30 Questions to Ask Yourself About Dating a Transsexual

Have you ever considered dating a transman or transwoman?
What would that mean for you?
How would it impact your belief about your gender?
What would it say about your sexuality?
Would it change your view of your own masculinity and/or femininity?
How about their masculinity or femininity?
Do you know what a transman or transwoman is?
Did you know there are many ways of defining transman and transwoman?
Did you know that transgender and transsexual aren’t the same thing?
Would you tell people that your partner was transsexual?
If you did, what do you think your parents, family and friends would say?
Would you be able to take your trans partner to church or to a wedding?
Would you take them to the pub?
Would you visit your mate’s house with them?
Would you take them to a work party?
If you fell in love – would you be able to marry?
Could you have children together?
Do you think having a trans-parent affects children?
Do you think you would be sexually compatible with a transperson?
Do you think a transperson would be attracted to you?
Do you know where to look for a trans partner?
Do you know how to approach a transperson on a dating app?
Do you know what to expect when they undress?
Is it OK for you that transpeople are different?
Do you respect transpeople?
Would you expect a trans partner to look, act, dress or speak a certain way?
Would you expect a trans partner to espouse your political and/or heteronormative views?
Do your regard transpeople as exotic?
Would you date a transperson out of curiosity?
Would you date a transperson just so you could say you tried it?

People ask me all kinds of questions, sometimes in an appropriate way and sometimes not. I would love to put these questions together as a survey of attitudes and understanding of transpeople. From my experience, it has changed exponentially in the last 10 years for the better, as mainstream media caught up. It’s re-assuring to know that many people could answer those questions in a much more informed manner now. I hope transphobia is dead or dying, despite occasional evidence to the contrary.

What happens if you read the same set of questions and substitute intersex, gay, indigenous, female, ginger-haired, vision-impaired or any other discriminating feature of your choice?

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