about cheesy social media posts or big declarations. It is about the little thoughtful things we do for our partners.
For example, your partner has a bad day at work and comes back home visibly upset while you had a great day at work.
If you are thoughtful and sensitive, you would ask them about what went wrong and try to cheer them up and postpone talking about how great your day was to a later time when they feel better.
For example, you are making tea for yourself or getting yourself a glass of water and you get the same for your partner.
For example, you are vacationing and you get a gift for them when you get back.
These are all little things but they go a long way in expressing that your partner is on your mind and you care about them.
7) Let your eyes do the talking
I know it sounds clichéd but there’s nothing more magical and beautiful than letting your eyes do the talking.
Eyes are said to be the window to the soul and nothing is more romantic than making a good eye contact while talking.
I am not referring to staring longingly into your partner’s eyes like some crazy stalker but I am talking about that subtle, playful, soul gazing kind of eye contact.
It makes the other person feel loved and wanted and piques their curiosity and interest in you.
It is little things like these that are worth their weight in gold that go a long way in building a beautiful, happy and long-lasting relationship.
They are not as easy to practice as they sound because they require an incredible amount of openness, authenticity, and vulnerability.
But trust me they are totally worth it if they bring a smile on your partner’s face and strengthen your bond.
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