Back in 2008, I met a man who dubbed me Bliss Mistress. Short term lovers, lifelong friends, we connected initially via a dating website. He lived in the San Fran area at the time and I am here near Philly. A long-distance relationship commenced and we met six months after our initial email contact. Although we were soul friends (the Gaelic term is anam cara), we realized we were not meant to be life partners. I came there twice, he was here for several months and I still smile when I remember our time together and the deep imprint he made on my heart. When I wrote my first book, I named it The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming the Ordinary Into The Extraordinary. We remain in touch since then. He told me that if I was going to use that appellation, “You’d damn sure better be living it.”
I do, most of the time, choosing my bliss in personal interactions, hobbies, activities, career path, perspective on life. Despite that intention, even the Bliss Mistress gets the blues. This is one of those times. I have had a series of distressing physical symptoms in the past month that include nausea, abdominal pain, (some related to kidney stones), cardiac arrhythmia, exhaustion (beyond fatigue) and a strong desire to remain under the covers until it all passes. I have had three hospital visits in that period as well. Still waiting on two additional tests to get more definitive answers.
Complicating that is my visceral reaction to world events that began in 2016. Try as I might, I have not been able to maintain a sunny outlook for very long. As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, in this case too, I ‘have a strong desire to remain under the covers until it all passes.’ In other words, wake me up when the world becomes sane again. As a journalist, I write a lot about my view on the impact of decisions emanating from the White House on the people around me, as well as the woman in the mirror. It is therapeutic and is an attempt to change people’s minds who are otherwise inclined to align with this administration.
What keeps me sane and vertical are the good news stories that also proliferate. Some of my favorites are these.
A man remarried his wife who has Alzheimer’s and forgot that they were already wed. Validation therapy, rather than reality therapy wins the day and love overcomes everything.
A little girl began a friendship when she reached out to a grieving man whose wife had just died and said, “Hi, old person.” He passed recently, but not before time with the child and her family that made the last four years of his life far richer than it would otherwise have been. We never know the difference we make in each others’ lives.
A group of motorcyclists called BACA (Bikers Against Child Abuse) escorts kids who have been abused, to court and stand guard at their homes in case a perpetrator returns. “The idea behind the group is that even kids know that nobody messes with bikers. Their reputation as fearless and protective translates to children who have been made to feel powerless and scared.”
Members of the Sikh community have been performing acts of kindness throughout the world, including providing food, water, and other forms of assistance in times of crisis.
Each of these stories reinforces my belief in the goodness of people despite the evil that is done.
Feel free to share your feel-good stories.
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Have you read the original anthology that was the catalyst for The Good Men Project? Buy here: The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood
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