When someone who is harming you is more powerful than you—whether that’s your father or mother, your wife or husband, or your political leaders—what’s a useful way to frame your relationship to that person? One useful way is to think of yourself as a resistance fighter and to hold what you are doing as resisting. It may be impossible to hope to win if your opponent is much more powerful than you are, but it is absolutely in your power to resist.
Like a French resistance fighter during World War II, who was severely limited as to what he could do but who could still get vital information back to the Allies and, once the invasion had commenced, actively blow up bridges and derail troop trains, you may be limited in what you can do to resist. But those limitations do not completely curtail your freedom to act and, as importantly, do not prevent you from taking a certain psychological stance, the stance of a resistance fighter.
In a recent book of mine, The Power of Daily Practice, I describe a daily warrior practice, and many people are reporting that such a daily practice is exactly what they need. They need, in a daily way, to actively increase their self-confidence, build their power, hone their resistance skills, and, where they can, take action. They need to both build their warrior persona and be that warrior. If you take these two ideas together, that with respect to the authoritarians in the world and the authoritarians in your life you will operate both as a resistance fighter and as an everyday warrior, you give yourself your best chance of dealing with the family fascists and the political bullies who bedevil you.
Resistance fighters in WWII were severely hampered by the cruelty and ruthlessness of their oppressors. They knew that if they killed a random German officer, which would be easy enough to do, the occupying Germans would kill a thousand innocent French men and women in retaliation. The occupying Germans could walk around freely because everyone knew what would happen if even token resistance was offered. This has always been true: authoritarians, whether in the family or as political oppressors, are cruel, ruthless, and make it unbearably difficult to resist.
So, resistance as action may prove genuinely dangerous and therefore severely limited. But resistance as attitude is another matter. You can adopt the persona of resistance fighter and completely inhabit that persona.
Yes, you will only be able take action when you can. But, inhabiting that persona, you will be ready for action and primed for action. Maybe because you are being pushed to the limit, maybe because the moment is opportune, or maybe because you’ve built up sufficient courage and action is finally possible, when that moment comes you will bravely act.
If you are obliged to deal with authoritarians, engage in a daily warrior practice and internally adopt the persona of resistance fighter. Remember: WWII was won. In city attics and farmhouses across Europe, ordinary people made the decision to resist.
Whether it is resistance to a family dictator or to authoritarian leaders and their minions, you may have a similar decision to make.
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