3 Things We All Believe About Love That Just Might Be Wrong

I have been believing in love since I learned this word in school. Romeo and Juliet was the first love story I read, and I instantly glorified it. Well, it took me years of failed relationships and toxic behaviors to realize that the idea of love I have been holding onto all this while, was nothing but an illusion.

I’m still trying to unlearn everything wrong I believed about love, but I’m grateful that the love I know now is far better than the love I imagined in my head.

Wrong Belief # 1: Love Is Responsible for Making You Happy

In one of his interviews, Will Smith said ‘She should be happy and I should be happy individually. Then we come together and share our happiness. Giving someone a responsibility to make you happy when you can’t do it for yourself is selfish’

We’ve been made to believe that finding love will magically cure all your problems, and make you the happiest you have ever been. The truth is, no person is responsible to make you happy if you cannot be happy on your own. A healthy love enhances your life for the better, but making you happy 100% of the time isn’t among one of the many things that love is.

Wrong Belief # 2: It’s Supposed To Be Perfect

The relationships in my favorite movies like ‘To All The Boy I’ve Loved Before’ and ‘The Notebook’ are perfect. We believe love is all about romantic dinner dates and red roses. It sure is, but it’s not entirely it.

It’s true that a relationship that tires your soul isn’t healthy and right for you. But love isn’t promised to be perfect all the time as well. Finding a person without any flaws is not possible. I think our flaws and mistakes are what make us human.

The best of your love comes out when you are challenged to love your partner in their messiness. Your partner might not be a perfect person, your relationship might not be ideal like movies and it sure gets hard sometimes, but couples with genuine feelings of love for each other always come out stronger.

Wrong Belief # 3: It’s All That Matters to Stay in a Relationship

We all deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship, but we sometimes believe that love is all that it takes to form a relationship like that. The foundation of a strong relationship lies in so many other virtues besides love like, trust, honesty, commitment, safety, happiness, and respect.

So, if you’re in an abusive relationship, staying because there’s love isn’t enough. Or if you’re in a cheating relationship, believing that they got carried away, and if you stay, your love will make them loyal to you isn’t the best thing to do for you or the relationship.

Where there’s love, there’s trust and respect. Because love coexists with these virtues. Love alone cannot make a relationship survive for long.

Takeaways

Wrong Belief # 1: Love is Responsible for Making You Happy
Wrong Belief # 2: It’s Supposed To Be Perfect
Wrong Belief # 3: It’s All That Matter To Stay

Falling in love is beautiful. It’s one of the greatest feelings one can experience, but only if it’s healthy. It’s not always a toxic partner that ruins a good relationship, but sometimes, our own idea of love manipulates us into believing wrong things about love. We see these beliefs as fulfilling and exciting when in reality it’s damaging us and the relationship.

That is why it is important to keep a check on our ideas and behaviors, to make sure that we are not falling into a spiral of lifelong hurt and destruction.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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