Study Shows Men Feel Stronger Emotional Pain After Breakups Than Women

Key Points

A recent study showed that men are more likely than women to seek help through Reddit about relationships.
Communication issues were among the most often discussed issues, including the difficulty of communicating about problems and trust issues.
A person’s emotional trauma from a relationship was often more extensively discussed than the issues themselves, and heartache was the most popular topic.

It’s perfectly normal for the ending of a relationship to have an impact on your mental health, but it’s difficult to know who suffers the loss more intensely. A recent study published by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships discovered that males were more likely to seek assistance with breakups via Reddit, typically on subreddits for breaking up, such as r/breakups.

Researchers looked at the language and demographics of 184,631 people about relationships on Reddit over approximately 12 years. They found that communication problems were the most frequently discussed issues.

By showing how difficult it can be to seek help, this research could suggest maintaining healthy relationships.

Coping With a Breakup on Reddit

This study looked at the debate about relationship issues on Reddit to better understand the need for help among the general population. The study discovered users with an average age of around 24 and the highest percentage between 1 and 24.

Researchers found the same discussion topics on Reddit compared to why people are more likely to seek out professional assistance, including communication and trust issues, intimacy and finances, household chores, and more. Based on this, Reddit may provide greater accessibility to some people since it provides entirely free anonymity to talk about problems in relationships.

The study revealed that men are more inclined to talk about heartache, school, partying, dating, and language. In contrast, women tend to talk about abuse, money, physical distance, chores at home. The use of gender binary was one of the limitations of this study, and so was the Reddit survey, since the users are typically younger, male, and American.

Relationships Foster Connections

A licensed social work professional and neuroscience expert, Reneta Weaver LCSSW-C PhD, says:

“The absence of healthy attachment and connection in relationships creates emotional and physical problems that men and women try to resolve by seeking help from strangers online.”

For Dr Reneta Weaver, a clinical social worker, the study proves that people heal in groups since they do not need to meet to experience others’ suffering.

“I wish the public would understand the Neuroscience perspective of relationships that explains we are hard-wired for connection and attachment. I’ve seen an increase in patients suffering from an increase in depression, anxiety and lower productivity due to stress in relationships following the pandemic.”

— RENETTA WEAVER, LCSW-C, PHD

Because relationships are crucial for people to perform, Weaver highlights the value of expanding research efforts to include people who aren’t gendered binary and those who do not adhere to gender-based norms.

Weaver clarifies that relationships can be the most important ingredient in helping us to thrive.

“In the absence of these ingredients we will experience high stress, weakened immunity, and are more susceptible to physical illness and disease.”

Socialization Plays a Key Role

A licensed psychotherapist, Akua K. Boateng, Doctor of Philosophy, LPC, says:

“Expression isn’t the only way to prove emotional experiences. While men aren’t able to communicate their emotions verbally in the way ladies do, their emotions run deep.”

In her opinion as a clinical psychologist, Boateng highlights, “When men are socialized to express their emotions verbally, they are typically honest and forthcoming with their feelings.” This could be a great way to address the various communication issues that were observed to be expected in this study.

As emotional intelligence and literacy are crucial factors in expressive emotions, Boateng states, “Men tend to have challenges with both due to socialization.” In this manner, by educating all genders about communicating effectively, interpersonal relationships can be improved.

What This Means For You

As this study suggests, the need for help in relationships on the Reddit platform was primarily connected to issues with communication. Because social norms are formed through social interaction over time, more efforts are needed to encourage healthy communication skills.

Pandemic teaches us how to communicate online with grace and respect; managing relationships could be a good opportunity for improvement. If all genders were taught about the importance of healthy communication at an early age, their skills could be very beneficial throughout their lives.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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