Joanna Schroeder thinks your willingness to tolerate racism, sexism and homophobia is bullish*t.
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The other day on Facebook a friend of mine shared his thoughts on the Coca Cola ad set to the song “America the Beautiful”.
My friend’s status said, “If this bothered you…… I don’t even know what to say to you. Get a brain.”
This seems like an obvious sentiment. If you’re bothered by “America the Beautiful” being sung in other languages, or by images of happy people doing fun things while being unapologetically whatever race or religion they are, then you do need a brain.
I don’t think anyone was surprised by the fact that some people hated the ad. Racism is alive and well, and it’s something people of color experience all the time, in all sorts of ways. Hating “America the Beautiful” because it portrayed America the Diverse is par for the course in a nation peppered with intolerant bigots.
I had to stop and do a double-take at this.
Really? It doesn’t bother you that people are being racist? Not at all?
It was hard for me to resist typing, “You are a moron and I hope you fall in a deep, deep hole.” Instead, I said, “Of course it doesn’t bother you that people are racist. You are white. Why would it bother you that people don’t like non-white people?”
The response that I got was fascinating (again, paraphrasing).
“No,” said one racist-who-thinks-she’s-not, “I, unlike you, am not intolerant of other people’s opinions.”
This forced me to consider whether I was, in fact, being intolerant.
I am most certainly sometimes stupid, and quite often blind to the realities that people of color (or other marginalized groups) face on a day-to-day basis, primarily because no matter how hard I try, my privileges can make it hard for me to see outside of my own experience. I work hard to simply keep my mouth shut and listen so as to avoid being stupid and perpetuating more stupid… But I don’t think of myself as “intolerant”.
But then I thought about the actual meaning of that word and I realized that, YES, I am intolerant.
From Mirriam-Webster:
in·tol·er·ant
adjective \-rənt\
Don’t like ads? Become a supporter and enjoy The Good Men Project ad free: not willing to allow or accept something
: not willing to allow some people to have equality, freedom, or other social rights
See what she did there? She took a word that is contextually understood to mean one thing (essentially, bigoted or racist) and twisted it around so that she could sound righteous by exploiting the fact that it also means, basically, “not putting up with your stupid shit.”
I suspected that this must have a Fox News origin, and so I went digging. I Googled “leftist intolerance” and found a lot of really amazingly terrible clips wherein Fox News pundits call liberals hypocrites because we, the liberals, are the ones who are intolerant of them and their racism and anti-gay agendas.
Here’s one really painful example, though I have to warn you before you click through that it is a clip of five (not one, not two, but FIVE) white people talking about the NAACP and US Senator Tim Scott (who is Black), and how generally terrible they think the NAACP is to Black people. I’m not embedding it for obvious reasons.
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After all of that, I realized that yes, I am intolerant and I’m proud of it!
I’m intolerant of white people being assholes about “America the Beautiful” being sung in non-English languages. I’m intolerant of people who say that people of color or non-Christian folks don’t represent our nation.
I’m intolerant of people who say that our LGBTQ+ brethren don’t deserve equal treatment under a Constitution and Bill of Rights that affords all people the same rights.
I’m intolerant of people referring to young Black men as thugs when they, themselves, are the ones who think gunning down unarmed boys, girls, women, and men who aren’t committing any crimes (or even trying to commit crimes) is an okay and legal thing to do. I’m intolerant of your racist thuggery, racist white people.
I’m intolerant of a lot, really. I’m intolerant of people who abuse children, of people who commit rape, and of people who deny the reality of how often rape and sexual violence happens in this nation to men, women, boys, girls and everyone else.
I’m intolerant of people who think that being transgender is something we can just tell people to stop being and that it will magically work. I’m intolerant of those who who choose to mis-gender someone who very clearly has told you that she is a woman.
I’m intolerant of the parents and teachers who think it’s okay to let kids say “f*g” or “pussy” or “queer” to kids like the boy who likes My Little Pony and is now on life support after trying to take his own life. I’m intolerant of the adults who modeled that hate to their children. Yes, shaming kids who don’t conform to the strictest gender binary is hate. Pure and simple. And it is killing kids.
I’m intolerant of the people who tell my friend’s daughter that her gorgeous natural hair is a problem for them. I’m intolerant of the toy companies that don’t offer enough dolls that look like all the kids in the world, so that each child can have a baby doll that represents an image she or he can relate to (I’m looking at you, American Girl).
I’m intolerant of people who perpetuate myths about the nature of Islam, and I’m intolerant of the people who scrawled racist graffiti across the gorgeous GAP ad featuring Sikh-American Waris Ahluwahlia, implying he and anyone else in a turban is a terrorist.
I’m intolerant of people who refuse to see the pain and disrespect brought to Native Americans by the unauthorized use of Native mascots, names and iconography. I’m intolerant of the white folks who think they have some right to Wahoo the Indian or the name “Redsk*ns“.
I’m intolerant of this nation of bullies that gets off on thinking that the only real way to be American is to be white, non-poor, Christian, educated, able-bodied, cis-gendered, un-scarred by emotional or physical abuse, and straight. And I’m intolerant of all of you who think that it’s okay to say absolutely nothing to the people in your life who are harming others through any sort of racism, abuse or bigotry.
Hell yes, I’m intolerant of your willingness to tolerate others’ hate.
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60 Comments on "Hell Yes, I’m Intolerant."
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While I agree with you about them being racist, at the same time I disagree with the racist attacks against them such as “Of course it doesn’t bother you that people are racist. You are white.”
Racism is a major problem in this country and needs to die.. on both sides. It’s much like the usage of the word “nigger”. I agree with Bill Cosby when he frankly said that you can’t expect others to stop using that word when you, yourself, use it.
FYI, here’s one article about the Virginia tribes and how they feel about the name. As noted, the tribes in this area think it’s an honor – not a slur.
http://wtvr.com/2013/10/14/virginia-tribes-with-unusual-reaction-to-redskins-name-controversy/
Keep hearing Tom Lehrer’s “Folk Song Army”.
“We all hate poverty, war and injustice
Unlike the rest of you squares.”
Everyone has their intolerance, to me it wouldn’t be usual if you didn’t have at least one
Even though we are on opposites “sides” of the discourse, I applaud your willingness to be open. Also, what is really bothersome to me is the lack of civil conversation. This is where the media and many others fail miserably. I believe our republic is strong when we can disagree respectfully; where all differences ethnic, cultural and anything else we bring to the table can be discussed.
There’s a great deal of fear out there and that needs to be faced with honesty and yes, forgiveness. Only then can we heal and become stronger as a culture.
Mark, it just got held up in moderation, and then we deleted it because once you wrote this it was a duplicate.
Thanks Joanna. Figured as much but I’ve sometimes experienced issues on posting. Sometimes it’s there. Sometimes not. Odd.
Mark, if you look above I say that I believe everyone should have the right to say whatever they want. But it’s my right to tell them they’re being intolerant xenophobes.
You know, here’s the thing. I’m not complaining about your politics – about who you vote for, how you see fiscal policy or health care or funding education. If you read that stuff into what I’ve written, you’re not really paying attention.
I’ve listed what I’m talking about. Homophobia, bullying, racism. If you’re not doing that, propagating that, or letting the people in your lives get away with that, then none of this is about you.
Great article Joanna,
I am always struggling with this issue of tolerance. No one seems to understand that we tolerate things we don’t like (taxes, annoying coworkers,root canals). Tolerance and acceptance are two very different things. Acceptance means I don’t need to reinvent you so that I’m comfortable. Tolerance typically means I don’t like whatever is going on and as soon as I can use my privilege to dismiss “you” I will.
Brava Joanna,
Thanks for educating us !!!
Wow, may feel big when you decide who’s comments are accepted and who’s aren’t. But the sad reality is you know how pathetic you are for refusing honest comments with which you have no rebuttal. You know your little minded followers may have stopped to think about what I said…..You Were Scared….
Thank you for proving me right on how lib-tards can only function in echo-boxes. My 8 year old even shoot his head at how dishonest a person you are.
It’s really kind of you to share your ethics with us in this way, actually. “Lib-tards” clears it all up for us.
Remember the line where I said that parents model bullying to their kids? But I’m sure you’d never let your kids use the R-word against another child, right? You just use the words in comments on the Internet.
I have never been called libtard…that is alright with me. I hope any soul comes along who witnesses an obvious fatally intentioned act against a child or helpless creature would act swiftly and without remorse. I do not respect blind “not sees” nor excuse it. Of course I would be scared….I would not let it go though.
Call me a tard….I wonder about your ***ckin education and would not trust you to raise a child. There are fine English classes you must have made a retarded (slow? late?) arrival at. You work on that tardyboy.
I guess as a conservative who watches FOX, I’m not too welcome here. See ya.
BTW, my usual screen name is Tom Brechlin.
Tom, who’s disagreeing with you in comments?
Tom, I just don’t think that five white people need to be siting around talking about how Black people are treated by the NAACP. That seems really inappropriate, colonialist, and even paternalistic. I mean, how hard would it have been to have Black people commentating on the NAACP’s treatment of conservative Black legislators? It wouldn’t be hard, but it would require a few of those white folks to step off the stage.
My rule is always this: The subject of the story should be the one telling the story.
Mark, a lot of people believe that Republicans don’t call out their elected and the truth is that we do and we do it especially when they say one thing and do the other. Last summer we had a protest in our area at the offices of one of our state representatives because of his recent actions.We had over 400 protesters.
Republican?
Wow, entire article of hate, judgments, & inaccuracies stemmed from one person’s negative FB comment?!?!?! Why can’t people write: wow great commercial or powerful, etc.. I mostly see hate & negative comments stem from the far left. And BTW, I googled ‘leftist intolerance’ & didn’t even see anything from FOX! How may pages back did you have to look to find that?
It appears most readers here don’t ‘fact check’ you. Cheers!
I actually may have also used the word “hypocrisy” when googling.
But hey, good thing you’re here to keep us intolerant folks honest!
Hey, I believe that there is a time and place for everything. Even Love Hate Violence and intolerance. That is a learned, now instinctive part of me. I must use balanced redirecting on myself…I do not think hatred in general is part of my psyche. Some acts cannot be witnessed with tolerance, some atrocities must be dealt with NOW. Very tough thinking to peruse….I am alive because someone acted timely and refused to walk away. This is my truth.
I love it. I’m often tempted to fight fire with fire when it comes to issues. Of course, there’s certainly a danger. If you’re so intolerant of what you perceive as intolerance that you won’t listen to your “opponents” words, you might very well become what you hate. I’ve heard from lots of so called tolerant people whose intolerance makes them look petty in the face of better counterarguments, because they refuse to engage logically.
Your article brings back horrible memories of the right wing “silent majority” that has morphed into the tea party. Yes, if we don’t speak up for what is right then our silence is considered as support and the intolerant will grow stronger on your timidity. An intolerant bully needs to be confronted otherwise he/she will feed on our passivity.
I think we all have to acknowledge the racist and biased stuff in ourselves…I hear all kinds of stuff from relatives and co-workers in private….even amongst Asians, and between different regional cultures and dialects, I hear all sorts of comments…I guess it is easier to elevate yourself in the hierarchy of things by pushing down someone else…
I’m a small l libertarian.
I will defend anyone’s right to have their own view regardless of how different it is to mine. Right up to the point where you want to take someone else’s voice away from them, then I will be defending their voice against you.
Oh I think they should have the RIGHT to say it, but I also have the right to tell them that they’re being a bigoted asshole.
HAHAHA! I love that. we must stand for our values, and if that means our values DO NOT HARM others, but elevate them, whether it’s keeping them safe, seeing them as equal, or what have you, then I believe you should have the backbone to say something! If the evil-intolerant can say and do what they want, so should the good-tolerant (if that makes sense)!!
In other words, there are many things in this world worth fighting for. And who do you think are the fighters?
****good intolerant! blah
One cannot ask for a principle to include its antithesis.
The entire point of the concept of tolerance….is to encourage tolerance. Intolerance is the exact opposite of this, and as such is not covered by the concept of tolerance.
It is like saying “freedom” entails the right of people to restrict other’s freedom, without qualifier or quantifier. That’s not what the concept entails.
It’s like “fucking for virginity”.
The notion that those who are intolerance of intolerance are not being tolerant is a semantic argument (and a lazy one at that) put forward by people who think they’re being clever.
You do follow that there are two different definitions for the word, right? That’s why I put in the quote from the dictionary.
So, no, it’s actually not asking for a principle to include its antithesis, since the word has two different meanings.
I’m saying that’s what the people calling others intolerant for not tolerating intolerance are doing.
One could appeal to the dictionary, but I would prefer that the above argument should be treated as ridiculous an argument as my freedom & fucking-for-virginity examples.
Ah! It’s like a “Who’s On First” exercise!
Yeah, sorry – thought I’d been clear enough in my first post, but evidently not O_O
It’s always interesting how often people will nitpick over what are essentially homonyms. Some people will do this if it suits an agenda as well.
“Evolution is only a theory” is another classic. And I don’t think even creationists are incapable of parsing two homonyms.
Joanna,
You wrote: “I’m intolerant of people who perpetuate myths about the nature of Islam…” What are these “myths” you speak of?
First and foremost, that Islam is by nature a violent religion.
And just so everyone’s clear, any comments that perpetuate such myths will be deleted.
“Our culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone’s life style, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. You don’t have to compromise convictions to be compassionate.”