Finally, Some Summer Fun

“In the desert in the dry,
Before the breaking of the rain,
The temperature in the shade
Had reached 110 again.”

Since we are enjoying a break from the ruinous heat and humidity of summer, thank you Polar Vortex, long have we loved, and yearned for you, it seems like a good time to warn you about the dangers of over exposure to the harmful rays of the sun. With such pleasant temperatures, it is easy to think I will get outdoors and do some stuff, lots of stuff, more stuff than wise, more stuff than anybody would think possible.

Whether you are going to do yard work, enjoy a little time in the pool, throw something on the grill, walk through park, or any number of things, make sure you are adequately protected, by using plenty of sunscreen. It is not possible to stress the importance of this strongly enough. It is so vital they stopped calling it suntan lotion. No longer will we laud the attractiveness of a bronzed, summer sun worshipper. Now we admire the pale, pasty complexion resembling potato soup.

“It follows me wherever I go!”

No, it is time to start lathering up with a balm that is waterproof, sweatproof, and keeps the damaging awful rays of the sun from your delicate, dainty skin. Most doctors recommend a SPF (Sun Prohibiting Function) of at least 190 or 200. This is the equivalent of staying indoors.

Of course most doctors recommend at least three servings of vegetables, and fruit with every meal, and snack. Oh, and they also recommend that you put down the giant soda, you worthless slug! And they would be happy if you would exercise a little more, and eat less fried food, and lay off the processed food, and would it kill you to take the stairs once in a while. In fact, most doctors would like nothing better than to suck all of the fun out of your life, leaving you with nothing but a long, dull, tasteless life, filled with monotony and boredom, and exercise, and medicine. And don’t even get me started on dentists, they are a whole different form of cruel, and awful, and… Oops, that is another post.

Anyway, enjoy yourself outdoors, try to be careful, don’t forget your sunscreen, stay hydrated, and don’t forget to take some Del Lords music with you, it makes everything seem a little better.

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Previously Published on Life, Explained

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