1500 Words

By Omeleto

What would you do if you went to the doctors and discovered that you only had 1500 words left to live? What would you say? Are some words more important than others?

Stanley Franks is told by his doctor he has only 1500 words left to live. To keep himself alive, he has to use as few words as possible. But with his marriage in the balance, it’s a difficult battle.

This dark comedy has an unusual premise, one that can skew surreal or slapstick, depending on the treatment. But director Andrew Chaplin uses the set-up to explore relationships, communication and connection, making for a film that’s alternately charming, funny and heartbreaking all at once.

“1500 Words” has its darkly comic moments, but with a dryly funny voiceover, excellent performances all around and deft camerawork to capture it all, it also hits real moments of empathy and vulnerability.

The result is a memorable, entertaining film whose emotional core is highly recognizable and relatable, making for a story that resonates well after its jokes and laughs land. Having only a few words left to live might be an outlandish situation to play out on screen, but it’s also an interesting thought experiment to apply to one’s own life.

Transcript provided by YouTube:

00:04
[Music]
00:08
in we’ve had the test results in the
00:11
past they’re white but no surprise then
00:13
bad news is the results themselves when
00:17
Stanley Franks was told hit 1500 words
00:20
left to live this reaction could be said
00:22
to consist of five distinct stages
00:25
firstly anger then came despair then a
00:41
terrible thirst a brief half-hearted
00:45
attempt of suicide
00:46
[Music]
00:48
and finally quiet resignation
00:51
when he’d finished the doctor
00:53
straightened his tie reunited to scale
00:55
down with his tibia uninformed Stanley
00:58
thought the total noise stood at fifty
01:01
he handed Stanley a silver metallic
01:04
counter and then returned to ridin a
01:06
ladder in which he explained to his wife
01:08
that he was running off the local
01:10
oncologist called Patricia
01:12
[Music]
01:27
if you’re really struggling
01:29
[Music]
01:32
you can call this number
01:34
[Music]
01:41
thank you doctor police ever since
01:51
Stanley wondered how I was going to tell
01:53
Julia he reasoned that 46 words should
02:02
be more than enough to sustain a loving
02:04
relationship they’d known each other
02:06
since school
02:07
what more really needed to be said plus
02:10
she wasn’t good with big news he’d seen
02:12
out his first time with the whole
02:13
Princess Diana episode in the end
02:20
Stanley decided the best thing to do was
02:22
just not tell her and see how that went
02:24
[Music]
02:27
Stanley had worked out that the majority
02:29
of a relationship the real Crist was
02:31
spent in silence anyway
02:33
40% of it you slept then you had Aden
02:37
brushing your teeth
02:38
watching TV taking the pen side that
02:43
left maybe 30% of your day to worry
02:45
about
02:45
[Music]
03:00
Stanly find that the best method to fill
03:03
any potentially awkward silences was a
03:05
combination of winking long meaningful
03:08
eye contact and playful punches on the
03:10
owner every now and again he would adorn
03:17
her with exotic and unusual words as if
03:19
they were precious stones words like
03:22
beatitude and occasionally soliloquy
03:33
however after a while julia had had
03:37
enough of all the winking their arm
03:38
punching and the staring at her while
03:40
she slept
03:42
the silence began to fill the house
03:45
quietly like a gas leak until it was
03:48
eventually broken by the four words that
03:50
stanley had been dreading
03:54
we need to talk
03:56
[Music]
04:05
Stanley went to the place he always went
04:08
to in times of strife
04:12
the woods bond with a 12-pack of super
04:16
strength Danish lager dairy drank I
04:20
drank until language lost all meanings
04:23
verbs tenses cases collapsed around him
04:27
grammar dissolved pronouns prolapsed
04:30
words became strange guttural noises he
04:38
drank until he was just another animal
04:39
Haven and lowing at the midday Sun he
04:43
bellowed at the trees he hailed at the
04:45
birds and still he drank until he had
04:49
just one word left
04:57
Stanley awoke the next day with a start
04:59
he thought back to the night before and
05:05
dimly recalls shutting the word Julia
05:07
over and over again at a nearby duck
05:10
which in retrospect was a real whist
05:26
[Music]
05:29
[Laughter]
05:32
[Music]
05:47
hello
05:48
please enter how many words you have
05:51
left you have one words left if is
05:57
correct press 1 for yes or 3 I’m sorry
06:01
to hear that
06:03
would you like to hear a list of
06:05
suggested last words press 1 for yes or
06:09
3 suggested last words sorry
06:14
why thanks Allah dead if you would like
06:21
us to send a loved ones a recorded
06:23
message press 0 please type in your
06:27
loved ones named using the keypad on
06:30
your telephone
06:31
now you typed in jugg Liat if this
06:39
correct press 1 for yes or 3 great
06:44
composing suggested message to juggler
06:47
at now dear juggling at I’m so sorry I’m
06:56
dead I’ll be waiting for you in heaven
07:00
would you like to send this message
07:02
press 1 for yes or 3 but to record your
07:07
own personal message to juggler and
07:10
press 0 now for suggested adjectives
07:15
which best describe your loved one press
07:19
1 for help recalling the first time you
07:23
press 2 for words but right with
07:27
juggling at press 3 for help putting
07:33
into words how much you love them press
07:36
4 for more time press 5 I’m sorry I
07:45
didn’t get that would you like more time
07:49
would you like more time would you like
07:55
more chance
07:58
[Music]
08:40
you