Let’s start with a very important reminder: It is far easier to ruin a relationship than to build it. It may take a year or more to finally find the person you feel is your soulmate or better half. But only a few days to weeks to lose them… forever.
A friend of mine secretly confided in me a few weeks ago about his girlfriend. He loves her, but he’s been thinking about breaking up with her over the last few days.
What happened?
Since she learned he’s getting paid from his side hustle, she’s been coming up with one financial need after another. And being a super nice guy, he can’t just refuse to lend a hand even when he knows he’s doing more than he should on her.
The lesson: love is not immortal.
If you subject love to some bad and manipulative attitudes, it can die a natural death.
I have come to realize that no matter how much your partner loves you if you consistently stretch them to a certain limit, they will be left with no option but to back out of the relationship.
Together, we shall examine four major reasons guys get tired of dating and give up on their relationship following certain behaviors and habits common among some ladies.
My advice is this: if you’re guilty of any, stop now immediately else, you may risk losing your man.
If you’re set let’s begin:
1. You’re insensitive to his needs
In other words, you only care about what you can get from him.
One of the biggest mistakes some ladies make is to assume they are to be cared for, pampered, and spoon-fed by their guys. With zero plans for the needs of the guy. Or worst still, they assume that the guy has no unmet needs.
The truth is this:
No matter how successful a guy may seem, he has a need yet to be met.
If he doesn’t have a financial need, he has a psychological need, an emotional need, a spiritual need or a physical need.
If you make the mistake of assuming he doesn’t have a need, you’re only just being selfish and self-centered in the relationship. And like every relationship out there standing on such imbalance, sooner or later, the partner whose needs are unmet will wear out and give up on the relationship.
How often do you ask your partner how he is doing? How he manages to take care of your needs as well as his. How did his day go and really hear him out. How he manages to cope with your human limitations and oversights in the relationship.
Only a few things can make a man feel better than showing you’re sensitive to his needs and that you acknowledge his effort in the relationship.
If you haven’t been doing this, today is a good time to start.
Next,
2. You make him feel he’s not worth having you
And so you constantly take him for granted.
You only return his missed calls when you feel like; you don’t introduce him to your friends; you don’t want to walk with him outside holding hands; you never appreciate what he does. For that reason, he keeps trying to impress you, hoping one day he will finally succeed.
I have been there before. I know how it feels.
The truth of the matter is this: no matter how much a guy loves a lady if she keeps making him feel he’s not worth her and keeps taking him for granted, he will have no option but to throw in the towel and one day kiss the relationship goodbye.
Most men can bear hardship. But only a few can keep up with ladies taking them for granted. We’d rather be alone than be with someone who messes up with our ego in the name of love.
3. He can’t trace anything in his life to you
Society has made it seem as though men should have to care for and pamper ladies in the relationship. And yes, we accept. It is a thing of pride and ego that a guy has enough to take care of their ladies. It feels good to do that without pulling a lot of weight.
But it doesn’t end there.
Relationships are about give and take.
That’s what keeps it running and healthy and longstanding.
Healthy relationships are designed to be a give-and-take, with both partners working together to provide support, encouragement, and compassion during times of challenge, sadness, or problems.
The next time you visit your guy, take a look at his room. Is there anything in there that is traceable to you? His pillows? His wall clock? Flower vase? Bedspread? Anything he can see and think about you?
This is a secret:
It doesn’t take much to impress a guy. You don’t really need to buy him the world. Just a little can go a long way. Get him something.
That’s a clever way to earn his long-term loyalty and respect. If not, trust me when he meets someone who does, he may never return to you.
4. You aren’t supportive of his vision and dreams in any way
If there’s anything men love more than sex, it’s pursuing their goals and achieving their dreams.
Men are egoistic in nature. Achievement makes us feel better about ourselves.
A woman’s sense of self is defined through her feelings and the quality of her relationships; a man’s sense of self is defined through his ability to achieve results. — women are relationship-oriented; men are goal-oriented.
Why is that important to you?
If you don’t support his goals and dreams, trust me, he’ll switch your place with someone who does. He’ll spend more time with them, have a deeper relationship with them, and over time be fond of them till you almost become nonexistent in his life. And this can be the beginning of failure in your relationship.
Never forget this: sex is never enough.
If that’s the only thing you’re bringing to the table, then you’re at a disadvantage. Instead, also be interested in his goals and dreams. And in a little way, you can support him.
…
My aim is that your relationship succeeds. And that you end up with the man of your dreams. That’s why you should desist from these toxic behaviors and attitudes that can drive them away from your life.
As you do, I see your relationship getting stronger and stronger by the day.
Identify the areas where you are at fault and work on them. In the end, you’ll be happier and achieve the marital life you wished for yourself and your children.
Cheers!
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
From The Good Men Project on Medium
 |
 |
 |
 |
***
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—–
Photo credit: whoislimos on Unsplash
