Seven Hidden Dangers of Using Money to Attract Women

There is no denying it. Money makes the world go around. We need it to pay for everything — from necessities like food and shelter to non-essentials such as leisure products or jewelry.

Since we need money for just about everything in life, does that mean guys should go about using money to buy relationships and sex?

The answer to that question would be an unequivocal no, and here is why.

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1. You will become a gold digger magnet

If I had to pick one reason why leading with your wallet when dating is a bad idea, it would be gold-diggers. These are the women who get with guys not for love but for the social and economic benefits.

The sad part is most men who fall prey to this type of person are unaware they are being taken advantage of. They cannot distinguish between genuine love versus the fake love gold diggers feign to keep the money flowing.

And don’t think for a minute you need to be a man of means to attract a gold-digger. There are different levels to the game of finessing men out of their hard earned money. Some will go for the super-wealthy, while others will settle for the average joe.

The only way to avoid attracting gold-diggers is to avoid showing you have and are willing to spend a lot of money on her during the courtship phase. So forget those expensive dinners, buying her lavish gifts, or paying her bills. If you feel inclined to do all those things, it’s better to wait until she has proven herself first.

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2. You will attract takers

When I look at my own life and that of my friends and family, I notice people in relationships fall into two camps: you have those that give and those that take. Ideally, the best would be when two givers end up together, but that’s not how things usually work out.

When you lead with your money, you are more likely to attract a woman that takes but never gives.

Takers are intrinsically lazy and entitled. When they see you flash all that cash, they will want to get with you because you represent a life of ease.

And If we are being honest, men who attract women with money are not doing so out of generosity. Money is just a tool used to manipulate women into liking them.

Most of the time, they don’t even care about the woman beyond how young, pretty, and sexually available she is.

Now I’m not saying every relationship where the guy is the sole financial provider, the other party is automatically only with him for the money.

It’s entirely possible to have an equal partnership where, for the sake of argument, the wife stays at home. In that case, the wife would pull her weight around the house doing traditional household duties.

But women who only care about money are the direct antithesis of the traditional stay-at-home parent. They much rather hire help to do all the work around the house while they spend all day lounging around thinking of new creative ways to spend their partner’s money.

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3. You will repel independent women

Men have been conditioned into thinking women will never respect them unless they can fulfill the financial provider role.

This might have been true before the women’s liberation movement. Back then, women had no choice but to find a man who could take care of them. Nowadays, that’s not the case anymore. Many often earn just as much or even more than men sometimes.

Values such as curiosity, emotional presence, acceptance, or equality are increasingly becoming more important than how much money a guy can bring to the table.

Most women with standards who make their own money will not be interested in becoming a kept woman. They are not impressed with a guy who tries to woo them based on what he can do for them monetarily. If anything, they find such behavior low value and reeking of insecurity.

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4. It’s harder for genuine attraction to blossom

I don’t deny that women can be attracted to wealthy men.

However, when guys leverage their wealth to attract women, seldom do the women they inevitably attract like them for who they are as a person. The attraction here is only towards the lifestyle he can provide, rather than the man himself.

Some guys might not care that she is only there for the money. So long as she’s available whenever he needs her to be. Though, guys who think like this are in the minority.

Most people want to feel loved for who they are and not for what they can do.

Genuine attraction can only be achieved when a man has confidence in himself. He doesn’t need to manipulate women into liking him; because he knows his value comes from within.

Romantic attraction requires a deep emotional, mental, and physical connection above all else, and not once is money necessary to achieve that.

Let her see you as a lover first and foremost, and then maybe being a provider can come into the picture as the relationship matures.

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5. They will take everything during the divorce

Should you be in the unfortunate position of marrying a gold digger, and should the marriage end, you can rest assured she will take you to the cleaners during the divorce. And why wouldn’t she?

Her sole reason for being with you is for the money, so when the gravy train ends, it only makes sense for her to maximize how much she can extract out of you one last time.

The number of celebrities who went bankrupt because of alimony payments/child support payments to a status-chasing ex-wife is as numerous as cherry tomatoes in August.

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6. They will attempt to lock you in at all costs

A pregnancy trap or baby trap is when a woman intentionally chooses to get pregnant for the purpose of securing a marriage or resources through child support payments.

The prevalence of baby trapping is difficult to come by. There doesn’t seem to be any hard scientific data on this serious issue. Perhaps because many women who trap men by getting pregnant wouldn’t publicly admit to doing so, and if confronted, they can chalk it up to it being an accident.

It’s just another reason why you need to be extra vigilant with the type of people you choose to sleep with.

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7. Transactional sex is never as good

Not all sex is created equal.

Sure, you can pay for sex, but you can’t pay for genuine desire.

How women behave in the bedroom will largely depend on how she views you as a man. If she chooses you only because of money, then the sex will reflect that.

Transactional sex will never be good precisely because she is only engaging sexually to keep the money flowing. It’s essentially a mild form of prostitution that’s culturally acceptable.

Now, some women might be better actors than others, and easily fool men by feigning passion. But still, it doesn’t take away from the fact it’s not real.

If you have to beg, plead or negotiate financial favors to get intimacy from your partner, then you are most likely getting sex of the transnational variety.

The only guys who get to see her full sexual nature are those she is sexually attracted to, whether or not they have money.

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The “why” is more important than anything else

Spending money is inevitable when you are in a relationship or even dating. And there is nothing wrong with that.

However, the intention behind the spending is what matters.

Most guys spend on women because they feel they have to. They believe it’s the only way to make women like them.

They go on endless dates, spending time and attention on women while secretly hating the very concept of dating.

Spending money becomes a means to an end. An obligation, if you will. There is an expectation that by spending all this money, the girl will reward the guy with sex and affection. When that doesn’t happen, some guys end up feeling used.

Hence, you often hear a segment of men lament how selfish women are and that they only care about money and nothing else. Had these men been spending their money because they genuinely want to, the outcome would have been irrelevant.

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Closing thoughts

Did you know the average millionaire goes bankrupt 3.5 times during their lifetime?

Nothing in life is guaranteed. Money comes and goes, and people fall on hard times constantly.

Having a relationship based on money means your partner will only be as loyal so long as the good times last. And who wants that? Certainly not me.

Think of it this way; If you remove money from the equation, would your partner still be interested in you? Or if your partner stopped having sex with you, would you continue being interested in them? If you can answer yes, maybe you might have something genuine that will stand the test of time.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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